EyeAmYourHost30,

I know when I'm in a relationship, I do the spicing. toes & finger sucking, the pouring syrup down her back, placing ice cube to melt down her body & ect. See, I was always selfish with my baby, I don't want to put her in a position where I give another man & these days other women any thoughts impure lust over my women when I'm in a relationship. I guess that's a conversation among a couple to see where the boundaries begin & where they end. So to answer my own question no that's stuff is good when you single and you don't have to worry about pissing your lover off and possibly start a heated fight. Now if I'm single like I'm now then no much porn watcher but if a honey want to lap dance me, well.......that might can happen....lol.

Good Evening My Crazy, Sexy, & Cool folks of m2, it's about time we seen the sun today after a weekend rain wash out, but never less I'm here to post. okay shots out to all who responded to my last two mega hit post forums, that's what I'm saying,giving me feedback and I even joked a little. But on a high scale we did exposed the no-brainers. Okay, I want to talk about an issue that nobody wants to admit to it but being done everyday. America, I give you a scenario and you guys give me a hot cup of my own tea on this one. Let's say you want to spice up your relationship so you buy some soft porn first, because you have to baby step it at first to lead to the hardcore stuff. Would you watch it with your mate? or it's your birthday & your spouse take you to a strip club. Would you allow your woman/man to receive a lap dance from a stripper? Or Do you opposed the porn & the strip clubs, is that still cheating? Before you comment let's define cheating. Cheating can come in all forms of definition. it really all depends on the person. But in this case it's when you lust or use a desire to someone other than you lover , at least just for that second, you have a desire of what you seeing to me that's still cheating. But I want to hear from you, is porn watching & the strip clubs consider cheating? I want to hear from those who support porn & those who disapprove? Let's have fun with this one.....spill the beans, can't wait to hear from you!

That's like the circuses or fair . Enter with your money and wits...leave with. Neither.

Greeneyes148,

Hi, well good for you.....

is it a moral issue or you just the consciousness that goes along with that lifestyle? like disease, adultery or even drama in some cases. I like your response. keep posting

Manturkey1,

Oh Okay....that's a different way of looking at it....

I still go by the basic idea that the definition of cheating can't be separated from the people. So, whatever your mate thinks is cheating, is cheating as far as that relationship goes.

logically, what results from that is, that if you think it's NOT cheating to go to strip clubs or whatever, and your mate thinks it is, that means that you two have incompatible cheating standards.

If you lie (omission, exaggeration, deception, etc.) about it, lie about what it means to you, or try to hide it from your partner...it's cheating.


Then I'd talk to them and get their input and ideas.


That makes it seem like I'm manipulating them with ulterior motives, and ultimately not communicating with them.

That would make me an a-hole and/or in a crappy relationship.

Otherwise I'm in collusion with them and they want to baby step it into more hardcore stuff. Which means they don't have the experience or personality that would have driven them long before they met me to watch hardcore porn.
Which would make getting them to watch it ultimately trying to change them.

Am I trying to change them to suit my desires?
Are they trying to change to make me happy because they just don't want me to leave, but really don't want to do this?


If I bought it for them to watch, why wouldn't I watch it with them?
That seems to be like "here honey, I bought you a sweater, but I really don't ever want to see you wear it. You can go in the closet and shut the door and wear it by yourself."


I'd probably break up with her.
There is absolutely nothing positive about strip clubs.
If she was a frequenter of strip clubs before I met her, I wouldn't have started dating her. The relationship wouldn't last long enough to get to a point of needing additional spice.


"Allow?"
If that's how she wants to waste her money that's her problem.
If it's money I earned then I wouldn't "allow" her to use it for a lapdance.


I oppose the idea that porn and strip clubs can be a way to spice up a healthy relationship between two people, or make a relationship healthy.


If your partner knows about it, accepts or participates in it being used/done, then it's not "cheating."


That's a bad definition.
Simply because of the way the human body works.
After you hit puberty, once your senses encounter someone who fits within certain ratios and patterns and ideals, they are considered a desirable potential mate, and that turns on the "lust" faucet of hormones.
Being in love doesn't change that. Being in love, being in a relationship simply induces production of some chemicals that slightly offset the lust hormones, but mostly has built automatic associations that lead to thoughts of your partner more so than a random stranger.
Man or woman (although women have different defenses against lust hormones affecting their brain so their brain's reaction to their body's physiological preparation for sex is different than a guys).

IOW if you cut onions, your eyes tear up.
You sneeze, your eyes close.
If you smell food, you salivate.
If you swallow something, your stomach produces acid.
There's no control.
If you encounter a potential mate, you hormone up.
Hormones being triggered propagate lustful thoughts.
Directly in men, more indirectly in women.
It's a biological process.
They mean nothing unless you act them upon another person.

