Topic: Is a marriage vow an oath
beyondencryption's photo
Sat 08/19/17 01:07 PM
Then why do people swear to be together till death and divorce

no photo
Sat 08/19/17 02:07 PM
Because we all change over time. It's possible to not love someone years later.

msharmony's photo
Sat 08/19/17 02:43 PM
because it is a two way oath, and people break different parts (like fidelity, respect, charishing, obedience) which breaks the 'oath' and the other persons sense of obligation to it

kind of like if I make a contract to pay someone 10000 to paint my house and instead they come over and vandalize it,,,I may decide the contract is null and void, and give them nothing.

no photo
Sat 08/19/17 03:36 PM

Then why do people swear to be together till death and divorce


I think the great majority have no idea what love really is. They have no real idea what commitment is. A lot of them now base their relationships on sex. That's wrong too. Neither one knows how to put the other first. Even after marriage, they want to live like they are still single.

Another thing, just from a man's point of view. The great majority of women now don't need a man. They are very independent. They don't mind raising kids on their own. (At least it seems most don't.) And they have B.O.B. No need of a man. We live in a throwaway world.

msharmony's photo
Sat 08/19/17 06:02 PM


Then why do people swear to be together till death and divorce


I think the great majority have no idea what love really is. They have no real idea what commitment is. A lot of them now base their relationships on sex. That's wrong too. Neither one knows how to put the other first. Even after marriage, they want to live like they are still single.

Another thing, just from a man's point of view. The great majority of women now don't need a man. They are very independent. They don't mind raising kids on their own. (At least it seems most don't.) And they have B.O.B. No need of a man. We live in a throwaway world.



excellent answer. drinker

it is hard to be 'joined as one' with individuals who are so focused on 'being themselves' and being 'independent',,, they really have to both have a commitment to the 'being one' and not so much to maintaining their own independence,,,imho

Toodygirl5's photo
Mon 12/25/17 03:03 PM

Then why do people swear to be together till death and divorce



One spouse can opt out of the agreement and then you have a divorce.

no photo
Mon 12/25/17 05:06 PM

Then why do people swear to be together till death and divorce

Because they are following a wonderful script that was devised many a year ago. Earliest Book of Common 1549 was till death us depart. 1662 changed to till death us do part.
Looked into it for you. You are welcome.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Mon 12/25/17 05:32 PM
Indeed cos until not so long ago we didn't even have the option to divorce.
And quite likely a nice means from church/religion to exert power and control.

I don't think I'd ever vow "till death do us part" cos you simply don't know what's going to happen or how you're going to feel at some point.
I'd have that intention, but you cannot vow to it.
Not sure when it got obsolete over here, but I think it hasn't been in use for quite some time anymore.

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Mon 12/25/17 06:50 PM


As someone pointed out, the reason for the standard marriage vows, is simple tradition.

But all oaths and vows and promises are the same, in that they are not magic spells. No one is CAUSED to behave themselves, by the fact that they took an oath.

All that aside, or perhaps because of it in particular, I am entirely certain that people CAN take vows, and understand what they mean, and live up to them. All it takes is a personal sense of honor, and the will to do the work required, and to accept the consequences involved.

Unfortunately, it seems that the majority of people don't have one or the other or both of those necessary components, so they should never take such a vow, because people like that will never do what is needed to live up to it.

yellowrose10's photo
Mon 12/25/17 06:56 PM

Then why do people swear to be together till death and divorce


Because people change

no photo
Tue 12/26/17 12:00 AM
Henry V111 had the right idea

AngelHappiness's photo
Tue 12/26/17 05:35 AM

Then why do people swear to be together till death and divorce


Because they are not happy with their relationship anymore and sometimes the best thing that they can do is to let go and set each other free

msharmony's photo
Tue 12/26/17 09:44 AM
Edited by msharmony on Tue 12/26/17 09:45 AM

Then why do people swear to be together till death and divorce


I believe it will be a very unpopular view, and I have succumbed to it as well. But truth be told, that 'vow' is one that is either rooted in a belief in God or it is not.

Those who are not believers, are only viewing it as an 'optionable' contract.

and those who are believers, are bit more devoted to to self 'happiness' than to God's glory, myself included, though every day I try to grow.

yellowrose10's photo
Tue 12/26/17 09:50 AM

Then why do people swear to be together till death and divorce


People change. Sometimes they aren't who you married. Sometimes it is worse (abuse, etc)

Conrad_73's photo
Tue 12/26/17 09:58 AM

Henry V111 had the right idea

a bit radical,though!bigsmile

 ☮️ Coolchic Dee 💟's photo
Tue 12/26/17 10:02 AM

I think those vows should be changed to....”As long as we both think it’s a good idea”....! :laughing:
It just seems like when problems come along, and they will, nobody want to try to change
their ways to work things out....!

msharmony's photo
Tue 12/26/17 10:03 AM


I think those vows should be changed to....”As long as we both think it’s a good idea”....! :laughing:
It just seems like when problems come along, and they will, nobody want to try to change
their ways to work things out....!



I think since marriage is now only legally a pursuit of happiness, we could change it to 'As long as we both are happy." And we would peg it on the nose.

Tom4Uhere's photo
Tue 12/26/17 11:51 AM
I think...
Marriage vows play on the romantic idea that
"I will love you unconditionally forever".

Many people have an idea of what that means but are truly not sure.
At the time they take the vow, they feel sure that it is possible so they take the vow in hope that it is true.

We all know of people that have taken the vow and remained married until death of one or the other. We can't know if they were always happy and content while married because we did not walk their path.
We only see the end result and think "well, if they can do it, why can't I?".

So, we go into the the vow imagining we will be married, happy and content until one of us dies. But then, life gets in the way of that vow and things get out of control because life is not a script, its different for all of us.

We intended to keep our promise but things did not turn out the way we imagined. Someone lied, we were incompatible in some way we couldn't see at the time. We didn't really understand the peron we committed to because we saw the facade and not the true person.

Lots of people have a facade personality and many only choose to see that instead of getting to know the person as they really are.
We fall in love with the facade but like any acting, it has to be maintained or the persona falls apart.

Part of the courting process is to look past the facade and see that person as they really are. Many choose not to look. They rush into a marriage and end up unhappy with their choice but now, they are locked into a commitment.

This is why I believe it is always best to be yourself and find the one that loves you being you.

Its also importnat to see the other person as they are, know when they are playing a part and when they are being truly themselves.
Which takes time and attention to details, something many don't have.

 ☮️ Coolchic Dee 💟's photo
Tue 12/26/17 12:17 PM



I think those vows should be changed to....”As long as we both think it’s a good idea”....! :laughing:
It just seems like when problems come along, and they will, nobody want to try to change
their ways to work things out....!



I think since marriage is now only legally a pursuit of happiness, we could change it to 'As long as we both are happy." And we would peg it on the nose.


Yes, that would probably work as well! :wink:

Toodygirl5's photo
Tue 12/26/17 02:30 PM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Tue 12/26/17 02:33 PM
Biblically a believer can divorce, if their spouse commits adultry. And can marry another only another believer. Problem is many don't even know Scripture so they stay in that marriage for years! The worldly non believers will divorce over just any reasons.