Topic: Moving in Together....
no photo
Wed 04/13/16 04:12 PM
I would say wait at least one year before you even start to discuss moving in together. Of course it is different for every couple.

Kathyzee's photo
Wed 04/13/16 04:24 PM

without rings and contract BAD IDEA FOR THE GIRL....THE GIRL IS THE PRIZE NOT

THE GUY....MAKE THE BOY EARN THE COOKIE......
I agree with your thoughts on this topic. I've being divorced now for nearly 8yrs. Had two long term relationship since then. And both ended due to the fact I did not want us "just" moving in together. Long story short. I wanted more, they weren't ready r didn't want that kind of comment. I move on cuz I didn't want to be just someone's forever gf. I know marriage is not a "must" for some ppl. Although for me it is a "must" before I would ever move in with someone. Different strokes for different folks I guess.....bigsmile

no photo
Wed 04/13/16 04:46 PM

I would say wait at least one year before you even start to discuss moving in together. Of course it is different for every couple.


least one year seems the norm here :smile:

no photo
Wed 04/13/16 04:48 PM


without rings and contract BAD IDEA FOR THE GIRL....THE GIRL IS THE PRIZE NOT

THE GUY....MAKE THE BOY EARN THE COOKIE......
I agree with your thoughts on this topic. I've being divorced now for nearly 8yrs. Had two long term relationship since then. And both ended due to the fact I did not want us "just" moving in together. Long story short. I wanted more, they weren't ready r didn't want that kind of comment. I move on cuz I didn't want to be just someone's forever gf. I know marriage is not a "must" for some ppl. Although for me it is a "must" before I would ever move in with someone. Different strokes for different folks I guess.....bigsmile


In the end everyone has their own feelings and wants on this subject. You have to go with your own feelings on it happy

PacificStar48's photo
Wed 04/13/16 04:54 PM
I don't think it is as much a gender thing if pregnancy is out of the picture but if you can be saddled with the first or another kid by living with someone then the time to get into it should be equal to how long it would take you to get out of it. That is about twenty five years with a kid.

One can try to be politically correct and blah blah blah about how pregnancy is not a disability but get real with many people pregnancy equals major physical issues and many weeks and sometimes months where the mother can not work to sustain herself and child support is only as dependable as the person who wants to pay it.

On both sides of the fence I would be thinking seriously about education and job skills. What you are willing to do when you are young and dumb or at least strong is a lot different in being stuck doing a crappy job with no education because you can't afford to stop working to support your "family formal or informal.

And you have to see how your family is going to react. If you put your family in the position to try to negotiate your live in relationship you can't really expect them not to have avested interest if you end up a co-parent with someone or they get attached and are not that eager for you to break up and move back home.

And you can put your name on stuff, keep seperate accounts, and so on but when you live with someone you co-mingle funds and nothing poisons something as when yours, theirs, and "ours" is not clearly defined going in.

The courts are not going to bail your behind out if the division of finances it unequal which happens more often than anyone wants to acknowledge.

If your partner becomes your punisher they can do a lot of damage to your future finances, health, and relationships if they choose to. And if you have a kid all bets are off if you think when push comes to shove that it will be fair. More parents end up looseing coustody and or the relationship they have with theri kids shacking up than just about any other way besides criminal behavior.

So yea put some ground rules in writeing and go it to it with eyes wide open. AND TAKE YOUR TIME. Work into it. Try a vacation together and rent something month to month you can get out of easy even if it is less "comfortable'.


SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Wed 04/13/16 04:58 PM



without rings and contract BAD IDEA FOR THE GIRL....THE GIRL IS THE PRIZE NOT

THE GUY....MAKE THE BOY EARN THE COOKIE......

Oh yes, the ring. That too. Doesn't have to be a wedding ring (right away), but if the next Mr Crystal doesn't buy me a ring, no way there's going to be any moving in together. More like he'll be moving out. Out of my life.



I have a small plastic key ring. Would that do?:smile:

Nope. I never have been very demanding, like some girls would insist on diamonds. Diamonds never interested me much and they still don't. But if I make another commitment, I'm going to assume -and hope- it's the last one this life, a lasting one, so the ring better be bloody good!

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Wed 04/13/16 05:01 PM
Edited by SparklingCrystal 💖💎 on Wed 04/13/16 04:57 PM


without rings and contract BAD IDEA FOR THE GIRL....THE GIRL IS THE PRIZE NOT

THE GUY....MAKE THE BOY EARN THE COOKIE......
I agree with your thoughts on this topic. I've being divorced now for nearly 8yrs. Had two long term relationship since then. And both ended due to the fact I did not want us "just" moving in together. Long story short. I wanted more, they weren't ready r didn't want that kind of comment. I move on cuz I didn't want to be just someone's forever gf. I know marriage is not a "must" for some ppl. Although for me it is a "must" before I would ever move in with someone. Different strokes for different folks I guess.....bigsmile

Yeah I feel that way too. I also would want to get married. Which will be a problem, cos most men don't want to get married anymore.
I don't really get why not. I think they somehow never get over their previous relationship/marriage and fear losing their freedom if they get married again? To me it's about a real commitment, and if a guy can't handle that or isn't willing to make such a commitment, he's not for me.
I want to be the wife of the guy I love, and not like you say his forever girlfriend.
.
.
.

