I have done long distance and that didn’t work well for me. I’ve also done international and that didn’t work and was totally unrealistic.

First for the long distance is contact. Phone calls add up so you better have a really good plan. Then the visits. Some men think just because they came to meet you that means you will jump into bed with them. Ummm No. you are still a stranger to me. Getting to know a person face to face is very different that emails, phone calls and Skype. I still need to find out who you are and whether what you said before matches the person in front of me. No matter how long we talked to each other meeting for the first time is a new beginning and it takes time to see who that person is. I’m not into booty calls no matter how far you travel.

Then there is an international border. If you do hit it off someone will eventually have to move. This isn’t like moving from one city to another or one province/state to another. A little something like immigration is involved. So first you take time to build the relationship but one has to move. That means leaving your family, grown kids and grandchildren if you have them.

If money for family visits is tight them you might have some difficult choices to make.

And the immigration process can take at least 2 years and often longer. If you have not retired you would also need a work visa AND a waiting job for you. Or your partner should be rich enough to support you (sponsor). For some it might mean losing their pension which means you would be entirely dependent on the other person.

And it means that if you want to try an end run around the immigration process you need to get married.

Add in the cost if moving your belongings.

And what happens if it doesn’t work out?

So I have men say they will move anywhere. Today one person thought Ottawa was in the US. As far as I know Trump has not invaded Canada and the last time the US tried that we burned down the White House.

So geography. Washington is the capital of the USA. Ottawa is the capital of Canada. We even have different flags.

So if you try international then a few months or longer to get to know one another and at least another 2 years before you can legally immigrate and be together.

Personally this is just not interesting to me at all.

Good assessment.
I do neither.
Others might find this interesting tho.

LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS
LDR might work for some people. Like all relationship specifics its all up to the individuals in the relationship.
When I was married and in the service I had a temporary LDR with my X. It was pretty tough and we already knew each other well, having met, courted, being engaged and being married with a child. I freakin hated the LDR with her and my son.

I had an LDR after my marriage ended with a woman in Ohio. I lived in Mississippi. I loaded up all I owned and moved to be with her. I chose poorly. I ended up moving back to Mississippi alone after I realized that.
The LDR seemed great, she seemed wonderful, till I started being with her everyday, then I saw the ugly underbelly she hid from me.

If I can't see someone unscripted, in their natural environment, I'm just no longer interested. I am a spontaneous person. I might call my girlfriend up in the morning with plans for the afternoon or want to meet up for lunch. Thirty minutes to an hour drive is the max I will enter into a relationship with. Anything over an hour and its not going to be spontaneous.

INTERNATIONAL RELATIONSHIPS
I don't fly, period. I love flying but I refuse to be subjected to searches and inconvenience related to flying anymore.
I no longer have a valid passport. I'm not interested in getting a valid passport.
I can't sponsor someone from another country. I am on fixed income.
There are plenty of women in my own age bracket in these United States.
Refer to my stance on LDR.

I would consider seeing a woman from a different country that already has a green card and is in this country legally. I would not consider a woman that is here illegally and if I found out she was here illegally, I'd drop her like a hot chunk of steel and tell her to get legal or leave.

I once met a woman that was from Russia. She was legal. While I thought her customs were erotic and different she was so extreme, our personalities clashed.

The advice I can add...CHOOSE WISELY.

Agreed it isn’t for everyone. I would like to see my family more often not less often.

I married a man who lived in Canada just from a different province. BIG MISTAKE. He hid so much from me even during the 2 years we lived together before we were married. Missing the holidays with my family was really hard. And it cost a few thousand to move back. But the lies and his reactions to things when they weren’t going his way were deal breakers for me.

A very costly lesson

And I like being spontaneous and LDR don’t allow for that

Long distance / international borders, have killed many
a potential romance.

For me, it was a lady in Canada.

She didn't want to become American,
and i didn't want to become Canadian.

I don't really get that logic? My daughter was married to an American for 5 years but she's still Dutch. She could choose to become American, have dual citizenship even, but she didn't.
My ex was British, has been living in the country for over 25 years, he's still a British citizen. He would never ever change that either.

