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| Topic: keeping your options open | |
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Ok.. I say and hear this a lot..
From people that are dating casually but looking for something serious long term... Now is it appropriate well seeing somebody and getting to know them to be also seeing other people at the same time.... or as an example let's say you're seeing somebody offline right now but you keep your profile online still running... basically keeping your options open.... Some believe once you meet someone and start seeing them.. dating them casually however... you should not have your interest anywhere else. Some believe if you're just dating casually but looking for long term.. It's quite alright to keep dating other people.. keeping your options open.. Now is this a form of sitting on the fence?.. Is it unfair to be stringing the other person a long while you keep looking.. Even know you explained your position to them clearly.. and they say they're okay with that they understand... Firstly I feel a bit weird dating multiple people... but at the same time I don't want to close off any option of meeting the right person while I'm entertaining or dating what .could be the wrong person... If that makes sense? |
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If I go out with someone one or two times it is just to get to know them better. I can know more than one person at a time.
If something starts to develop then other dating stops and I tend to concentrate all on her alone. I wouldn't kill my online profiles but I may not go to the sites. If I commit to an engagement or full blown relationship then there is no need of online dating and the sites go bye-bye. I know that when I am out with someone in a dating capacity I am not looking or engaged in flirtation with anyone else. My attention is on her and us and what we are experiencing. Even if I have doubts about us I wait until I am sure before moving on. |
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If I am dating someone I like I have no desire to look elsewhere.I am a one man woman
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It's quite alright to keep dating other people.. keeping your options open.. Now is this a form of sitting on the fence? IMO, yes. Is it unfair to be stringing the other person a long while you keep looking.. IMO, only if the other people don't know about each other, if one person is hiding the fact that they're actively dating others and/or continue looking for others to date. Even know you explained your position to them clearly.. and they say they're okay with that they understand... I probably wouldn't continue to date them. If that makes sense? It makes sense. It just might not say anything positive. No matter who you ultimately "choose" to be the one, there will always be someone "better." That's why commitment matters. That's why relationships need some kind of purpose (family/support system) to survive past the first few stages of chemical bonding related to mating. |
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Edited by
RustyKitty
on
Fri 03/24/17 08:23 PM
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It would be remiss of me not to keep one eye open to other possibilities; the other eye is on the lookout for any oddities in a current relationship... (like ya know.. whadda ya mean your visa was declined?)(someone you thought had their **** together)..the 'hmmmm' factor..
Casual dating isn't being exclusive to one person .. and even if you are 'exclusive', it behooves a girl to keep her guard up. |
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someone you thought had their **** together)..the 'hmmmm' factor..
Is getting hard to find. |
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My dating method is to not get in a rush about deciding anything prematurely.
While I generally have a clear cut response in if someone has impressed me or is wasting both of our time often in the first several minutes of in person contact if the answer is it just isn't going to "take" and I try to be gracious about it but not pretend it oit |
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Because I tend to avoid long marathon dates; especially ones that are formal and expensive I have rarely had someone complain.
And I don't send mixed messages about where my feelings are at. If anything I am being pressed to reciprocate feelings that are slower to develop for me. I don't know if it is the type of men I select usually very atire |
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Because I tend to avoid long marathon dates; especially ones that are formal and expensive I have rarely had someone complain. And I don't send mixed messages about where my feelings are at. If anything I am being pressed to reciprocate feelings that are slower to develop for me. I don't know if it is the type of men I select usually very mature,secure, and decisive an know what they want; but they are also Not so desperate that of what they want isn't eventually being reciprocated from me that they won't with someone else. As far as dating more than one person; certainly. BUT and this is HUGE If an initial consensus to Court is made then I am absolutely exclusive to that person. Since I do not advertise my personal relayipnships , especially on line, few would be aware if I was dateing or courting. One thing that would immediate ly end a friendship, dating, or courting relationship would be for someone to try to monitor my private life One of the reasons I usually avoid those who need to have personal security or are public figures. Which sometimes come across my path with the work I did and now volunteer for. Growing up as a preachers brat and later an officer's wife I have had more than enough monitoring to last a life time. Lol , |
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I am a one man woman in a relationship.
However that being said, dating is just that dating. Not long term or a relationship they are totally different things. It's not like your tied down married or engaged. You can date different people at the same time. You are getting to know them. Finding out if you want to pursue things further. On a different level. But I am new to this whole dating thing some terms still confuse me as well casual dating now a days sounds like casual sex on different sites. Your either casual hooking up or casual dating. I am unclear on all the lingo. Times have changed. If you are upfront and clear your are not exclusive. You should keep your options open. There is no stringing along. It's dating unless no strings attached LOl Just kidding In my opinion unless you have decided to take relationship to next level there is no fence. Date enjoy. Ms. Right might appear. Communication is they KEY |
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Edited by
Twintidbits24
on
Sat 03/25/17 02:50 AM
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Some believe once you meet someone and start seeing them.. dating them casually however... you should not have your interest anywhere else.
