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| Topic: Struggling With Evolving Gender Roles | |
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Because some women have mastered some traditional male roles of income earner, disciplinarian , home repairer, and advisor, they might more quickly need a man for affection, sex and companionship But some men master the sex role , but fall short in the area of affection and companionship How does a man cope if he is mainly needed for a role he may be weakest in? And if the female is more career oriented and less domesticated, how does she cope if her involvment at work affects her consistency in the bedroom and her attentiveness to daily house care ? What are your thoughts on the implications of this? |
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house care isn't just a female thing, the men live their as well.. i do it myself, rather than live in filth...
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ridiculous part is at some point along line
we have assigned certain household chores to one sex or the other as well as certain characteristics or personality traits as if all women are loving and nurturing and all men are mechanically inclined.. |
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If I don't have a "job", my job wpuld be the household. If I am working, it ia split
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Edited by
no1phD
on
Mon 04/10/17 09:53 AM
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Because some women have mastered some traditional male roles of income earner, disciplinarian , home repairer, and advisor, they might more quickly need a man for affection, sex and companionship But some men master the sex role , but fall short in the area of affection and companionship How does a man cope if he is mainly needed for a role he may be weakest in? And if the female is more career oriented and less domesticated, how does she cope if her involvment at work affects her consistency in the bedroom and her attentiveness to daily house care ? What are your thoughts on the implications of this? Such a good topic I could peal this onion for hours... Gender roles... Well all of us that were born in the sixties are still carrying around.. The Beaver Cleaver image.. And the mr. French show.. you remember that show I divorced father raising three sons and he has a male nanny I guess his name was mr. French.. But anyways I digress..lol.. When I was married I held hard but not too hard to the idea that I would look after the yard and maintenance and she would look after the interior the dusting the vacuuming the cooking.. and we would come together on the child-rearing.. But somewhere along the line, the lines got blurred... the division of household chores was unbalanced.. So it simply became whoever can do does out of.. simple necessity..ie.. if it needs doing do it..lol.... but that old dinosaur would raise its head if something wasn't done.. sometimes it would turn into the... well that's part of your duties really as the man or woman.. in the relationship... Now I will admit when it came to changing diapers..lol.. I would play up my gag reflexes a little too much to get out of it..lol |
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He is really a masculine energy man, and my goodness, what a relief!!!
It wasn't until recently that it dawned on me how much weight has been lifted off my shoulders now that I don't have to carry the masculine energy load anymore. And we aren't living together, mind you. Just that now in the relationship I can be feminine energy. Gosh, that feels SO good! I never knew how much of a burden it is to carry a load, and to fill in a role that isn't really you. As for when you're working and have to be in masculine energy then (achieving, success, competition, managing etc), advice is to swap hats the minute you walk in the door. Unless you're comfy with a less masculine energy man, then by all means remain masculine energy at home as well. You can be as masculine energy oriented as you want or need to be on the workfloor, you can still be all feminine energy in your relationship. Just have to remember that if you are with -or want to be with- a masculine energy man, you cannot be masculine at home/in the relationship. That is not going to work, as it will elicit competition as opposed to complement one another. Same if both are more feminine energy. Not much would get done then. One has to be Yin, the other has to be Yang. |
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He is really a masculine energy man, and my goodness, what a relief!!! It wasn't until recently that it dawned on me how much weight has been lifted off my shoulders now that I don't have to carry the masculine energy load anymore. And we aren't living together, mind you. Just that now in the relationship I can be feminine energy. Gosh, that feels SO good! I never knew how much of a burden it is to carry a load, and to fill in a role that isn't really you. As for when you're working and have to be in masculine energy then (achieving, success, competition, managing etc), advice is to swap hats the minute you walk in the door. Unless you're comfy with a less masculine energy man, then by all means remain masculine energy at home as well. You can be as masculine energy oriented as you want or need to be on the workfloor, you can still be all feminine energy in your relationship. Just have to remember that if you are with -or want to be with- a masculine energy man, you cannot be masculine at home/in the relationship. That is not going to work, as it will elicit competition as opposed to complement one another. Same if both are more feminine energy. Not much would get done then. One has to be Yin, the other has to be Yang. .jk.. I'm so kidding can you feel my chi energy..lol.. sending you nothing but love..lol..wink |
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He is really a masculine energy man, and my goodness, what a relief!!! It wasn't until recently that it dawned on me how much weight has been lifted off my shoulders now that I don't have to carry the masculine energy load anymore. And we aren't living together, mind you. Just that now in the relationship I can be feminine energy. Gosh, that feels SO good! I never knew how much of a burden it is to carry a load, and to fill in a role that isn't really you. As for when you're working and have to be in masculine energy then (achieving, success, competition, managing etc), advice is to swap hats the minute you walk in the door. Unless you're comfy with a less masculine energy man, then by all means remain masculine energy at home as well. You can be as masculine energy oriented as you want or need to be on the workfloor, you can still be all feminine energy in your relationship. Just have to remember that if you are with -or want to be with- a masculine energy man, you cannot be masculine at home/in the relationship. That is not going to work, as it will elicit competition as opposed to complement one another. Same if both are more feminine energy. Not much would get done then. One has to be Yin, the other has to be Yang. .jk.. I'm so kidding can you feel my chi energy..lol.. sending you nothing but love..lol..wink I'm flattered! Nevertheless do want to advice to grab an umbrella to cover yourself as I got a redirect installed for strange, incoming energies and loads. So if it was a erm... heavy load, make sure the umbrella is strong 
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its 50% /50% if both work and there will always be things that women are better at doing then men.. and vice a verse.
