Topic: RELATIONSHIP FACT!
amiablesoul4u's photo
Fri 11/27/15 12:00 AM
“"the more i reveal about myself to women, the more they wanna judge me, not stereotyping women" but isn't that a fact...Guys!!!!! ”.

RustyKitty's photo
Fri 11/27/15 01:29 AM

“"the more i reveal about myself to women, the more they wanna judge me, not stereotyping women" but isn't that a fact...Guys!!!!! ”.

well, the more a person reveals oneself to another.. that person is not necessarily being 'judged', but being compared to others they've known, compared to their values, examined to see if that is what one could 'live with'..
like, you reveal you like to eat worms..I am going to compare that to my value system/moral compass..do other people I know eat worms? could I date someone who likes to eat worms..simple analogy for a simple question..

chronicliar75's photo
Fri 11/27/15 01:51 AM

well, the more a person reveals oneself to another.. that person is not necessarily being 'judged', but being compared to others they've known, compared to their values, examined to see if that is what one could 'live with'..
like, you reveal you like to eat worms..I am going to compare that to my value system/moral compass..do other people I know eat worms? could I date someone who likes to eat worms..simple analogy for a simple question..


^^:thumbsup:
There might be a room for misinterpretation,
but at least u have said what is important to u.



“"the more i reveal about myself to women, the more they wanna judge me, not stereotyping women" but isn't that a fact...Guys!!!!! ”.


I do not know about other people but
I am a believer of these words,

Here's the verbatim:

"context is the enemy of gullibility.
The more that people know about a subject,
the more they have mulled it over &
weighted different ideas, the more they
will feel in coming to their own conclusions"

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Sat 11/28/15 07:17 PM
Hmm. Well, in my experience, people who find they are "being judged more" the more they reveal about themselves, tend to be revealing things that other people don't like.

In other words, it's not THE FACT that you reveal yourself that gets people upset, it's WHAT you reveal, and maybe how you reveal it.

For example, if you open up to someone, and you are so nervous about it that you come off to them as being deceptive, your attempt at openness might backfire.


no photo
Tue 12/01/15 11:20 AM

“"the more i reveal about myself to women, the more they wanna judge me, not stereotyping women" but isn't that a fact...Guys!!!!! ”.

Judge is probably the wrong word.

I think everyone forms an opinion, men and women, you have to or end up with someone who's not right for you.

TxsGal3333's photo
Tue 12/01/15 11:52 AM
Truth is most likely the more you tell them the more they see things that are red flags to them or they see things that they don't like....

Many times once someone gets to know another they find out there are things in their lives they can not deal with. And realize they are just not the person they are looking for..

Dodo_David's photo
Tue 12/01/15 02:06 PM

“"the more i reveal about myself to women, the more they wanna judge me, not stereotyping women" but isn't that a fact...Guys!!!!! ”.


If women are judging you according to the content of your character, then how is that any different from what you do to them?

no photo
Tue 12/01/15 02:48 PM
Are they judging you? or just trying to see if you are compatible? Every time a person goes on a date, they learn a little bit about someone. Whenever you talk on the phone, you learn about someone, and maybe it is a deal breaker. Neither person is wrong or being judgmental, but looking out for themselves and what they want in a partner.

no photo
Tue 12/01/15 02:58 PM
And? Is this supposed to be a bad thing?

Dodo_David's photo
Tue 12/01/15 03:02 PM
Allow me to translate the statement in the original post:

"Women reject me once they get to know me. What is wrong with them?"

:tongue:

Rock's photo
Tue 12/01/15 03:16 PM

“"the more i reveal about myself to women, the more they wanna judge me, not stereotyping women" but isn't that a fact...Guys!!!!! ”.


You're very judgmental,
for someone who doesn't want to be judged.

no photo
Tue 12/01/15 03:24 PM

“"the more i reveal about myself to women, the more they wanna judge me, not stereotyping women" but isn't that a fact...Guys!!!!! ”.


FACT ! :banana:

EmJ1504's photo
Tue 12/01/15 03:37 PM

“"the more i reveal about myself to women, the more they wanna judge me, not stereotyping women" but isn't that a fact...Guys!!!!! ”.


So they judge you based on getting to know you, isn't that better than judging you before getting to know you? Isn't that why people get to know each other?

I don't think it is gender specific, will be the same when getting to know anybody, we ask questions and form opinions, it's also known as human nature.

Perhaps it is an unemotional dispassionate robot you are searching for? (I'm pretty sure there are lots of them on here too)

isaac_dede's photo
Tue 12/01/15 04:07 PM

Hmm. Well, in my experience, people who find they are "being judged more" the more they reveal about themselves, tend to be revealing things that other people don't like.

In other words, it's not THE FACT that you reveal yourself that gets people upset, it's WHAT you reveal, and maybe how you reveal it.

For example, if you open up to someone, and you are so nervous about it that you come off to them as being deceptive, your attempt at openness might backfire.




^^^^^^ this....

example:
Guy to friend: "my girlfiend just dumped me! All I did was open up to her and was honest with her...she said she wanted an honest man...I can't believe how judgmental she is!"

