why do people get so upset when someone is looking for a friend with benifits? the way I see it if I am looking for a new significant other may as well start with fwb cause if that don't go well then why go into a permant relationship as companions for life. The other probkem I have is people obviously even read the profiles cause I get messages from people that don't even meet the criteria I posted on my page. don't peopke even know how to read and understand any more?

FWB usually doesn't work because one of them usually starts having expectations.
FWB implies no ties. On the surface it may seem like a wonderful arrangement but eventaully one of them will be seeking relationship responsibilities from the other. Its nearly impossible to have physical intimacy without forming intimate feelings.
Lots of men fall in love with their favorite hookers.
Lots of women fall in love with their sugar daddies.
FWB also implies that one can have other sexual partners.
Jealousy can work its way into the arrangement and then you are faced with more drama than you can handle.
Still, there are people that have FWB lifestyles that work for them. Personally, I think it would be a cold lonely life.
Everyone I've ever met wants to be loved.

Many are seeking friends with benefits, or just benefits without friendship.

That is common online. No need for people to get upset just move on if you see a profile like that, and it's not for you.

I'm seeking a spouse but Not on Mingle2

I date a man here where I live and have a man friend, out of state too.
I date from other Date site.

Because not everyone is into that and assuming is disrespectful

But people can read profiles online to see what someone is looking for

The trouble is, you've chosen a particular LABEL which has a very bad negative reputation with a lot of people.

If you are actively looking for an actual serious one on one mate, it's common and more generally accepted to want to have sex before committing to
marriage. So people often use a generic label like "dating," or don't bother labeling themselves at all.

But the label of "Friends With Benefits," commonly means the OPPOSITE of someone looking for a mate. It's essentially the same as saying you want casual sex only. It's for people who have no intention of committing exclusively to anyone, and want to have sex casually with friends, so that they can do so periodically without any sense of obligation to do anything else for said friends.

If you want what FWB actually means, go ahead and call for it. If you don't, then stop blaming everyone else for taking you at your own choice of words.

Ditto could not have said it any better~~~~

Because it's seen as basically an attempt to force someone into committing to having sex with you without the reciprocal demand of focus on developing a meaningful relationship where the person is valued as a person rather than a convenient means of guilt free sex.

Are you willing to take months/years to develop a meaningful "friends" relationship before attempting any "benefits?"

Same reason why some people get upset when a woman has "friends first!" on her profile.
It's an attempt to predefine expectations and boundaries (or lack of them) that the other person has to conform to.
If the terms of the label aren't adhered to, then the "fault" is in the person that accepted it.
"I told you what I was looking for from the beginning!"


The way a lot of people see it, is if you predefine the relationship it means that you are going to actively work against it changing to something else ("more"), as it's already fulfilling what you asked for in the beginning.

How many times have you read/heard "I didn't want to ruin the friendship! I didn't want to lose my friend!" or something similar. Basically, they were afraid to be honest, or take a risk, or try, because they feared losing what they already had.



Not really.
Have you seen what passes as "news?"
Headlines and emotional reactions and punditry.
People don't want to read, they just want quick emotional information.

What is a benefit for you might be seen as arrogant by readers.
A dead-end situation.
Why bother?

Hey Smexy! Whats up hotstuff??
;^)