Very good points from the OP.
Add to it the possibility you won't feel at home in the new country and its culture.
That's what happened to my daughter. Apart from her husband being an a-hole, she couldn't get used to America and didn't resonates with Americans.
She was withering, very lonely. All she had was her a-hole husband, her dog, and friends & family in Holland to talk to via Skype.
Then her husband got deployed and she almost broke down: no one anymore for 9 months on end.
So she came back to Holland for a long summer holiday, basically to escape the loneliness and to be with her many friends over here again.
Then it broke her heart to have to go back to the US, leaving all her friends behind and her social life here.
In the end she came back, after 5 years.
Now she's very happy, loads of friends and a great loving man she moved in with a few weeks ago.

So it's not just the cost, the risk of it not working out with the partner. It's also the new country and culture and its people that have to match.

I make it plain, US Citizens Only. I have no plans to date any man outside of US

I ve met Inperson a couple of men who lived out of State no problem.

They were gentlemen and traveled here to My city.

All other inperson meets were within 2hrs and 4hrs away.

I look for older secure Men who haven't a problem Traveling.

well long ditnce relationship goes with lots of risks but it could be curteled wth constant comunication

And, in your very next post, you agreed
that there's a possibility, that one might
not feel at home in the country or culture.

That's the logic.

It isn't so much about becoming a legal citizen
of another country.

But it’s great being Canadian! You should have tried it.

Ah, okay, thanks for explaining. And yep, cultural differences cannot always be overcome by love.

nothing wrong with a long distance romance...forbid we have some love in this world,smh, just don't take it to seriously, and remember they can hurt just as badly when they end

I remember using AOL to date.
I remember running into a lot of women that moved across country because of some online fantasy that didn't come true, that then ran back to the internet ASAP to find someone local to their new home because they were left high and dry, kicked out, and needed somewhere to live, or emotional support, or a means to get back, or advice, or "just friends" that could help them.

Was kinda like expatriates moving to China then being fired and not knowing what to do, so they went online to the relationship job bank scrambling for what they just lost.

Sad.

I haven't heard of it much anymore, but I'm older and tend to talk to older people, rather than those in their 20's when I was too.

IME it's kids and old people that never grew up that chase the disney love fantasy over the border (as opposed to the pervert fetish fantasy that chase the, for example, thai sex tours and find love in exotic lands).

I believe if you look at current U.S. immigration laws, the "end run" via marriage doesn't work anymore here. The laws were changed because of immigrant spouses who robbed their marital partners of all their money, then returned home to evade being caught. So now the laws are tougher, making the process longer.

Canada may be different.

As for the phone calls...

When my ex was still in Jamaica, I had free unlimited calls. Many unlimited plans include a list of countries where there is no toll charge for calling. The list usually includes much of Latin America and the Caribbean.

As for domestic calls, many plans now have unlimited nationwide calls. Or they simply use minutes without any extra charge.

Another way around the phone bill is to do video calls via internet. Skype always charged, but Yahoo Messenger did not. Now Yahoo Messenger is gone. But I'm sure there are other apps out there which still have free video calls.

When you're doing a LDR, video calls are pretty much necessary anyway, just for your own protection. It also adds a new level of intimacy to the relationship, not just because you can see each other, but you also see body language and can share parts of your life, like introducing people you know, or do video tours of your home or neighborhood, etc. It simply allows you to share more with each other than you can in a phone conversation.

For instance, when I dated the Filipina who was working in Israel, she had 2 video calls going at once. I was able to see her mother and her two sons while she spoke with them.

With her, immigration wasn't a problem because of her line of work. When her contract was due to expire, she could ask her agent to find her a job in a certain country and region. If one was found, she could easily get a work visa. If the job then went well, she could get that visa renewed. The agent would take care of the paperwork for her.

But I do agree that one has to choose wisely when it comes to considering any long distance relationship. Too many people view trust as a one-way street.

I have been involved for a while with a lovely lass from Philippines we actually used cam to can.to see each other and use to chat on Facebook messenger.

But recently she seems a bit distant ( meaning she isnt talking to me like she used to ) should i be worried ?

Ask her what's wrong and tell her about your concerns. If she was honest, she will tell you. But you have to take that risk.

Hi

As far as the communication and sharing, long distance is a good thing. But NEVER EVER go for matrimonial or physical kind of relationship. It never lasts. Long distance is good to know people Thier culture, language, rituals and so on so forth. But nothing more than that.