If you act them upon another person, and your partner is there, your partner is participating, your partner is paying for it, your partner knows about it and doesn't do anything, it's not cheating unless your partner is psychotic.

It would be little different than "hi honey, I brought home another woman to blow you. I ate her out in the car. Oh cool she's doing you...did you like that? Great. You horrible f'ing cheater! I can't believe you did that! You're a cheater! A dirty filthy cheater!"

Other than that,

relationships involve 2 people.
What one considers cheating, the other might not.
It's important to communicate. That leads to figuring it out.
Many times you know what the other person will think of your behavior.
If you do something you don't think is cheating, but they do?
It really doesn't matter that you don't think it's cheating or that your opinion is justified.
They are going to choose to behave (like dump you) based on their own ideas and opinions and justifications, not yours.

Showgirls Cabaret, Port Gibson MS...On the road to the Grand Gulf Nuclear Power Station....nicknamed Nukies, where it was rumored the girls had three boobs...although, I only ever saw two per girl.
Spent many a night there with the fellas back in the day... It's burned down now...prime country azz strip club....but I was single.
Similar to what Igor said, if it's cool with your girl, it's a go...if it's not, dont go sneaking around dropping singles where they don't belong

And sadly, I've never made it to the creme de la crème of Southern rural strip clubs...Illusions in Woodville MS....home of the one legged stripper.....place is somewhat legendary....and my strip club days are behind me so I'll have to just dream lol

I've never been attracted to strip clubs it's just never been my style & as for porn i check it out occasionally but haven't watched any in a very long time

Strip clubs? meh, most of the time ya can't take any of it home with ya so what's the point?

The way I figure it, if ya got a girl, why the heck are ya going to strip clubs and looking at porn ?????

Sorry, can't help you on this one ether. You see just like your previous post about best dates, I fear that I have not, nor will ever have an experience that I could use to give me enough insight to give you a good response. I also find porn/strip clubs very depressing because I know deep down inside that even if I had a chance to be with an attractive women she wouldn't stay with me for very long (trust me you don't want to know the "why").

As for the question "is it cheating?" I feel all humans are capable of cheating and all those who do always feel that they will have a legitimate reason for doing so. I have always sided with the bible on this one in the respects that any time you want something that's not yours it's lust, which goes for people or property. I personally would never because not only don't I have anything to cheat on but I lack the drive to do so. If I don't own it or can't obtain it without hurting someone ether physically or emotionally I don't need it.

Topic: " Watching Porn Vs The Strip Club...Is It Cheating?

It would be insulting to the woman you are dating.

I have no issues with porn.
It does exactly what it is meant to do.

It works for me too, only I don't need it
so I think maybe that is why women in general
don't bother..we have imaginations :-)

If my man comes home horny from a strip
club that is what it is supposed to do.

Lucky me.

^^^^ This.
Apart from that, the frequency it would happen, albeit stripclub or porn. We don't have the phenomena stripclub like you do over there, and to be honest, I'm glad about that. I would not appreciate my man hanging out in stripclubs.

As for the rest it depends on how the relationship is working out. If our sex life is great, why would there be a need to watch porn/go to stripclubs?
If our sex life is not so great and he does either or both, and does nothing to better our relationship and sex life ... well, I'm not going to be happy either.

It just all depends. My ex used to always secretly watch porn, talked to and flirted with other women online -with or without cam-, cheated on me too, so the whole "sneaking around watching porn" thing has left a bad taste in my mouth.

to me, no more than watching a murder mystery is aiding and abetting a murder


..lol

its all imagination,,which people are going to have and use


now how big a part of their life it is,, can definitely present a problem

IgorFrankensteen,

Hi Buddy , well you brought a point that I mention in the beginning of my post, where I say it depend on ones perception of cheating. Look at us two minds think a like...... like I mention it all ones thinking on what's cheating. I say yes because you lusting at least in your mind about what's in your face. now, I no saying you don't love your mate but visual cheating is no different that the actual , you get me?

ReberAcher,

Hello , welcome oh , you like the risqué life style.....that's a first , somebody admits he with the strip clubs......okay now how you incorporate this into your relationship? does it works?

Never said I did that during a relationship...just when single with the fellas. And I'm past that point in life now.
As for anyone in a relationship doing that sort of thing...great if both parties have no issue with it and are aware it's going on. Just dont be creepin

Ciretom,

Whoaaqa.....I thought I can type......where do I start?

well I agree to disagree. I agree communication can make a hell of a big difference in a relationship far as the porn issue. but I disagree with using it as a tool to bring your relationship. That would be just as sticky as a open sexual relationship.....that doesn't end well. I'm not saying to fantasize about another because as humans we always gonna find somebody attractive but what I am talking about is when its habitual wandering eyes.

Unknown_Romeo

Hey, I read your response and you not alone, at one time before my faith I did catch a few flicks but now it's not my cup of tea. I rather do the do the watch the watch......lol