What's your point?

You can't...FIND love.

Many will disagree with me but I do have reasons for that statement.

Love is something that is felt within.
It's 100% personal.
It can't be found, sold, boxed up and placed on a shelf, gathered in a circle, given to someone or pulled from someone.
Its a series of emotional states, manerisms and considerations we make within ourselves concerning how we "FEEL" for someone else.

Some of us are able to effectively demonstrate our feelings of love towards another but will only have an "effect" on how they feel about us. If they then 'feel' love for us in return, the love they 'feel' is also 100% personal within them.

The Search FOR Love is a romanticized delusion.
The search is for someone that you can love who may also feel love for you and is willing to demonstrate their feelings for you.
This is why its possible for you to feel love for someone yet they feel no love for you.

Personally, I don't search for love (Ihave plenty of love already).
I search for someone that might feel love for me that I can feel love for them in return. Someone who accepts my demonstration of love and demonstrates the love they feel for me in return.

If everything about her sets my heart on fire
AND
Everything about me sets her heart on fire
and we both demonstrate it towards one another
That's what I'm searching for.

I found a hundred dollar bill once. I really loved that thing.

My point exactly

I get all that. Simply fact of the matter is that if you do nothing you will get nothing.
If you want to find love, or want it to find you, you have to make sure it CAN find you.
If you sit on your bum all day indoors, it cannot come. You'll have to do something towards it, albeit go out so you are among people or go on dating sites so you can talk to people and can find someone or be found.
It's not like you sit on your rear end all day or every evening and weekend that someone is going to miraculously knock on your door to say "Here I am!!!"

And THAT'S what I was asking about. What do people do so they can find it, or in order to be found?
You can't find the love of your life when you do nothing. If that was the case we'd all have found them ages ago.

I don't get why I have to explain this, it's not rocket science, it's rather logical even though it's a feeling thing.
It's not unlike wanting a job. You won't find that either if you just sit on your rear end hoisting beer or whatever. You gotta take action.

I can make a spellbound love potion ... .. if anyone needs a little magic to find love

You don't have to explain it to me, Crystal. I got it!

If he doesn’t follow the trail of cookie crumbs, at least you get a snack.

I stop answering text and they stop texting me. It's ok, I have cats.

I'd say that about 95% of the men I've dated, I met by chance. I met someone at a flea market, in the supermarket, at the gym, Walking around town. I was on 1 blind date, which wasn't great. You see, I've been out and talk to people.

Will this potion make him 6' tall with brown curly hair, blue eyes, 6 figure income, faithful, and fun to be around?

5' 3 pot bellied and balding but all the rest yes

That's 1/4 of the guys on POF. The other 3/4 are that plus broke.

Peanut butter

LOL, I wasn't criticizing and I knew what you were implying.
I find it amazing how often people get mixed up because they are so accustomed to 'phrases' that are inaccurate.
I was merely pointing out the nature of the idea of "Finding" love phrasing and the real nature of love.

Love cannot be 'found', only 'felt'.

There are a great many people on dating sites that think they are going to "Find" love. Like it is a quest.
It sets them up for depression when they repeatedly do not "Find" love.

The best you can hope for is to 'find' someone that you can love and hope that they can love you too.

One thing to remember tho, is it love the feel for you or is it your own idea of love you think they feel? If it is love, it works out for both of you but if it isn't, that's when problems manifest and hearts get broken.

Women tell me they love me within 2 dates, sometimes on first meet.
That is because I treat people with dignity and respect and have the ability to make people feel welcome, secure and able to laugh.
There's way too many people that have been disrespected and used.
So much drama it makes me sick.
They love me because compared to the other guys they have met I am pleasantly weird and unique. I treat them different than what they expect and they immediately think they love ...ME.
Then, after the weird wears off and the unique becomes normal, they find they may not actually love ...ME.
That's why I won't tell a woman I love her till I get to know ... HER.

All of this.

I get so tired of people that say if you look for someone to be with, search for a compatible person, it won't happen...you can't force it...it just has to happen...
(you're trying too hard)

But yet those same people wouldn't use that criteria for *anything else* (looking for a job, finding a new house or apartment)...

Like you said..you *have* to put in effort..
Go places where people with similar interests will be (festivals, social events, galleries, what have you)...
Be on dating sites.
And so forth.

Like you said..if you sit home on your bum doing nothing..you'll never meet anyone.
Those people that say "the right person will just show up at your door....it will just happen"...I don't know what movies they saw, but...none of my long terms started that way...and no one I know had theirs start that way either...

If that romanticized, storybook thing happened to you or someone you know...fabulous...great..I am happy for them.

But, to me, it's like the Lottery.....you *can't* win if you don't play...

So true.

I spent years working in the restaurant business. That also meant I spent a lot of time at bars. Typically 3 bars in a night, but there were probably 6 or 7 that I went to on a somewhat regular basis. Never found anyone during all that time. Granted, I only made a handful of approaches, but like I've said, I'm an observer. I watch people to size them up before making a move. If I don't see anything personality-wise that interests me, it's generally not worth my time or effort.

But that's also why I've always been a proponent of women approaching men. What if I'm not seeing the full picture? What if **you** noticed something interesting about me instead that went beyond just appearances? In that scenario, **you** need to get my attention somehow if you're interested. Otherwise, you'll lose the opportunity.

For years I've joked about my initials standing for Clue and Less. I don't say that to demean myself. Rather, I'm human. I'm fallible. I can miss or overlook stuff unintentionally. Everybody does.

So yeah, you have place yourself in situations where something can happen. And sometimes, you have to go a little further, and actually **make** something happen. Maybe it doesn't work out in the long run, or maybe it actually does. Either way, you'll never know unless you take a chance. But none of us like to take blind chances. We like to know there's at least some potential before accepting the risk of rejection or failure.

Honestly, I've never met anyone in a supermarket. A couple possibilities at book stores and convenience stores. A few at libraries. But those aren't places I frequent on a regular basis.

I'd be more likely to meet someone by taking night classes or something.

But bars and clubs? Nope. Never worked for me, despite all the years of trying.

Even tried coffeehouses for awhile without any luck. And yet I thought for sure that women who went to coffeehouses had a much greater chance of compatibility than the bar scene.

to make the potion I have to risk a multitude of pricks (collecting gorse flowers ) hopefully that means the man who falls in love with you will be someone who is worthy

Only if it's pink, haha. I have this craze for pink of late