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Topic: Problematic
Toodygirl5's photo
Mon 10/22/18 10:15 AM
Why is it in some areas sexual abuse is so Prevalent !! Adults should be able to find a Consenting Adult. Is that so hard for a grown-up to do ?

Somethings are discussing ! Any suggestions ?




no photo
Mon 10/22/18 10:17 AM
Evil exists and some are too weak to resist it.

Real Tx Girl's photo
Mon 10/22/18 10:20 AM
Because there are a lot of perverted and unmoralized people in this world today.

no photo
Mon 10/22/18 06:01 PM
Why is it in some areas sexual abuse is so Prevalent

Could be all sorts of reasons.

Such as different cultures clashing.

Or it's part of the culture.

Or misunderstanding of a culture.

Or stereotypes causing a bias in reporting, so it's not really all that "prevalent" in one "area" compared to others, that's just what it seems like because that's all that's coming out about an area.

Maybe because that area is where all the sexual predators have to live as they're forbidden to live within certain other areas in the city.

Could be the definition of "sexual abuse" is different in one area than another.

Just depends on a lot of things.

You aren't all that clear with what you're referencing.

Adults should be able to find a Consenting Adult.

Says who?
And what if they can't?
When you say things like "should" that's another way of implying "entitled," or they potentially have a "right" to something.

If things "should" be a certain way, that's when people tend to come up with reasons why the government should send in the troops and laws and make it so.

Is that so hard for a grown-up to do ?

People have different ideas of what constitutes "hard to do."
Think of welfare. Some people think it's the hardest thing to do, to swallow their pride, ask for help, fill out the paperwork, go on the dole. whereas someone may be sitting at home and just see it as the easiest thing in the world to go after "free money." For some it is the easiest thing to do, and sometimes the person sitting at home making that judgment is right.

Sometimes people value that which is "hard to do" or taboo, or wrong, more than what is normal or easy to acquire.

Think about the common misconceptions between men and women.
A lot of men are all "women can get laid whenever they want! It's just easy for them!" so any suggestion by a woman for someone to just "control" themselves until they find some "consenting adult" because it's "easy" or not that "hard" to do is seen as offensive.

Other than that, what exactly and precisely determines/defines an "adult" and "consent," that is universal, so anyone with an i.q. between 76 and 200 is guaranteed there is absolutely no misunderstanding, in any situation, no matter the context or circumstances?


Any suggestions ?

Suggestions?
On what exactly? Again you aren't very clear.
To make sexual abuse just as prevalent in the areas where it's not right now?

Dodo_David's photo
Mon 10/22/18 08:14 PM

Why is it in some areas sexual abuse is so Prevalent !! Adults should be able to find a Consenting Adult. Is that so hard for a grown-up to do ?

Somethings are discussing ! Any suggestions ?



no photo
Mon 10/22/18 08:18 PM
Because those in power allow it to happen, even if they don't do it themselves. Why they allow it to happen...well..I would use these symbols :see_no_evil::speak_no_evil::hear_no_evil:, but there not right are they? Or are they? But you try do something about it, and see what happens. Either nothing, or something bad. But please forgive my sarcasm when I say, please remember to vote

Rock's photo
Mon 10/22/18 08:22 PM
On average, a sexual offender, will have committed
between 5 and 7 offenses, before they're caught the
first time.

After adjudication, incarceration, and counseling,
the recidivism (repeat offender) rate, is astronomical.

I've no idea WHY, it's prevalent in various areas.
But, I am thoroughly disgusted, that it is not a
death penalty crime.


MsLeeHM's photo
Mon 10/22/18 08:56 PM
Sexual abuse of children is often committed by a family member or someone close to the family. NOT strangers.

We know that within families incest is an intergenerational cycle with one generation passing the problem down to the next.

We also know that women who were abused often (NOT always) marry men who were either abused themselves or someone else in the family was abused.

Many mothers of victims were survivors themselves. They could not stop the abuse. Their mothers either didn't know or couldn't/wouldn't stop it.

Therefore it makes sense that family sticks together and marries into other families where there was also abuse. And that often creates the arena for more abuse into the next generation.

