another hypothetical

if someone is dating you and you find out you are not the only one they are dating, would it upset you?


what do you think should be 'expected' from a person we are dating casually?

monogamy?
full disclosure of income and assets?
24/7 accessibility?


what types of things do you feel should be a part of a casual dating relationship,, as a given?

is this in rl? or online...online no one should have access to your assets income etc that is the number one telltale sign of a scammer smh in rl if its a physical relation then yea things like sleepin around not very good for relationship or health of each other

I believe that in dating, one is free to see or talk to anyone they wish to. However, if things start to evolve, into something more serious, then it's a matter of discussing exclusive dating.

I am a one woman man, and I put my whole self in a relationship, but if one is only dating, and it's still in early stages, why not date others.

It is only when there is mutual commitment that I will only date that person.

Depends on what you want yourself. If you are going for a relationship and commitment and he clearly is not, yeah I would be a smidgen upset. But I think you know, or at least can know, he isn't serious.
And there's ways to address the issue of exclusivity when you've been dating a while.
And if you're smart you keep circular dating until you got the commitment you want. That way you can prevent getting too attached and involved when a guy kind of strings you along because he cannot be @r$ed to commit. Some need some encouragement and if they know they got you all to themselves, what's the rush?

For myself...like to play the field ..so to speak...but if I meet someone who I want to really get to know better..I give that person all my attention...

But I do struggle sometimes...with the whole commitment..thing..I start to look to far down the road..and get a little .gun shy..

No need for you to look down the road... date her a few times and she'll start doing that for you So don't waste your energy on it, haha.
And when she does, there's plenty of time to panic and do a runner, bolt your front door behind you, take a deep breath and light a spliff. Wiggle your butt in your most comfy chair, inhale deeply, and say out loud "Phew! I managed to get out of that one! Good job ole boy, jolly good job!"

Humm~~~honestly I have never dated more then one guy at a time.. If he is playing the field I bypass him...

The way I see it go out once or twice if the after that the date don't make you want to go out with them again then move on... More then that then I will be the one asking if they are dating others.. But have yet had them say yes~~~

If they are dating others then it's a no go, for my main requirement is monogamy. No double dipping~~~

As far as their assets not my business unless they want to tell me..

24/7 accessibility? Hell no we all need, some time of our own...

When you both work and have friends you might want to go do stuff the other does not care about, go do it.

To me as long as the relationship is one on one then I have no issues what they do or where they go.. For I guarantee there are things I like to do without a guy and on my own or with friends/family..

I've always thought this was a step, a conversation. To automatically assume exclusivity rings of weird possessiveness to me...a warning sign.

If a (potential) partner says, "I really like you. I see this going somewhere. What do you think about making this exclusive?" Great!

As far as dating others, no, I wouldn't get upset...I'd tell him to have fun and be on his merry way. I get that others date more than one and to each their own, but for me, I am a one date/man person. I don't like to share when it comes to that.

Full disclosure of income and assets...not if we are just dating. Later, if things get more serious and we are discussing sharing our life together, then yes.

24/7 accessibility....He has to be, I don't... just kidding. That would drive me crazy. I like having time to myself and respect that he would want that too.

Punctuality....I don't like being kept waiting, so this is important to me. Unless there is some kind of emergency, he needs to show up when he says he will, it's just common courtesy.

Other things I think are important are communication and honesty. Say what you mean, mean what you say type thing.

lol

..haha..you know me to well...
Lol..what can I say!!... I'm picky .. ..
But for right now I'm happy having someone in my life who iam Gaga about. .my . .not looking down the road just at the right now...and if it turns into something. .more great
.all for it..

seems youre a one woman man after all you should be ashamed of yourself

Hihi, enjoy it, cowboy! And when you get to the point where she starts looking down that road, don't do a runner if she's worth it. TALK. Be honest, communicate. She'll appreciate it.
Chances are she's been with someone before who did the proverbial runner out of fear of commitment because a lot of guys have that problem. I actually think most do. But most don't talk, they just do a runner, leaving a girl all confused and hurt. And it can cause a woman to develop fear of commitment too (fear of abandonment) when that happens. If you care about her, don't do that to her. I'm quite sure she would really appreciate it when finally there's a guy who is honest and talks about it.
It does not emasculate you, the opposite, it makes you more of a man! Being able to talk about your feelings and fears doesn't make you a mommy's boy, it makes you an emotionally mature man. Which is what every woman wants!
Try to bear that in mind for when that moment arrives.

Not so many people think that way an I believe it all comes down to our perception of what a relationship truly means but I'll allude to your own line of reasoning in a situation like this. 24/7 accessibility is not humanly practicable and possible as such one just needs to keep the line of communication strong

Not so many people think that way an I believe it all comes down to our perception of what a relationship truly means but I'll allude to your own line of reasoning in a situation like this. 24/7 accessibility is not humanly practicable and possible as such one just needs to keep the line of communication strong

Maybe.
How long have I been dating them?
1 week? 9 months?

How did I find out they were dating someone else?
Were they actively keeping it hidden?
I mean there's a big difference between: "No sorry, uh, can't see you next friday because I, uh, have to...take care of my grandma..yeah! That's it!" then you run into them at Subway, and, "sorry, can't see you next friday because I'm seeing the other dude I'm dating."

Also, how long have they been dating the other person?
Did they meet me online the same day as them? And we've only met/dated a couple of times?
Or have they been dating some other guy for 3 years and this is our 3rd date?
Have they been dating me for 2 months, and they just met a new guy last weekend?

Not to mention, what are their views on dating? Do they see it as just a friendly outing, talking, having fun? Do they call times they go out with their friend a "date" too?
Or do they show up on a first date with a binder defining a dating and relationship to marriage plan? Are they the type that says they "know what they want?"

And of course, have we had sex yet? Has she had sex with the other person?
Is she the type that believes in waiting to have sex? Or is she more immediately motivated by her passions and desires?


As little as possible, especially if you met them online (as opposed to dating someone you've worked with for 3 years, or your 'just friend' after 3 years of being 'friends'). Just because you've labeled it "dating" doesn't mean you aren't ultimately meeting a stranger. No different than any random person off the street.

Otherwise, I think I should expect what they've led me to expect based on their behavior and their beliefs and personality based on my experience with them to that point.



Doesn't matter, you're dating individuals.
"As a given" only really applies to groups and culture.
You really going to go into your next date and be all "Well I thought it was a given! I mean Billy, and Jimmy, and Pedro, and Xen, and Quan, and Peter, and Tom all behaved that way! It's the norm! It's how everyone else is doing it! You're bad for not conforming to how things 'should' be and behaving like all the other guys I dated that did behave that way but it still failed!"

In societies that are stupidly barrelling towards multiculturalism and globalism, where meeting potential mates is done impersonally, from distant locations, there is going to be less "as a given," except maybe self preservation basics.
Like, "I expect you aren't going to kill me, rape me, kidnap me and sell me into slavery, steal my identity or rob me."

would it upset me?

How about what I call the transition stage. will explain,
Your single and are on here or any other sites for instance, you go out on a date with someone one night then someone else a few days later, then you may re date the first one. possibly still not sure then you find another but re date the first one again?
Hopefully that makes sense