************************************************************************* It depends on your convictions. Date is getting to know stage, no commitments yet so you can still find some other dates.... ************************************************************************** Some believe if you're just dating casually but looking for long term.. It's quite alright to keep dating other people.. keeping your options open.. ************************************************************************** You can always keep your options open as long as you're not engaged yet or agreed to be be in a committed relationship... *************************************************************************** Now is this a form of sitting on the fence?.. Is it unfair to be stringing the other person a long while you keep looking.. Even know you explained your position to them clearly.. and they say they're okay with that they understand... *************************************************************************** Nope, coz if you have already explained yourself from the start, was understood, then no guilt on your side and no expectations as well, but in this case it would only mean that she is not the one for you and she has also the choice to date others as well or stop dating you .....It is a Mutual Understanding... *************************************************************************** Firstly I feel a bit weird dating multiple people... but at the same time I don't want to close off any option of meeting the right person while I'm entertaining or dating what .could be the wrong person... If that makes sense? *************************************************************************** It makes a whole lot of sense...You cannot know a person's true character on several dates, so dating is just knowing about each other, no commitments yet so you're still free to choose whom to be with, no guilt feelings and just be honest with yourself if you do feel attracted and if there is possibility that you both could get along well, if not, say your goodbye or just switch it to friendship if you still want to keep in touch... It is better to be honest and express your feelings early so you both could move on and make other plans in your lives... |
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Sat 03/25/17 04:59 AM
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There is no right or wrong here, just whatever the couple in question can agree or negotiate upon, but mutual honest and open communication is crucial
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Now is this a form of sitting on the fence?.. Is it unfair to be stringing the other person a long while you keep looking.. Even know you explained your position to them clearly.. and they say they're okay with that they understand... Yes, it is unfair. This is actually taking advantage of the other person. The other person may accept your terms just because it is the only way to remain next to you and still may have some expectations that you will change yourself towards her/him in time. Firstly I feel a bit weird dating multiple people... but at the same time I don't want to close off any option of meeting the right person while I'm entertaining or dating what .could be the wrong person... If that makes sense? Yes, it makes sense. But it also shows your own insecurity and discontentment about making your choices. You don't have to bite all apples to decide which one you will choose to eat up. For me, if I meet a man I'm interested in enough to go dating with him or see any possibilities for common future, I loose interest to all others. This is the way how I see it, which is not necessarily the right way. So, no offence! |
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The way I understand the OP.
Unless the couple has decided to be mutually exclusive in dating each other. Then both people may have their options open to date other people. I don't see why this is such a hard concept to understand. |
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For me, if I meet a man I'm interested in enough to go dating with him or see any possibilities for common future, I loose interest to all others. This is the way how I see it, which is not necessarily the right way. So, no offence! Same here, if he has shown interest in forming a relationship with me and I start dating him, then I loose interest in others. To each is own, but personally I am a one man woman and it just doesn't feel right to me to date more than one at a time. I have tried in the past and found it's not for me. |
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keep your option open?? easy for those who is not seriously inlove.. i did deal with the person who "keeps his option open" and know what? it sucks.. it was cheating..
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Edited by
no1phD
on
Sat 03/25/17 02:27 PM
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Now is this a form of sitting on the fence?.. Is it unfair to be stringing the other person a long while you keep looking.. Even know you explained your position to them clearly.. and they say they're okay with that they understand... Yes, it is unfair. This is actually taking advantage of the other person. The other person may accept your terms just because it is the only way to remain next to you and still may have some expectations that you will change yourself towards her/him in time. Firstly I feel a bit weird dating multiple people... but at the same time I don't want to close off any option of meeting the right person while I'm entertaining or dating what .could be the wrong person... If that makes sense? Yes, it makes sense. But it also shows your own insecurity and discontentment about making your choices. You don't have to bite all apples to decide which one you will choose to eat up. For me, if I meet a man I'm interested in enough to go dating with him or see any possibilities for common future, I loose interest to all others. This is the way how I see it, which is not necessarily the right way. So, no offence! Some of this takes time to come to surface... all I'm saying is I don't want to close out the option.. of meeting somebody that may not have these issues well I'm figuring out what issues you may have... but definitely if I'm seeing somebody they have my full attention... but I'm not going to say no to somebody if they asked me out for a drink.. that's what I mean by keeping your options open.. |
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no.. that would be dead wrong to do and a insult to the lady.
if you are interested in one... then it is only one that gets all your interest. |
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no.. that would be dead wrong to do and a insult to the lady. if you are interested in one... then it is only one that gets all your interest. You're my man... 
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Edited by
Duttoneer
on
Sun 03/26/17 03:14 AM
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Ok.. I say and hear this a lot.. From people that are dating casually but looking for something serious long term... Now is it appropriate well seeing somebody and getting to know them to be also seeing other people at the same time.... or as an example let's say you're seeing somebody offline right now but you keep your profile online still running... basically keeping your options open.... Some believe once you meet someone and start seeing them.. dating them casually however... you should not have your interest anywhere else. Some believe if you're just dating casually but looking for long term.. It's quite alright to keep dating other people.. keeping your options open.. Now is this a form of sitting on the fence?.. Is it unfair to be stringing the other person a long while you keep looking.. Even know you explained your position to them clearly.. and they say they're okay with that they understand... Firstly I feel a bit weird dating multiple people... but at the same time I don't want to close off any option of meeting the right person while I'm entertaining or dating what .could be the wrong person... If that makes sense? If it's just dating by both parties with no long term romantic interest in each other, it is either Just Friends, or Friends with Benefits in my opinion, and both parties need to be clear with each other up front if it's never going to be any more than that, to avoid any future misunderstandings between them. If dating is leading to courtship in the true sense of the word, dating someone else at the same time is cheating in my book, better to break up with them if you feel you want to date others because it isn't going to workout with them in the long term, since most people do not want their partner dating others. I recently watched a TV programme on the lives of a Mormon religious sect in Utah, in the US. Some of the men had 3 or 4 wives, multiple dating works for some people, it's not for me, one wife at one time would be enough.  |
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