I agree, balance is very important!

I dont know how well this principle operates in reality green eyes. From what I see, there are many people who are capable of compartmentalising their lives. And just because someone may be committed and hardworking careerwise, , this may not translate into them being more committed relationshipwise or familywise. If you are referring to a work ethic impacting heavily on one's commitment to financial responsibilties , then I can see that co relation better than the relationship between one's work ethic and their emitional commitment to their mate or kids

When my grandmother received an excessively high water bill, it became clear she had a plumbing leak. It took me several hours digging, cutting open her porch floor, more digging, and some pipe replacement to fix the problem. Was my ability and willingness to do that work for her, of any less value than the services of a professional plumber? Was it the difficulty of the task, the amount of time it took, or my availability and ability that determines the value of my effort?

I don't gauge my self worth or my value to society or a romantic partner, on how many hours I work, or how much money my efforts generate.

This is a sensitive subject for me right now. I was recently rejected by a woman who found me attractive, and liked many of my qualities... but couldn't accept my employment status.

I agree with lu_rosemary. I want some semblance of equal effort and equal contribution from a romantic partner. If I don't have the funds for something, I do without. I think the gal who rejected me isn't willing to do without things she can't afford, and is looking for a man to be her financier.

In and of itself, not very.
But I tend to conceptualize or value a "job" in its entirety.
Cost vs. time vs. quality vs. ethics vs. benefit vs. satisfaction, rather than just "hard work."

IMO anyone can work hard. It doesn't mean much if it's not really accomplishing much or ultimately leads to a deficit somewhere.

I prefer the idea "work smarter, not harder."


Only in job interviews if that's what the interviewer seems to want to hear.

I agree with your last statement, but I think that's mostly the case when women have been in LTR(s) before. I think this is less the case in a first relationship. More of a choice then, not feeling that pressure so much.
Just look at how many men state "I'm not ever going to provide for another woman again!"
Which is based on hurt from the past, it's a natural instinct of the healthy masculine to want to provide and protect.

It's also a masculine trade to need status, and thus a job/career, money etc. in order to feel good. Men need that for their ego (not the bad variety of "ego" mind you.)

Women get their ego needs fulfilled by different things. If a woman is overly 'difficult' concerning job etc. she's more living from her masculine side.
A woman with a healthy balance in feminine/masculine will put her own career on hold for a family or whatever if need be, without feeling this is a problem.
For a man this is different. Cos we're wired differently.

I think this is why men state "hard working man", thinking we value that statement as much as they themselves do?
To me it means he's likely a workaholic, or not confident. If he makes enough to make ends meet, is happy about his work, career and status, why else would he have to make that statement?
Meaning that if a man wants to be appealing to me, that argument works against him. I want neither a workaholic, nor a not-confident man.

I do want my man to have a job. For reasons mentioned above, also what GreenEyes said. It tells something about his personality.
And that his masculine energy is likely healthy and balanced. Both is what I'm looking for in a man.

I work hard in bed so you ladies should appreciate that

Hard working men thoughts:

Generally men are taught that their individual success and that of their families is based solely on their individual displays of stoicism and strength, both mentally and physically.

It's as if men think they have some crazy super-power to control everything; and they believe the more energy they exert demonstrating strength, the more control of others they are entitled to.

For example, a man that works with their hands, or one that trades stocks for a living takes great pride in working insane amounts of time in under insane conditions. Men believe this kind of behaviour makes them stronger and entitles them to pretty much rule the world by force.

But the reality is that this kind of thinking not only destroys masculinity, but it damages everything and everyone in its proximity. It creates a toxic masculinity that hurts men. Men by design, are more fluid in expression and built to experience more than the cartoonish notion of gender and masculinity that pervades our culture.

It's just spiele, talk, hot air, everyone put stuff on their profiles to make them sound good and attractive, but it's all in vain anyway, because if someone doesn't like the look of you, judged by one picture then it all becomes irrelevant anyway.

Im nice very hard working have my own cleaning company

I can't speak for every man, but I put my work ethic up right up there along with integrity and character. It's something my parents taught me, and it's helped me through my whole adult life. It definitely helped in the military - being an early riser was no problem for me.

That being said, work can't be your everything. An older friend gave me some great advice, early on in my career: "sometimes you have to put family first."

I think some me struggle with being lazy, and some men struggle with putting too much of themselves into their work. It can be difficult to find a happy medium.

I get up and go to work every day, but I really enjoy my time off, too.

Great question, BTW.

So I noticed that in many male profiles, even the really short ones, men make it a point of stating that they are hardworking.

In retrospect, I realised that I never really yearned for that quality in a man. I certainly never wanted a lazy man but for me , it was always enough for him to work at least enough to pay his portion of the bills.

But Ive been thinking ...

How important is it for other women that a man be hard working?

And for the men, how much do you value that attribute of working hard in yourself?

Is it one of the top 3 qualities that you pride yourself on personally?

I think a more important question in the interest of gender equality and all is, how important for men is it that women be hardworking. Oh wait, guys are lucky to even get a reply from a girl, we can't be that picky, lol..

Nothing wrong with a hard working man, but you have to think about what you are working for. Do you ever relax? Take time and look around you.

Well Giantowl, to be fair many people don't even fill out their profile here, so all that's left to judge are the pics. Its not enough for me, but you are right. For some people the pic is all that matters

Nothing wrong with a hard working man, but you have to think about what you are working for. Do you ever relax? Take time and look around you.

Hi Peggy


"Work to live" not "Live to work"

I'd give it all up this work BS... The only thing I'd want to work on is what to eat that day.

AND... I need a good woman so I can work HER like part time job. Nice and easy