100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: Hard Working Men | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
When my grandmother received an excessively high water bill, it became clear she had a plumbing leak. It took me several hours digging, cutting open her porch floor, more digging, and some pipe replacement to fix the problem. Was my ability and willingness to do that work for her, of any less value than the services of a professional plumber? Was it the difficulty of the task, the amount of time it took, or my availability and ability that determines the value of my effort? I don't gauge my self worth or my value to society or a romantic partner, on how many hours I work, or how much money my efforts generate. This is a sensitive subject for me right now. I was recently rejected by a woman who found me attractive, and liked many of my qualities... but couldn't accept my employment status. I agree with lu_rosemary. I want some semblance of equal effort and equal contribution from a romantic partner. If I don't have the funds for something, I do without. I think the gal who rejected me isn't willing to do without things she can't afford, and is looking for a man to be her financier. I do agree with you technovative that a person's worth should not be determined by the hours they work or the salary they work for, but when it comes to relationships , the issue of preference is a dealbreaker for most people, and sometimes those preferences are based on seemingly superficial criteria. Eg. If a man chooses one woman over another because he deemed one more attractive than the other, some would consider it a superficial decision and others would consider it a preference. If a woman chooses one man over another because he is more financially viable than another,some may call her superficial, and others may say it is her preference. And to be honest, I think you could legitimately argue a case for superficiality OR a case for preference in both of the scenarios above. But in reality, most people will go with their preferences when it comes to relationships whether its based on looks, money or education. That being said, what you went through was less than pleasant. You are a great guy and I hope you find someone compatible and wonderful as you    I would be honored to have the good fortune of miss lu-rosemary agreeing with you, Kiwi girl. Thanks for caring.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It's just spiele, talk, hot air, everyone put stuff on their profiles to make them sound good and attractive, but it's all in vain anyway, because if someone doesn't like the look of you, judged by one picture then it all becomes irrelevant anyway. Well Giantowl, to be fair many people don't even fill out their profile here, so all that's left to judge are the pics. Its not enough for me, but you are right. For some people the pic is all that matters  That's probably because they are all working hard and don't have time or energy to do it  Good one giantowl! well in! Makes me laugh when i hear people bragging about working 79 hours a week etc and earning bucketloads, but for what? to cremate with your body? I guess some argue that they do it so their families will be taken care of, long after they depart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It's just spiele, talk, hot air, everyone put stuff on their profiles to make them sound good and attractive, but it's all in vain anyway, because if someone doesn't like the look of you, judged by one picture then it all becomes irrelevant anyway. Well Giantowl, to be fair many people don't even fill out their profile here, so all that's left to judge are the pics. Its not enough for me, but you are right. For some people the pic is all that matters That's probably because they are all working hard and don't have time or energy to do it Good one giantowl! well in! Makes me laugh when i hear people bragging about working 79 hours a week etc and earning bucketloads, but for what? to cremate with your body? I guess some argue that they do it so their families will be taken care of, long after they depart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
When my grandmother received an excessively high water bill, it became clear she had a plumbing leak. It took me several hours digging, cutting open her porch floor, more digging, and some pipe replacement to fix the problem. Was my ability and willingness to do that work for her, of any less value than the services of a professional plumber? Was it the difficulty of the task, the amount of time it took, or my availability and ability that determines the value of my effort? I don't gauge my self worth or my value to society or a romantic partner, on how many hours I work, or how much money my efforts generate. This is a sensitive subject for me right now. I was recently rejected by a woman who found me attractive, and liked many of my qualities... but couldn't accept my employment status. I agree with lu_rosemary. I want some semblance of equal effort and equal contribution from a romantic partner. If I don't have the funds for something, I do without. I think the gal who rejected me isn't willing to do without things she can't afford, and is looking for a man to be her financier. I do agree with you technovative that a person's worth should not be determined by the hours they work or the salary they work for, but when it comes to relationships , the issue of preference is a dealbreaker for most people, and sometimes those preferences are based on seemingly superficial criteria. Eg. If a man chooses one woman over another because he deemed one more attractive than the other, some would consider it a superficial decision and others would consider it a preference. If a woman chooses one man over another because he is more financially viable than another,some may call her superficial, and others may say it is her preference. And to be honest, I think you could legitimately argue a case for superficiality OR a case for preference in both of the scenarios above. But in reality, most people will go with their preferences when it comes to relationships whether its based on looks, money or education. That being said, what you went through was less than pleasant. You are a great guy and I hope you find someone compatible and wonderful as you As always, I appreciate your support my friend.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The only time I witness people talking like that about how hard working they are, is when they are reacting to some perceived criticism. Sometimes it's political, sometimes it's more personal ( as in dating situations).
