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Topic: the lessons you have learned from past relationships
no1phD's photo
Mon 05/08/17 04:45 PM
Edited by no1phD on Mon 05/08/17 04:46 PM
Ok.. do you learn from your past mistakes.... from former relationships..
. Meaning if you make a mistake in a past relationship do you try not to repeat it in a new one...

Maybe you said I love you too quickly..
Maybe you were a little too needy too quickly...
Maybe you did not commit to the relationship quick enough...

Whatever the case do you learn and take these lessons with you into the next relationship....
Do you own your own cookie so to speak...hmmmm..

And what were some of the mistakes you made !!. In your past relationships ...ohh..and please share with the class room... same thing goes with bubblegum pass it around if you have some...lol.wink

no photo
Mon 05/08/17 04:50 PM
Edited by Unknow on Mon 05/08/17 04:50 PM
I met my last 2 partners online. They both turned out to be "whack jobs". oops I'm just here for the forums laugh

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Mon 05/08/17 04:51 PM
yes, if you don't learn, what's the point? THen you'll only end up repeating the same thing again.
So yes, I learn and work on them, try to change things if I feel it is necessary for my growth and chances of a healthy relationship.
It's a work in progress. I've changed a lot before I met him, because I chose to work on things, and I'm still fine-tuning now that I have met him.

No examples. Don't want to regurgitate old things that didn't work, it will only activate them again.

Argo's photo
Mon 05/08/17 04:53 PM
every new couple should have the chance to bake their
own fresh batch of cookies from scratch..together

no photo
Mon 05/08/17 05:17 PM
do you learn from your past mistakes

Depends on the mistake.
Some yes, some no, sometimes I learn the wrong thing, sometimes the right thing, sometimes I learn something but I should have learned something else, sometimes I am simply made consciously aware of greater depth that I've been putting to use but didn't realize, sometimes I think I have learned from mistakes but I really didn't, sometimes I think I've learned from past mistakes, am presented with an opportunity to put that learning to use, but I'm wrong regarding the correct application, which may cast doubt on what I've learned, potentially leading me to learn something else that isn't correct.

All sorts of permutations.

Meaning if you make a mistake in a past relationship do you try not to repeat it in a new one

Oh.
Depends on the mistake, depends on the relationship.
What might be a mistake in a past relationship, maybe the right thing to do in the new relationship.

Maybe you said I love you too quickly..

Maybe I said I love you too quickly in the last relationship because I felt them drawing away and wanted to try and draw them back, maybe I said I love you too quickly in this relationship because it was true, maybe I will say I love you too quickly in the next relationship because I mistake love for something else, maybe in different relationships what I associate my love with to them individually is different.

Whatever the case do you learn and take these lessons with you into the next relationship....

Based on your examples you seem to be referring more to a script or formula for a relationship.

Do you own your own cookie so to speak

I prefer to steal them from children in uniforms.
So, no.

what were some of the mistakes you made !!. In your past relationships

Many.
Including misinterpreting body language, not noticing attempts at communication, stubbornness and pride, not acknowledging how much I didn't care for the sake of appearances, living up to expectations in order to justify my own expectations, being incorrectly considerate leading to being inconsiderate, not keeping my receipts, showing weakness, not showing weakness, not taking advantage of certain opportunities.



NeonMidnight's photo
Mon 05/08/17 06:34 PM
don't marry a bigot

dreamerana's photo
Mon 05/08/17 11:48 PM
Lesson learned.
Comoromise involves 2 people.

nismo976's photo
Tue 05/09/17 04:51 AM
Mistakes are made, lessons are learned. With that said I take what I have learned previously into the next relationship. One lesson I haven't quite figured out is not being so damn shy. slaphead

Tom4Uhere's photo
Tue 05/09/17 06:15 AM
You are referring to...
Wisdom
Wisdom is knowledge learned from life experiences, both good and bad.

Smart
Smart is learning knowledge without life experiences.

