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| Topic: The Dreaded " F" Word...Friends! | |
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Love = Friendship on Fire I think I came across this the other day, and somehow I find it grates on me. Not entirely sure why. One way or another I find it impossible/jarring to think of a partner as a friend, even when you add "on fire" to it. To me a partner is not a friend, he's much much more than just a friend. It's someone I want to spend my life with, sleep with, be with. He's the Yang to my Yin, my other half. Not a friend. I don't stay friends with ex-partners either. I cannot be friends with someone who was so close to me, who at one point in time meant so much to me. Not that there have to be ill feelings, not at all. But to remain friends, no. I could never turn what I used to have with a man into friendship. When a relationship is over, it is over. That's why I can never relate to this "friends first, than romance". Feels completely off to me. |
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Dolphin0925, Welcome to my cyber mansion, so in little words its okay to genteelly turn down. you right its about the delivery and how you do it. like it was taught to me its not what you do but its about how you do it. Ladies let me ask you this, would it make it better if the man offer the f-word or does it feel better coming for you ladies. EyeAm, thank you for welcoming me. Though this is not my first time to post comment on your thread. You always have interesting thread where I have commented before   As for a man putting me into a friend zone, i have never experienced that as I have never initiated interest with a man. I am the waiting type , I don't go after a man. He has to be the first to show interest to me, so most of the time I am the one offering the friend zone. It would be a slap if a man rejects you, as it is too obvious you are the one going after him.  
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Edited by
msharmony
on
Sat 07/15/17 01:38 AM
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Ms. Harmony" Hey baby girl, let me put a thought. Lets say you met a wonderful guy. Hes very handsome like denzel or george clooney. Tall charming and really wants to know you better. You agreed to a picnic lunch at a dog park and the conversation is quite nice.somewhere in conversation your feelings when another direction. A week goes by he calls you to see if you'll agree for another date. You give him the f-word theory to. He's crushed. He wants to know why? Would you let him down softly or go viper? being as how I dont believe in instant feelings,(accepting for adrenaline or endorphins that temporarily flud our system sometimes) but instead that people all have good and bad days and good and bad moments, and that real love and romance doesn't just happen, but must 'develop' I would give it more time to come to any conclusions,,,so the hypothetical is truly difficult to relate to,,, however if i were the type to just pass that judgment after one day or one moment that was otherwise 'quite nice'....I would of course let him down softly, probably by explaining it as my own inability to put myself out there or move so quickly,,,, |
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It doesn't happen to me often It's usually the other way around..lol.. but if they say they just want to be friends I say great!!.. Can always use a friend to go see a movie with.. can always use a friend to go have dinner with.. can always use a friend to have mind blowing sex with...lol.. so I say yes!!.. let's be friends.. but now that we are friends do you have any girl friends that I can date..hmmmmm... because apparently you and I aren't going to be sex friends...lol Damn right..... 
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Hello people
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I am fine with the friend zone as long as they are honest
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TsxGal3333, Lol i love your comedy. But you did make a good point. If it aint there then it aint there. I gets it safe to say most people by the middle of a date to decided if there be another date. If they get upset and try to make a scene.....then you go viper! Hello, I'm the Viper! I come to Vipe your Vindows 
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BeachFarmer,
Yes family, friends, how ever you see fit |
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Johnny111.
Welcome back.....when i said viper, do you know what i mean when i mentioned that? If not that means be explicit tell somebody off ruthless. |
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Vam27,
Welcome to my cyber mansion. Would you like to give some feedback? Talk freely |
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Edited by
msharmony
on
Sat 07/15/17 12:05 PM
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many times, when we are not 'feeling' someone,,,,and for me its never going to be right off the bat unless they are rude
it is hard for their ego to accept, its the 'either/or' mentality that society and media have conditioned us to expect in romance,,,, it is hard for people to accept or embrace anything other than what they want in the moment, so not wanting the same thing in the same moment can be devastating and they can lash out I had the 'not feeling this' conversation at the end of my first marriage and my husband was not happy about it, but instead of lashing out over his anger, I understood why it was there and decided not to fuel it with my own 'viper' feelings throwing fuel on fire is never a good idea.... |
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Johnny111. Welcome back.....when i said viper, do you know what i mean when i mentioned that? If not that means be explicit tell somebody off ruthless. Well that explains it, I had no clue, I was way off!  Why would you go all ruthless viper style on anyone who likes you?  |
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Love = Friendship on Fire I think I came across this the other day, and somehow I find it grates on me. Not entirely sure why. One way or another I find it impossible/jarring to think of a partner as a friend, even when you add "on fire" to it. To me a partner is not a friend, he's much much more than just a friend. It's someone I want to spend my life with, sleep with, be with. He's the Yang to my Yin, my other half. Not a friend. I don't stay friends with ex-partners either. I cannot be friends with someone who was so close to me, who at one point in time meant so much to me. Not that there have to be ill feelings, not at all. But to remain friends, no. I could never turn what I used to have with a man into friendship. When a relationship is over, it is over. That's why I can never relate to this "friends first, than romance". Feels completely off to me. Nice |
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Hrhrlenka,
Welcome to my cyber mansion. Well i gave your response a good read and honestly i agree with you 200%. So mixing friendship & ex is it bad ideal?. Or someone you really got close too. |
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EyeAmYourHost39,
America, let me see if you approve this. Okay just to let you know this is a real friend of mines. Okay since we talking the f word, is this valid. I have a good male buddy that told me his sexual encounter with this particular woman. Mu buddy is black, the girl he had sex with was his cousin by marriage she's white. In matter of time she wanted more sex but then his morality kicks in he realized you are my cousin by marriage. We can family in his case. His girl cousin was crushed and threatened to expose him to both sides of the families. So America tell me where the right tell me the wrong in this here. The f word here should been family. |
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Dolphin90915,
Yes i see you have been posting with me. I like to bring fresh, thoughtful, & topics that we think but never mention. I like how you mention you dont after a man. See that tells me grow upon you. I think anybody thats get crazy after being gently turned down deserves whatever happen next. |
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EyeAmYourHost39, America, let me see if you approve this. Okay just to let you know this is a real friend of mines. Okay since we talking the f word, is this valid. I have a good male buddy that told me his sexual encounter with this particular woman. Mu buddy is black, the girl he had sex with was his cousin by marriage she's white. In matter of time she wanted more sex but then his morality kicks in he realized you are my cousin by marriage. We can family in his case. His girl cousin was crushed and threatened to expose him to both sides of the families. So America tell me where the right tell me the wrong in this here. The f word here should been family. IMHO if it is not blood, it is not 'family' enough to be worried about where relations are concerned it is strange, but not 'wrong' vengeful behavior is usually wrong, and in this case, they both did what they wanted to do so her threat to him is definitely wrong,,, |
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Ms. Harmony,
ill......I thought once you cousins always cousins.......lol |
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YellowRose10,
I think we all want honesty... |
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...that, unfortunately explained why I got burned by a "close friend" who lied like a rug, burned my heart to cinders, danced on the ashes, THEN became jealous of other women when there was NOTHING going on between them and I (???)(!!!)
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