Good evening my great beautiful people of Mingle2, I decided to post another one of my " Hot Teas Topic on dating" Now usually I do the politics room but lately I been getting a lot of luv in this room & because you guys make my topics to be mega hits, so I lace you all with a new on. Shouts out to all new & current " Vocal Avengers" please keep voicing I take in all feedback to learn as well as teach. Okay lets get right into it. America, when you hear the word " F " word, what's run thru your mind? Curse Word, No. Have you ever dated a person you thought the night was perfect, you was treated quite well, the chemistry was there. The dinner conversation was awesome, & maybe you thought" this is my night, I think I'm get lucky" or maybe not. A week goes by you make the first call to your potential, with the hopes for another great time with them. Instead of the answer you desired your date tells you " Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't call you back I was very busy, what's up?" So you explain you want to see them again. Instead of a lovely yes you get what I call the " F " word. They tell you " yeah I had fun but you so nice but I want to keep you as a friend"! Ouch......Okay, let's talk about it. Have you ever experience this type of feedback? If you did, how did it make you feel? Did it make you or break you? Also was you the one that told someone the " F " word? Let's have a little fun with this one.

All replies will be answered back!
Thank you kindly
EyeAmYourHost39

EyeAmYourHost39,

Ladies, I'm sorry to say but in my past I was always the one to give the "F" word to a girl that I wasn't either attracted to or I knew her so well, we developed a friendship brother/sister type friendship. just today, a girl asked me out, and being the gentlemen that I am I gently decline her offer. I just see her like a really good friend. I don't want to ruin that. See sometimes being friends isn't always a bad thing. Life is funny you maybe friends now but karma has a funny way of changing the heart. some of the greatest relationships started out with the " F " word....friendship. So to all those who got the f-word, taking as a stepping stone to greatness.

Between the age of 16 to 35 that was my life. The worst is when they show up for coffee/diner/whatever simple beaming and all they want to do is tell you about this great guy they have meet and then want you to help them clench the deal.

It doesn't happen to me often It's usually the other way around..lol.. but if they say they just want to be friends I say great!!..
Can always use a friend to go see a movie with.. can always use a friend to go have dinner with.. can always use a friend to have mind blowing sex with...lol.. so I say yes!!.. let's be friends.. but now that we are friends do you have any girl friends that I can date..hmmmmm... because apparently you and I aren't going to be sex friends...lol

This has never happened to me. Either we are dating or we never see each other again, except maybe by accident.

Being an "F" isn't so bad if you get the W and B with it. Having the "Benefit" of someone that gives you a foot massage after a long day in your feet is just fine in my book...

awesome EyeAM, I dont think I can ever truly be 'more than friends' without starting out in the f zone to begin with,,,


f=friend...jumping right into romance doesn't seem to have worked well for anyone I know, including myself,, friends seem to last much longer than any other 'commitments' people make,, so that status , for me, has the most potential to end up in a commitment that lasts,,,

I am usually the one who put a suitor into a friend zone. I guess it's normal for a man to feel bad and disappointed when rejected. But it's how we deliver the rejection, a woman has to be sensitive to a man's ego and feelings, coz most of them lose their confidence when rejected. I try to be subtle and I build up the confidence of that man, I didn't reject him because he has qualities that I don't like , but it just so happened that I don't feel anything for him except friendship or brotherly love and you have to make him understand that. I have a suitor I rejected but because he's a real nice person we continued to be good friends and I found a good female friend to date him, now they are in a relationship and we are good friends still, I became their confidante. We may not win the heart of a lover but we can gain a good friend for a lifetime:)

Preach it, sister. That's the point. But Hollywood doesn't tell us that.
If you don't know each other well as friends, how can you ever get through the tough times that come in a relationship. Because when those tough times come, it's being best friends that makes it last. Not being lovers-at-war.

Well, you now know one: it worked that way for me.
I've never been friends with anyone then at some point find there is more. There's either a buzz or there isn't.

It's mostly been the other way around for me, bar for the fact that when I'm not interested in a man as a potential partner, I don't need him to be my friend either. Some have offered friendship after I politely rejected them, but I declined cos they secretly hope for more regardless.

I once met a man who was great, but in spite of that not the right match for me. Yet something was there between us. We ended up kissing when we said our goodbyes, and yes, there was something there all right. That was odd, cos kissing never is good when I don't feel it for a man. Had i remained friends with him, it would've gotten difficult, because that vibe would have lingered between us. It would have gotten me in a twist, and it would have stopped me from being completely open for the right one for me. Who I met 2 weeks later.
Had I changed my mind about the other guy, I may now not have been with this great man.
So becoming friends... tricky. Not my cup of tea.
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DNHBlue,

Welcome back to my cyber mansion. Wow you mean to tell me you was going out with a young lady and the conversation of hers came up about another guy over coffee? OMG.....wow.. At least you was a gentleman and took the exit out the back door figurelyy speaking.

NoPhD1,

Welcome back......lol i can see you might of broken a few hearts. But let me ask you this. Okay in your prime the women that's you let down easily how did it made you feel?

crystalFairy,

I am the same way. when I was in a position to be on the other end of the f-word friends, truthfully, I felt small, especially if I really like her. my current girlfriend actually approached me and ask me out. I agreed, but i seen both sides of the fences. i guess being honest enough with the person letting know there's no chemistry but i like you as someone who we hang out & share world views. Or we can go to a coffee house and gossip on the stars but far as getting together, well.....let's be friends treatment can end up to be a good thing.

2Email4M,

welcome to my cyber mansion, i agree, it don't have to feel rejected with that word. i have many female friends now even today. being friends can discover perspective on a male / female minds. i once when i was in my early 30's and i had a female issue and i told my favorite female friend the problem and she gave me awesome advice. i even gave a female friend some guy advice and we have a wonderful friendship.

Dolphin0925,


Welcome to my cyber mansion, so in little words its okay to genteelly turn down. you right its about the delivery and how you do it. like it was taught to me its not what you do but its about how you do it. Ladies let me ask you this, would it make it better if the man offer the f-word or does it feel better coming for you ladies.

Ms. Harmony"

Hey baby girl, let me put a thought. Lets say you met a wonderful guy. Hes very handsome like denzel or george clooney. Tall charming and really wants to know you better. You agreed to a picnic lunch at a dog park and the conversation is quite nice.somewhere in conversation your feelings when another direction. A week goes by he calls you to see if you'll agree for another date. You give him the f-word theory to. He's crushed. He wants to know why? Would you let him down softly or go viper?

Hahaha see I was thinking F word and yeppers thought of the F-Bomb which I'm known to say..

But since it was the other F word~~~ Hummm I have had the honor to put a few there.. Once you meet if there is no chemistry then they in the the Friend zone and yes I have told a few that and had a few get upset.. But if it ain't there it ain't there!

Myself you know after meeting them if you want to try another date or not... and if your not sure go out again to make sure... But then I don't have a problem admitting there is nothing there to go any further..

TsxGal3333,

Lol i love your comedy. But you did make a good point. If it aint there then it aint there. I gets it safe to say most people by the middle of a date to decided if there be another date. If they get upset and try to make a scene.....then you go viper!

Love = Friendship on Fire