Silence keeps it going. As long as victims/survivors remain silent the abuse continues. I know one family that has well over 100 victims scattered over 5 generations. it is a perfect example of how the whole community seems to hide the secret while creating more victims.

BTW On average a male sexual offender, will have far more than 5-7 offences before he is caught. It is far closer to 50-70 offences before he is stopped. According to Cory Jewell Jensen co-director of the Center for Behavioral Intervention in Beaverton, Ore., “Most child sex offenders commit dozens of crimes before they are apprehended.” but that is one of the lowest numbers that I have researched.

oldkid46's photo
Tue 10/23/18 04:23 PM
First of all there is no clear definition of sexual abuse. Recently some lady called police and accused a 9 year old of groping her. The store video showed his backpack brushed against her - some stretch to call that sexual assault!! It seems the younger generation is more prone to seeing actions as sexually offensive than an older population and there are more situations where a younger person is exposed to the possibility.

As for the OP's comment on finding a consenting adult, she is so full of BS on that subject that the comment is laughable!!!! My guess is that 50% of the men get 90+% of the available sex. Most of them are also probably under 50 as many post-menopausal women aren't very interested in having an active sex life.

oldkid46's photo
Tue 10/23/18 04:31 PM
Suggestions:
1. Legalize prostitution
2. Require every woman to have sex with a man at least twice a month
3. Boycott celebrities that show most of themselves
4. Create life-size female robots capable of sex
5 Allow men to sponsor and support female immigrants as partners

Toodygirl5's photo
Tue 10/23/18 04:48 PM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Tue 10/23/18 04:50 PM
@Ciretom

You put a lot of thought into the thread ! Interesting comments I enjoyed reading yours.


Toodygirl5's photo
Tue 10/23/18 04:58 PM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Tue 10/23/18 04:59 PM

Sexual abuse of children is often committed by a family member or someone close to the family. NOT strangers.

We know that within families incest is an intergenerational cycle with one generation passing the problem down to the next.

We also know that women who were abused often (NOT always) marry men who were either abused themselves or someone else in the family was abused.

Many mothers of victims were survivors themselves. They could not stop the abuse. Their mothers either didn't know or couldn't/wouldn't stop it.

Therefore it makes sense that family sticks together and marries into other families where there was also abuse. And that often creates the arena for more abuse into the next generation.

Silence keeps it going. As long as victims/survivors remain silent the abuse continues. I know one family that has well over 100 victims scattered over 5 generations. it is a perfect example of how the whole community seems to hide the secret while creating more victims.

BTW On average a male sexual offender, will have far more than 5-7 offences before he is caught. It is far closer to 50-70 offences before he is stopped. According to Cory Jewell Jensen co-director of the Center for Behavioral Intervention in Beaverton, Ore., “Most child sex offenders commit dozens of crimes before they are apprehended.” but that is one of the lowest numbers that I have researched.


@MSLeeHM
Thanks for sharing this information ! it is very Horrible to think this really goes on in some places. However, I realize you are probably right .



MsLeeHM's photo
Thu 10/25/18 12:13 AM
There are very clear definitions of sexual abuse, both legally and socially. That doesn’t mean everyone knows or understands them.

Older people most likely know when the line has been crossed. However, they are also most likely not willing to talk about it.

As for your guesses. ... well they are just guesses. What we do know for sure is that many perpetrators have a legally of age sexual partner. That does not stop them from abusing children.

Just like sexual assault isn’t about the sex the same is true of the sexual abuse of children. They want the power it takes to control another human being. Sex is the way the get it mixed in with a lot of fear.

MsLeeHM's photo
Thu 10/25/18 12:26 AM

Suggestions:
1. Legalize prostitution
2. Require every woman to have sex with a man at least twice a month
3. Boycott celebrities that show most of themselves
4. Create life-size female robots capable of sex
5 Allow men to sponsor and support female immigrants as partners


Your comments are uninformed and misogynistic.. Force all women to have sex twice a month??? That is what I would call sexual slavery. Who would need prostitutes if any woman could be forced regardless of marital status, health, fatigue, lack of desire, or the god old headache. It wouldn’t even matter who the man would be. Just grab a woman and do your business.