Goofball73's photo
Wed 04/13/16 05:37 PM
I say you do like the 90 day same as cash thing.....you and your bf/gf make it to 90 days then consider it. If not....it's like same as cash....you move along. :tongue: laugh

no photo
Wed 04/13/16 05:55 PM

I don't think it is as much a gender thing if pregnancy is out of the picture but if you can be saddled with the first or another kid by living with someone then the time to get into it should be equal to how long it would take you to get out of it. That is about twenty five years with a kid.

One can try to be politically correct and blah blah blah about how pregnancy is not a disability but get real with many people pregnancy equals major physical issues and many weeks and sometimes months where the mother can not work to sustain herself and child support is only as dependable as the person who wants to pay it.

On both sides of the fence I would be thinking seriously about education and job skills. What you are willing to do when you are young and dumb or at least strong is a lot different in being stuck doing a crappy job with no education because you can't afford to stop working to support your "family formal or informal.

And you have to see how your family is going to react. If you put your family in the position to try to negotiate your live in relationship you can't really expect them not to have avested interest if you end up a co-parent with someone or they get attached and are not that eager for you to break up and move back home.

And you can put your name on stuff, keep seperate accounts, and so on but when you live with someone you co-mingle funds and nothing poisons something as when yours, theirs, and "ours" is not clearly defined going in.

The courts are not going to bail your behind out if the division of finances it unequal which happens more often than anyone wants to acknowledge.

If your partner becomes your punisher they can do a lot of damage to your future finances, health, and relationships if they choose to. And if you have a kid all bets are off if you think when push comes to shove that it will be fair. More parents end up looseing coustody and or the relationship they have with theri kids shacking up than just about any other way besides criminal behavior.

So yea put some ground rules in writeing and go it to it with eyes wide open. AND TAKE YOUR TIME. Work into it. Try a vacation together and rent something month to month you can get out of easy even if it is less "comfortable'.




Thank you for the great reply:smile:

no photo
Wed 04/13/16 05:56 PM

I say you do like the 90 day same as cash thing.....you and your bf/gf make it to 90 days then consider it. If not....it's like same as cash....you move along. :tongue: laugh



Would that come with lasting interest?waving

no photo
Wed 04/13/16 05:56 PM




without rings and contract BAD IDEA FOR THE GIRL....THE GIRL IS THE PRIZE NOT

THE GUY....MAKE THE BOY EARN THE COOKIE......

Oh yes, the ring. That too. Doesn't have to be a wedding ring (right away), but if the next Mr Crystal doesn't buy me a ring, no way there's going to be any moving in together. More like he'll be moving out. Out of my life.



I have a small plastic key ring. Would that do?:smile:

Nope. I never have been very demanding, like some girls would insist on diamonds. Diamonds never interested me much and they still don't. But if I make another commitment, I'm going to assume -and hope- it's the last one this life, a lasting one, so the ring better be bloody good!


You cannot shoot me for trying :banana: :banana:

Goofball73's photo
Wed 04/13/16 06:07 PM


I say you do like the 90 day same as cash thing.....you and your bf/gf make it to 90 days then consider it. If not....it's like same as cash....you move along. :tongue: laugh



Would that come with lasting interest?waving



Just as good as a Wal Mart guarantee.

BHawkins's photo
Wed 04/13/16 06:31 PM
When SHE brings it up or starts hinting ;-)

SitkaRains's photo
Wed 04/13/16 06:45 PM

I say you do like the 90 day same as cash thing.....you and your bf/gf make it to 90 days then consider it. If not....it's like same as cash....you move along. :tongue: laugh

I think 90 days way to soon Goof... Nah..
More like at least a couple of years...rofl...
Then as Star stated keep finances separate, etc...

Robxbox73's photo
Wed 04/13/16 06:51 PM
Hi Sitka Rains, I was just saying were is SitkaRains? Hope you are well.

Robxbox73's photo
Wed 04/13/16 06:51 PM
Edited by Robxbox73 on Wed 04/13/16 07:22 PM
Hi Sitka Rains, I was just saying were is SitkaRains? Hope you are well.

no photo
Wed 04/13/16 06:51 PM



I say you do like the 90 day same as cash thing.....you and your bf/gf make it to 90 days then consider it. If not....it's like same as cash....you move along. :tongue: laugh



Would that come with lasting interest?waving



Just as good as a Wal Mart guarantee.



I will take two with an asperin :smile:

SitkaRains's photo
Wed 04/13/16 06:54 PM

Hi Sitka Rains, I was just saying were is SitkaRains? Hope you are well.

Hey I am well thank you for missing me that brings a smile to my face.
A girl always wants to be missed lol

no photo
Wed 04/13/16 06:57 PM

When SHE brings it up or starts hinting ;-)


If she does there is no guarantees that go along with it. indifferent

Ksh55's photo
Wed 04/13/16 07:05 PM
Depends on your age, how strong the connection and chemistry is and how well you have openly communicated with each other. I think if you have to ask this question you're not ready yet and need more time. Whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck and a happy ending.