no further off topic than the mulder and scully post you just made

There are some fascinating thoughts and ideas expressed in this thread including things that have never occurred to me. I always took "out of his/her/my/your league" comments to pertain to physical traits. Not to sound judgemental or superficial but haven't we all seen a really attractive person with a not-so-attractive someone of the opposite gender and thought "how did that happen?"

Granted, the perceived attractiveness of each person is a matter of opinion - and in that regard I can definitely see how/why some would dismiss the whole thing as teen-like nonsense as it most certainly does not take into account what is inside each person, the common experiences they share, etc.

Such an old fashioned statement ..it would surprise me if anyone really thought someone was out of their league .

I'm so sorry, but is there anyone really being honest here?
To me 'out of their league' has nothing to do with money, but more general.
Can be age, can be looks, can be level of education, can be level of happiness & positivity and any combination of these.
If someone PMs me who looks like he's lost his zest for life 20 yrs ago, is fat and/or unsightly (other word for 'ugly'), or way too old or too young, I do feel they are way out of their league.

It's being realistic, knowing who you are and what type of person matches that. And if you are being realistic and honest to yourself, you know when someone is out of your league, and a sane person wouldn't even approach them.

I don't guess I understand this topic. Really who decides if someone is out of their league? Opinion of others? Society? Opposites attract imo people of diffrent social backgrounds and race and attractiveness fall in love everyday.

I'm so sorry, but is there anyone really being honest here?
To me 'out of their league' has nothing to do with money, but more general.
Can be age, can be looks, can be level of education, can be level of happiness & positivity and any combination of these.
If someone PMs me who looks like he's lost his zest for life 20 yrs ago, is fat and/or unsightly (other word for 'ugly'), or way too old or too young, I do feel they are way out of their league.

It's being realistic, knowing who you are and what type of person matches that. And if you are being realistic and honest to yourself, you know when someone is out of your league, and a sane person wouldn't even approach them.

I would describe that as "not a match".
Maybe I don't understand out of the league..

I think "not a match" comes down to the same thing pretty much? Like you knowing Jennifer Anniston or a supermodel is out of your league, you know you aren't a match.
You have a brain and wouldn't go for that.
I was trying to phrase things politely, lol, don't want to offend anyone.
But to be blunt: when a man with 6 underchins PMs me, or a man 15+ yrs older, or a man who seems depressed and miserable, I do think "Man, you are WAY out of your league! Go fish in another pond, one with fish that are a match for you."
And yes, looks are important in that sense too. We all know it, just when we voice that people (pre)tend to be shocked and to not do it themselves.
But let's be honest: I don't want to wake up in the morning, open my eyes and have the Bejesus scared out of me when I see my partner.
I don't need him to be Brad Pitt (actually don't like him, but alas), but seeing him must make me smile and feel love, not "Oh god..."
So if someone like that approaches me I do wonder what the hell he's thinking.
And to be honest, I do wonder how many in here have been fibbing about not doing the exact same thing.
.
.

to me the difference between
outta my league versus not a match
is the beleif that one is superior rather than just not into them

The only ones that are out of our league are those we believe to be..We are all looking for similar things in life..mainly someone to love and to be loved back..I say that pretty much puts us all in the same "league"..Now we all may have different preferences but for me the term "out of my league" sort of intimates that one is inferior or superior to another..yea I just wont go there..Now do I get me shirt or not..

Right........ Op is not related to having money alone!!

Well easy on those exclamation points, yo!