And then you take it a step further by saying we should bring women into the country for the sole purpose of having sex.

I truly feel very sorry for any woman who dates you. I have lived with some of your “suggestions”. All they did was make me feel dirty, abused and good for only one thing. No one will ever treat me like that again. EVER

Toodygirl5's photo
Thu 10/25/18 06:35 AM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Thu 10/25/18 06:37 AM
@MsLeeHM

Thank you for taking the time to write your responses to this thread. I can see you know a lot about this problem in Society.

You put your time and concern. In your answers and I appreciate that. flowerforyou

So often people reply and the responses are not serious but actually make a joke out of serious matters addressing people's lives.

Thanks. waving

Toodygirl5's photo
Thu 10/25/18 06:43 AM
[:thumbsup: quote]

Suggestions:
1. Legalize prostitution
2. Require every woman to have sex with a man at least twice a month
3. Boycott celebrities that show most of themselves
4. Create life-size female robots capable of sex
5 Allow men to sponsor and support female immigrants as partners


Your comments are uninformed and misogynistic.. Force all women to have sex twice a month??? That is what I would call sexual slavery. Who would need prostitutes if any woman could be forced regardless of marital status, health, fatigue, lack of desire, or the god old headache. It wouldn’t even matter who the man would be. Just grab a woman and do your business.

And then you take it a step further by saying we should bring women into the country for the sole purpose of having sex.

I truly feel very sorry for any woman who dates you. I have lived with some of your “suggestions”. All they did was make me feel dirty, abused and good for only one thing. No one will ever treat me like that again. EVER



:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Totto's photo
Thu 10/25/18 07:22 AM
Edited by Totto on Thu 10/25/18 07:23 AM
This is a hard subject for me to talk about because I'm a victim of sexual abuse by both a man and a woman.
I will not pretend to have any answer because the whole thing is beyond me and reading the replies on this thread proves that most people do not understand sexual predators and what animates them.
I understand that sexual predators are members of both genders and so that tells me that it isn't about sex or the lack of it.
I don't know what would take care of the problem but I know that pointing the finger at anything that moves isn't the answer and legalizing prostitution isn't either.
Europe has some countries where prostitution is legal and that hasn't help to curb or eliminate sexual abuse.
What I do know is that victims of sexual abuse must be taken seriously, listened to and helped, especially when they report it not long afterward and the abuser's identity is known by police.
As a victim, I feel that psychiatry and psychology has failed us, creating more sympathy for the abuser than for the abused.




actionlynx's photo
Thu 10/25/18 09:47 AM
Edited by actionlynx on Thu 10/25/18 09:48 AM

This is a hard subject for me to talk about because I'm a victim of sexual abuse by both a man and a woman.
I will not pretend to have any answer because the whole thing is beyond me and reading the replies on this thread proves that most people do not understand sexual predators and what animates them.
I understand that sexual predators are members of both genders and so that tells me that it isn't about sex or the lack of it.
I don't know what would take care of the problem but I know that pointing the finger at anything that moves isn't the answer and legalizing prostitution isn't either.
Europe has some countries where prostitution is legal and that hasn't help to curb or eliminate sexual abuse.
What I do know is that victims of sexual abuse must be taken seriously, listened to and helped, especially when they report it not long afterward and the abuser's identity is known by police.
As a victim, I feel that psychiatry and psychology has failed us, creating more sympathy for the abuser than for the abused.






I agree with most of this. Abuse is difficult to understand. The concept of it is so foreign to most of us that we really can't even imagine why someone would do it.

And I do believe that the psychiatric community has failed us on a number of levels, though not always due to a lack of will or effort. It's actually something I hope to improve in the future as I travel down my new career path.

As for creating more sympathy for the abuser than the abused, I'm not sure that's the psychiatric community's fault. The blame for that could fall more on the media, education, and sociology. It's the same rationale as "Not my kid" or "Not in my backyard". Rejection and denial are unfortunately a part of human nature. But that only means that media and education have a moral and social responsibility to offset those inherent negative traits that generate a harmful mob mentality born from ignorance.