I always figure that people put stuff like that in, when they've had problems related to it somehow. With women, they might have been accused of looking for a guy as a meal ticket (justified or not), or worry that they WILL be so criticized. With guys, the same basic thing. They have, or fear they will be criticized or rejected for not working hard enough. Working hard has a mixed social status with males especially. You hear or read the "work smarter, not harder" admonition often, and it's not always spoken for friendly reasons. Lots of males put others down, by saying that the harder worker is a fool, or has lower social status. The "smart" guy, is sometimes said to be the one who figured out how to get the rest of us to do all the really difficult stuff, while the REAL man rakes in all the big money, doing very little. So it can be complicated. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The only time I witness people talking like that about how hard working they are, is when they are reacting to some perceived criticism. Sometimes it's political, sometimes it's more personal ( as in dating situations). I always figure that people put stuff like that in, when they've had problems related to it somehow. With women, they might have been accused of looking for a guy as a meal ticket (justified or not), or worry that they WILL be so criticized. With guys, the same basic thing. They have, or fear they will be criticized or rejected for not working hard enough. Working hard has a mixed social status with males especially. You hear or read the "work smarter, not harder" admonition often, and it's not always spoken for friendly reasons. Lots of males put others down, by saying that the harder worker is a fool, or has lower social status. The "smart" guy, is sometimes said to be the one who figured out how to get the rest of us to do all the really difficult stuff, while the REAL man rakes in all the big money, doing very little. So it can be complicated. Thats true Igor. People's attitude towards the hard working male is mixed, more so from a mals perspective, and I do agree with you ghat there is a subculture of ridicule for the men who work hards hard for their money vs the man who rakes in tge same wealth by msnioulatjng prople to do their work. But It seems that the majority of women in this thread do not consider work ethic to be a dealbreaker unless it is at tgd extrene end of the spectrum. Maybe it matters alot more to younger women who are looking for a provider for their kids |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hi John Amen to working on my meals for the day alone. Or better yet, I could hire a sexy man-servant to do it for me , and eat my meals off of his abs ! (Martin Luther King encouraged us to dream big) Good luck on finding the woman of YOUR dreams John ! That's funny, you pick lunch off his abs, I pick lunch off the small of her back  No need to hire anybody for that Peggy, I'm pretty sure Dr King was talking about something else. I see so many people living beyond their means, my neighbor has the range rover, Audi and Cadillac but they're only 2 drivers in the family... 3 kids so 3 iphones & ipads along with the monthly phone bills. Living the dream right? Poor guy is a victim of excessive consumerism, one bad luck away from total collapse. Loves his kids and wants the best for them but If he doesn't have a tight grip on his expenses, they're vulnerable and probably a little insecure about it too. Work as hard as you want, if you can't manage what you earn, it's a slippery slope, I'm weary of a partner who is constantly putting out financial fires while they work their butts off.(been there) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hi John Amen to working on my meals for the day alone. Or better yet, I could hire a sexy man-servant to do it for me , and eat my meals off of his abs ! (Martin Luther King encouraged us to dream big) Good luck on finding the woman of YOUR dreams John ! That's funny, you pick lunch off his abs, I pick lunch off the small of her back No need to hire anybody for that Peggy, I'm pretty sure Dr King was talking about something else. I see so many people living beyond their means, my neighbor has the range rover, Audi and Cadillac but they're only 2 drivers in the family... 3 kids so 3 iphones & ipads along with the monthly phone bills. Living the dream right? Poor guy is a victim of excessive consumerism, one bad luck away from total collapse. Loves his kids and wants the best for them but If he doesn't have a tight grip on his expenses, they're vulnerable and probably a little insecure about it too. Work as hard as you want, if you can't manage what you earn, it's a slippery slope, I'm weary of a partner who is constantly putting out financial fires while they work their butts off.(been there) Well said john! Part of the principle of working smart in my opniin is manage what you work for wisely ;) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hi John Amen to working on my meals for the day alone. Or better yet, I could hire a sexy man-servant to do it for me , and eat my meals off of his abs ! (Martin Luther King encouraged us to dream big) Good luck on finding the woman of YOUR dreams John ! That's funny, you pick lunch off his abs, I pick lunch off the small of her back No need to hire anybody for that Peggy, I'm pretty sure Dr King was talking about something else. I see so many people living beyond their means, my neighbor has the range rover, Audi and Cadillac but they're only 2 drivers in the family... 3 kids so 3 iphones & ipads along with the monthly phone bills. Living the dream right? Poor guy is a victim of excessive consumerism, one bad luck away from total collapse. Loves his kids and wants the best for them but If he doesn't have a tight grip on his expenses, they're vulnerable and probably a little insecure about it too. Work as hard as you want, if you can't manage what you earn, it's a slippery slope, I'm weary of a partner who is constantly putting out financial fires while they work their butts off.(been there) Well said john! Part of the principle of working smart in my opniin is managing what you work for wisely ;) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I think being a hard worker is a good trait, but not your main quality trait and certainly not your only trait
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Man was born to work. I was raised to have a strong work ethic and I will probably work long hours until my health fails me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
it's crazy isn't it?? we worked hard and we forget our health. by the time we get sick, the money that we earned just to pay the doctor bills.. *sigh*
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
hmm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
nothing wrong with a hardworking man its better than a lazy man
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Working is very important to me, it would kill me if I had to stop for say health reasons or whatever I'm also old fashioned and I know some won't agree but I see the man as the bread winner. Obviously if the woman works then great but there is no chance of a woman ever looking after me, financially I mean. Share yes, but not pay for me. I wouldn't say I work hard but I have a great sense of responsibility Remember the day when the man went to work and the little lady stayed at home tending to the house..and children.. Hmmm... maybe it's time for us men to stay at home and let the little ladies bring home the bacon..lol.. Thanks for the laugh you guys.
|
|
|
|
|