Friend to guy: " What did you tell her?"

Guy to friend: " That I was still married, but thinking of ending it for her....."

Yep them judgemental women lol

no1phD's photo
Tue 12/01/15 04:28 PM
Yes I sometimes feel like I should bring a resume with me on a meet and greet.. my dating history my employment history my financial records.. what side of the bed I sleep on.. how much liquor I drink.. how much taxes I pay.. do I go to church do I believe in God... do I have pets do I have kids.. how often I visit my parents and grandparents..omg. have I ever stole a chocolate bar from a corner store... did I look over the person's shoulder in front of me at school copying down the answers to a test.. how much do you really need to reveal to somebody..?

RustyKitty's photo
Tue 12/01/15 10:03 PM

Yes I sometimes feel like I should bring a resume with me on a meet and greet.. my dating history my employment history my financial records.. what side of the bed I sleep on.. how much liquor I drink.. how much taxes I pay.. do I go to church do I believe in God... do I have pets do I have kids.. how often I visit my parents and grandparents..omg. have I ever stole a chocolate bar from a corner store... did I look over the person's shoulder in front of me at school copying down the answers to a test.. how much do you really need to reveal to somebody..?

I guess the meet'n greet is like a job application somewhat..seeing if your right for the 'position', lol

no photo
Wed 12/02/15 01:05 AM
Edited by SassyEuro2 on Wed 12/02/15 01:22 AM
Most people say .. They want the truth..

You can't handle the truth! http://youtu.be/MMzd40i8TfA/

But what they really want..

Little lies: http://youtu.be/rcjpags7JT8/

So don't put yourself out there with the (entire) truth. And don't do it so quickly.
It takes time to know people & that can only be done in person (real life).
I live by the saying, "Everything isn't for everybody"...(but I add) They just think it is ..hhaa..

Read the : "Onion metaphor"

Social penetration theory - http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_penetration_theory/ * Lots on this this 1973 *



IgorFrankensteen's photo
Sat 12/05/15 11:52 AM

Most people say .. They want the truth..

You can't handle the truth! http://youtu.be/MMzd40i8TfA/

But what they really want..

Little lies: http://youtu.be/rcjpags7JT8/

So don't put yourself out there with the (entire) truth. And don't do it so quickly.
It takes time to know people & that can only be done in person (real life).
I live by the saying, "Everything isn't for everybody"...(but I add) They just think it is ..hhaa..

Read the : "Onion metaphor"

Social penetration theory - http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_penetration_theory/ * Lots on this this 1973 *





The Social Penetration Theory link doesn't work, but I think I get the gist of what you're saying. And I agree.

It's been especially interesting and entertaining to me over the years, to notice how complicated and nuanced it can be, to "reveal information" to someone as a part of building a relationship.

Timing is huge. You might want to jump the other person's bones the moment you first see them, but if you say so to them too early or too late, you are likely to find that they are put off by you, even if they had a moment when they too wanted to jump YOUR bones.

The ORDER you reveal things is big, too. And a significant part of why, is due to large cultural influences, which provide us all with a sort of framework or hierarchy of information, which, if someone ignores it, will trigger us to unconsciously conclude that they aren't from our comfort zone.

PacificStar48's photo
Sat 12/05/15 01:32 PM

“"the more i reveal about myself to women, the more they wanna judge me, not stereotyping women" but isn't that a fact...Guys!!!!! ”.


That may be true on a dating site or in the dating process because that is the nature of the context.

Also when you put yourself out there in and international context where what might be very acceptable in your culture will not fly in all. Doesn't mean either culture is all bad or all good just that they are different. What is local may work very well for the context in which people live but be a miserable Failure in another; culture shock.

In a predominantly westernized culture like this dating site a barely dry behind the ears middle thirties man pontificating philosophy and males are superior and the women who don't buy into are defective is going to be shot down like a turkey on Thanksgiving by both genders because you insult them both. It is not just the females and most of the males even if they occasionally feel "put upon" by women are going to jump up and commit social suicide saying "You the man; bro. ^5".

Maybe in a Middle Eastern or a poorer country where even owning a computer still puts you in the leadership minority you are all that and a bag of chips. Well maybe a bag of chips. Here you often tie the rope around your own neck.

But if you feel people are judging you unfairly as a bag of cow chips then maybe you need to adapt at least somewhat to the local culture when you see you are stepping into offensive behaviors and your reception might warm.

I GUARANTEE you are not going to change this culture. They will tolerate you for a while then eventually they will give up on trying to teach you anything and just laugh at you or worse ignore you completely. If you are feeling the freeze out already then you probably want to take note that your chances are numbered and not waste them.

BUT Don't kid yourself when I travel and or go into certain groups I adjust my demeanor and build allegiances and earn the grace to be more my own person. I don't see that as selling out as much as learning to bloom in all kinds of environments. And paying my dues.

I get at your age that you think you have already done more than enough of that, but here, you are still not a lot more than an adolescent. If you choose to keep acting like one whining then it is called falling on your own face.