Intelligent
Intelligence is the capacity to learn knowledge.

You do not put your hand on a red hot stove.
Smart prevents you from getting your hand burnt because someone has told you that it will happen. Your intelligence understands the gravity of the warning.
Wisdom prevents you from burning your hand because you have burnt it in the past and your intelligence understands that if you repeat the action, it will repeat the result.

Both smart and wise requires a period of consideration. An assessment of the validity of the lesson must be understood for the lesson to have significance. Failure to see the reality of the lesson clouds your judgement and you repeat the mistakes of the past.

I burnt my hand but the burner didn't mean it.
I burnt my hand but I touched the burner wrong.
I burnt my hand but it was a Tuesday.

I really burnt my hand because I allowed my flesh to come into contact with a red hot surface.

Any delusions I tell myself, then believe, will cause me to burn my hand again. When I realize this, I gain the wisdom that my hand and that red hot surface should never make contact. I adjust my actions to assure it does not repeat.

There is wisdom to be gained from every relationship. Wisdom learned from both the good and the bad.

If we cloud our judgement with delusions instead of taking the time to see the reality of the situation we are doomed to repeat our mistakes. It requires the ability to understand our own motivations, the motivations of the other and the will to take the action or inaction that changes the outcome.

Do we tend to just cry about our inadequacies or do we take an active role in determining our path? Do we choose to repeat our mistakes or do we strive towards being in control of ourselves?

no photo
Tue 05/09/17 08:09 AM
One thing I learned....Compromise is just another way of saying "NO"!
Oh, and don't put yourself into compromisal hell! frustrated

no photo
Tue 05/09/17 09:53 AM

don't marry a bigot

Is a bigot 4 inches higher than a midget? whoa

no photo
Tue 05/09/17 10:09 AM


don't marry a bigot

Is a bigot 4 inches higher than a midget? whoa


No but they are short on brains :wink:

no photo
Tue 05/09/17 10:11 AM



don't marry a bigot

Is a bigot 4 inches higher than a midget? whoa


No but they are short on brains :wink:

Oh, I always get them muddled up laugh

no photo
Tue 05/09/17 10:15 AM




don't marry a bigot

Is a bigot 4 inches higher than a midget? whoa


No but they are short on brains :wink:

Oh, I always get them muddled up laugh


The prefix Bi = Bloody Idiot laugh

no photo
Tue 05/09/17 10:20 AM
Edited by Unknow on Tue 05/09/17 10:22 AM





don't marry a bigot

Is a bigot 4 inches higher than a midget? whoa


No but they are short on brains :wink:

Oh, I always get them muddled up laugh


The prefix Bi = Bloody Idiot laugh

Bi? Thought that was bisexual?
That's all we need, a bisexual brainless short person! rofl

no photo
Tue 05/09/17 10:25 AM
Her stockings never did quite fit me right, neither did her heels.

no photo
Tue 05/09/17 10:37 AM

Her stockings never did quite fit me right, neither did her heels.

laugh hate it when that happens, always struggle to find a nice pair of size 11s what

no photo
Tue 05/09/17 10:47 AM






don't marry a bigot

Is a bigot 4 inches higher than a midget? whoa


No but they are short on brains :wink:

Oh, I always get them muddled up laugh


The prefix Bi = Bloody Idiot laugh

Bi? Thought that was bisexual?
That's all we need, a bisexual brainless short person! rofl


laugh

no photo
Tue 05/09/17 10:49 AM


Her stockings never did quite fit me right, neither did her heels.

laugh hate it when that happens, always struggle to find a nice pair of size 11s what


Sling backs are the answer, that and good balance winking

no photo
Tue 05/09/17 11:06 AM



Her stockings never did quite fit me right, neither did her heels.

laugh hate it when that happens, always struggle to find a nice pair of size 11s what


Sling backs are the answer, that and good balance winking

Thanks funky, will call in town and pick some up for the weekend, I need to get some ham and pickle anyway rofl

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