That is how the responsibilities should be divvied up.... do what you are better at doing and defer the ones your mate is better at.. to her. If one works and one doesn't the one who doesn't takes care of the work at home.... and that IS work. You work as a team. |
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rigid gender roles only work as long as both partners are happy with that arrangement
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house care isn't just a female thing, the men live their as well.. i do it myself, rather than live in filth... I totally agree mighty moe but you would be surprised how many men still expect the woman to do it , even if they dont vocalise it |
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house care isn't just a female thing, the men live their as well.. i do it myself, rather than live in filth... I totally agree mighty moe but you would be surprised how many men still expect the woman to do it , even if they dont vocalise it Lol...they would be in a world of hurt where I am |
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Mon 04/10/17 10:57 AM
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ridiculous part is at some point along line we have assigned certain household chores to one sex or the other as well as certain characteristics or personality traits as if all women are loving and nurturing and all men are mechanically inclined.. You re preaching to the choir Ms T lol. Thats why the thread has the word struggle in it. Some people are still struggling to grasp the evolving concept. I had a relative who at the end of her marriage discovered how much her husband quietly resented her for pursuing her studies and career so devotedly. The weird thing is that she never knew he expected her to be the main homemaker. He applauded her so often on all of her career achievements that she didnt realise he was expecting my relative to be flawless in fulfilling both obligations. |
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Edited by
TMommy
on
Mon 04/10/17 11:01 AM
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only cut that pie into so many pieces
or there are only so many hours in the day if you take a job outside the home that cuts into time you would spend in the home doing the chores, grocery shoppping, menu planning this holds true whether you be a man or a woman so the question becomes whose job is it to fill in the gaps? or how is the work going to be done? this by the way, is one of top five reasons couples argue and come to counseling did ya know that? |
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house care isn't just a female thing, the men live their as well.. i do it myself, rather than live in filth... I totally agree mighty moe but you would be surprised how many men still expect the woman to do it , even if they dont vocalise it |
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house care isn't just a female thing, the men live their as well.. i do it myself, rather than live in filth... I totally agree mighty moe but you would be surprised how many men still expect the woman to do it , even if they dont vocalise it |
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If I don't have a "job", my job wpuld be the household. If I am working, it ia split The housework is just one part of the issue yellowrose. The bigger issue is about failing to meet certain gender expectations in a relationship. In the case of my relative who I referenced above, her husband genuinely felt that house care was predominantly her role.He was resenting her for failing and she wasnt even awaire that it was a role he assigned to her |
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Because some women have mastered some traditional male roles of income earner, disciplinarian , home repairer, and advisor, they might more quickly need a man for affection, sex and companionship But some men master the sex role , but fall short in the area of affection and companionship How does a man cope if he is mainly needed for a role he may be weakest in? And if the female is more career oriented and less domesticated, how does she cope if her involvment at work affects her consistency in the bedroom and her attentiveness to daily house care ? What are your thoughts on the implications of this? Such a good topic I could peal this onion for hours... Gender roles... Well all of us that were born in the sixties are still carrying around.. The Beaver Cleaver image.. And the mr. French show.. you remember that show I divorced father raising three sons and he has a male nanny I guess his name was mr. French.. But anyways I digress..lol.. When I was married I held hard but not too hard to the idea that I would look after the yard and maintenance and she would look after the interior the dusting the vacuuming the cooking.. and we would come together on the child-rearing.. But somewhere along the line, the lines got blurred... the division of household chores was unbalanced.. So it simply became whoever can do does out of.. simple necessity..ie.. if it needs doing do it..lol.... but that old dinosaur would raise its head if something wasn't done.. sometimes it would turn into the... well that's part of your duties really as the man or woman.. in the relationship... Now I will admit when it came to changing diapers..lol.. I would play up my gag reflexes a little too much to get out of it..lol That clear segregation of roles is tricky because as you alluded, the need for flexibility arises when one person is unable to fulfil their duties. |
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I'm kind of old-fashioned. Even if I'm managing production at my work-time, at home I want to be a woman... not carry heavy bags, change the tire, fix the roof,do plumbing or mow the lawn. I don't mind cooking and cleaning and doing laundry for him. The more I appreciate when he makes dinner at the end of my hard day or brings me coffee into the bed sometimes.
But that's just me. |
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Edited by
peggy122
on
Mon 04/10/17 11:18 AM
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only cut that pie into so many pieces or there are only so many hours in the day if you take a job outside the home that cuts into time you would spend in the home doing the chores, grocery shoppping, menu planning this holds true whether you be a man or a woman so the question becomes whose job is it to fill in the gaps? or how is the work going to be done? this by the way, is one of top five reasons couples argue and come to counseling did ya know that? It wasnt a problem in my marriage but I know its a source of contention for many couples. But can you see how that gap-filling conflict becomes heightened when it comes out in counselling that both parties had very fixed ideas regarding which gender should be predominantly responsible for which activity? And no one ever vocalised that specificity because they bith wanted to apoear modern and flexible? |
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