The problem I have with men understanding, is when I need to talk and maybe vent. Don't ignore me, and get mad at me wanting to know what it is, I want you to do! There is nothing I want you to fix. If I wanted that...I would just tell you in the first place. Because I do not want you to do anything. I just want you to care enough to let me let it out. Then I will be fine.
That is more help than he realizes.
Kat

What have I learnt???

I also don't understand hints, clues, cues, and other vague ways of communicating, so why should a man..?

So I have learnt to be clear, concise, and objective...if I cannot vocalise what is happening within me, I tell them so.

I don't need 'fixing' nor require to 'fix' anyone...

If you are open to listening to my challenges, whatever they may be, then thankyou, an ear is exactly what I require.

Nothing more.

thank you!no really!thank you

Jess642 for President! Death to the double-standard of honesty/games!

Again, when guys lie to mold your reaction, we are A-holes. Why do women think its ok when they do it? And then wonder why men are the way they are...

Treat people the way you want to be treated.

Hey now....I wasn't honest??
Kat

I think we said the same thing Kat, you need some wings..

I thought I covered a bunch of these in my things we say, what we mean post somewhere here.

I agree... why would you lie just to get something?? I haven't nor would ever do that. I'm too old now to play stupid want games! Oh wait.. I'm single, maybe I should look into this whole thing.
But then again, I'm looking for a relationshop based on honesty and fun. Mwahahahaha I said "relationshop" maybe it is true. Can't buy me love... BS!! lol

I try to treat them the way I want to be treated....but not everyone's into S&M

I feel at this point I need to interject a bit of clarity. It was not my intent to divide the sexes, rather to lend some REAL solutions to a VERY REAL issue.

Like it or not, women DO communicate differently than men. Much of that communication is NONVERBAL. Now that is not intended to be a match of wits, mind reading, or game playing by the majority of women.

Just as it would be unfair to label ALL men as "dogs," so it is unjust to place ALL women under the blanket of "schemers" and "mind gamers."

My attempt here was to gather HONEST information in an effort to ASSIST men with understanding women, even if a little bit.
I happen to delight in the differences between men and women, however, would prefer understanding to frustration.

The more we understand each other's "general" makeup, the better off we are, right? After all, even die-hard Do-It-Yourselfers need to glimps a a manual from time-to-time.

Now........any more "clues" in the interum between cueing and restructuring our way of communicating?

That's what I'm talkin about!!!!

I agree with Jess....If we don't say how we honestly feel, how will they know?? I don't play those games either!!
COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY HERE!! If you can't talk to your mate, then who can you talk to?? When I was younger, it was harder to communicate...but now that I am older, I say what I feel!!
Soooo, the next man I date, if I date, I will say exactly how I feel. I don't know if that is good or bad...but he won't have to second guess how I feel!!!

Once again, I've got to agree with Whispersandwinks on the "unspoken/secret" language of women.

I have found to be true that when I tell the person I am romantically linked to, "I'm not feeling well," I quickly begin to feel better when/if he holds me and asks if there is anything he can do to help.

The action on his part to make the effort ALONE makes me feel better, so it may appear to some that I am seeking attention by my statement of not feeling well.

I am not shy (hello! seen my name?)and not afraid to ask for what I want. The problem is.........sometimes it is difficult to "put your finger" on what it is you do want/need. In such cases, it is a blessing to have a man be sensitive enough, tuned in enough to bridge the gap. Not head games....just ambivalence, at times. Surely we're allowed that on occasion.