Thanks for sharing something so personal though. I hope it opens a few people's eyes.

Totto's photo
Thu 10/25/18 12:45 PM


This is a hard subject for me to talk about because I'm a victim of sexual abuse by both a man and a woman.
I will not pretend to have any answer because the whole thing is beyond me and reading the replies on this thread proves that most people do not understand sexual predators and what animates them.
I understand that sexual predators are members of both genders and so that tells me that it isn't about sex or the lack of it.
I don't know what would take care of the problem but I know that pointing the finger at anything that moves isn't the answer and legalizing prostitution isn't either.
Europe has some countries where prostitution is legal and that hasn't help to curb or eliminate sexual abuse.
What I do know is that victims of sexual abuse must be taken seriously, listened to and helped, especially when they report it not long afterward and the abuser's identity is known by police.
As a victim, I feel that psychiatry and psychology has failed us, creating more sympathy for the abuser than for the abused.






I agree with most of this. Abuse is difficult to understand. The concept of it is so foreign to most of us that we really can't even imagine why someone would do it.

And I do believe that the psychiatric community has failed us on a number of levels, though not always due to a lack of will or effort. It's actually something I hope to improve in the future as I travel down my new career path.

As for creating more sympathy for the abuser than the abused, I'm not sure that's the psychiatric community's fault. The blame for that could fall more on the media, education, and sociology. It's the same rationale as "Not my kid" or "Not in my backyard". Rejection and denial are unfortunately a part of human nature. But that only means that media and education have a moral and social responsibility to offset those inherent negative traits that generate a harmful mob mentality born from ignorance.

Thanks for sharing something so personal though. I hope it opens a few people's eyes.


You're welcome. Both incidents happened when I was under 10 and while I'm mostly over it, it hurts to read how much people are ignorant on the subject.
It hurts even more, being a man, when I read articles on sexual abuse with insinuations pointing at men being the "main" perpetrators while completely ignoring that women are perpetrators, too, and they usually end up being facilitators of said abuse. It isn't a one-gender problem. Let's get that understood once and for all.
I think sexual abuse conviction on a child should carry the death penalty by firing squad but that's just me.

MsLeeHM's photo
Thu 10/25/18 01:26 PM

This is a hard subject for me to talk about because I'm a victim of sexual abuse by both a man and a woman.
I will not pretend to have any answer because the whole thing is beyond me and reading the replies on this thread proves that most people do not understand sexual predators and what animates them.
I understand that sexual predators are members of both genders and so that tells me that it isn't about sex or the lack of it.
I don't know what would take care of the problem but I know that pointing the finger at anything that moves isn't the answer and legalizing prostitution isn't either.
Europe has some countries where prostitution is legal and that hasn't help to curb or eliminate sexual abuse.
What I do know is that victims of sexual abuse must be taken seriously, listened to and helped, especially when they report it not long afterward and the abuser's identity is known by police.
As a victim, I feel that psychiatry and psychology has failed us, creating more sympathy for the abuser than for the abused.


I am sorry this happened to you. Thank you for speaking out. You have been heard. I too was abused by both genders. Sadly it creates another layer of issues for the victim to deal with.

If children are given the freedom, information and safety they need, they will often report. Too often though children are warned not to talk or experience so much guilt and shame over the abuse that they never tell anyone until years later.

All the abuser wants is silence. All the victims want is to be heard and believed. One of my abusers who WAS reported to the police, later had a job as a school crossing guard!!! Most likely that was before registries that might have excluded him from that job. But that never should have happened. Canada needs an open sexual offender registry like many other countries.

A few years ago I was invited by a class of medical students to speak to them about child sexual abuse. They said that in their entire 8 years or more of training they had only 1/2 hour of training into the issue. They clearly realized that was not enough and did something about it.

Believe me all my fellow students in my programs knew all about child sexual abuse. Each one of them heard me make presentations about all aspects of the issue. At least I knew they had a good basic knowledge of the issue that victims have to face

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