Most of my interests live hundreds of miles away. Oftentimes, I get messages from men in my State. I declined friendship and they take it as if I should like them just because they are in my State.

Most Men want a Woman Close to home. Or she has to move to him.

Attraction and Chemistry has no boundaries.

My issue is "where is home?". I have several parts of the country where I spend time. That means if I am going to have a "friend", I either need several or one that is comfortable traveling to different places. Most older women are not interested in that and wish to stay close to their friends and families.

I've always been open to moving house to be with a man, even if it was a couple of hours from where I currently live. A few provinces I didn't want to live in.
As it is now, things have changed a bit for me.
I now have BOTH my children very close to me and I am enjoying seeing them regularly so much that I am not not so easily inclined to move far away.
This has especially to do with the fact that I see my daughter every week now and I've had to miss her for 5 years when she was in the USA.
I now realize just how unbelievable much I have missed her and what I've missed out on, how important it is. So for me things are different now as well.
I still believe wholeheartedly that I too have my own life to live, I'm not just a mother, I'm much more. But right now I'm not sure if I'd be eager or willing to move for instance 2 hours away from my kids. That would make it impossible again to see my children regularly.
Due to circumstances, I've missed out too much when it comes to my kids, during their teenage years as well. It's like a wound that has to heal first.
So for the first time ever I now also say "My kids come first."
I might still move, but there might have to be compromises on his side just the same.

Also... to be honest... Why is it almost woman who has to move? These days there are plenty of women who have a career and jobs and their own home even.
But it's talked about as if it's normal and set in stone that the woman moves.

At my age it can also be an issue to move in to either one's house if for instance people own their own home. THere's the inheritance thing.
For instance:
I've moved in with my ex in his own home. Had he passed away I would've been f*(ked. His kids would inherit the house and I'd be in the street with my 2 kids and my furniture with no place to go.
Apart from that, he could have thrown me out whenever he wanted to as it was his house. I had no rights.
I won't ever do that again!

Meaning if something similar was to happen, I'd want the man to have a legal act (testament) made up to register that if something would happen to him I could stay in the house until my dying day.
Then there's still the inheritance matter. If I'm to pay half of the mortgage, I want in on that as well, and not pay for his kids' benefit only.

All that stuff is more difficult at this age, cos if it wouldn't work out, you're stuck with owning half a house.
Tricky chit, and very expensive to have officially registered. About E700 (approx $800)

I have family, friends, my home here where I live. I agree that Women should always be the one who moves.

Online men seem to think that way. I met a man from miles away from me. We met in person yet he wanted me to Move. I have sons and friends near me. Also had good job.


Women don't have to move just for a Man. Maybe for a Serious Relationship like marriage.

I'm not sure I understand, are you just not interested in local men?

do you prefer out of town men for a particular reason? Or


Do you just want them gone after the date?

No I'm not interested in Local men! I prefer out of town men , Yes, for Personal reasons. If the date doesn't work out for a relationship, I want them gone.

LOL, some of the responses make me chuckle.

Personally, and really, I can only comment on my own personal preferences and understanding.
But, I'm weird.

I will not entertain a woman that is not withing driving range and with my health, that range shrinks more and more every year.
Not because I an not willing to go to them (I have in the past) but because I would not even think of demanding they give up their comfort to be with me.
That is so effin selfish!

Being unable to make long trips (my health) and not really looking to relocate because I am actually pretty contented with where I currently reside, My area of interest is shrinking steadily.

Even if I met a woman willing to relocate to me, it would give me pause because I know first hand what has to be given up to relocate.

She would need to prove certain things before I would agree with her on coming to me.
1. Does she have a valid reason to move to my area? (Besides love for me)
2. Has she addressed her family and friends issues that could occur from such a move?
3. If things don't work out with us, is she prepared to make a life for herself here?
4. Can she support herself in the local economy here?
5. Has she given thought to the things in her life that she might have to give up to come be with me?

Things that I have experienced or witnessed a woman experience due to relocation:
Item 1: I have seen a woman relocate for a man, found out he lied, contacted me and used my good, caring nature to pay her way back to her home state.
I saw the pain it gave her because she chose poorly and I sacrificed to give her peace again because I an not a monster.
Item 2: I experienced a problem with a woman that came to live with me that did not address issues with her daughter or granddaughter and it was a constant issue that interfered with building our relationship in the here and now. To give her peace of mind, she returned to her family.
Item 3: I have been displaced from a move that took me across the country and when it didn't work out between us I was not only homeless, I was in a place I really didn't care for.
Item 4: I am NOT a sugar daddy. I don't NEED a sugar mamma. I nearly went broke thinking that love was more important than money. See, when push comes to shove, if you can't pay your bills because a woman is requiring you to spend all your money on her, you drop the leach and pay your bills. You may find yourself living in a cardboard box under a bridge if you don't.
Item 5: Nothing ruins a relationship more than animosity from having to sacrifice what is important to you. In my experience, women, but in other's experiences it might be the men that use sacrifices as a weapon.
I need a woman to understand that the things that she sacrifices to be near me are things that she chose to sacrifice.
"Well, I could be...or Well, I could have been..." is something I am no longer willing to tolerate.
She has to understand that it is of her own choice to give those things up and I personally, have nothing to do with her choice, except for the reasons she chooses to assign to me.

So, give me local.
Give me a woman that relocates to me and understands all the significance of that decision.

With ALL that being said, If you come to my town to get together for a night on the town, I'll show you a great times and have fun with you.
Just don't attempt to come on to me as a possible relationship choice without understanding where I am with this.

Let's say Toodygirl5 was in town for some reason. She contacts me to get together. I say yes.
Knowing that she has to leave soon to go back to her life, I adjust my interactions to a friendship, activity partner kind of date.
Once she spends time with me she might want to be closer to me, I would expect her to act as an adult and explore all the things related to a relocation.
I would advise her NOT to relocate 'for me'.
Not because I may be unworthy, but because as a friend, I want her to do what is right for her.
Sure, we might have an incredible match.
Sure, I might welcome her to come and be here with me.
But, is it the right thing to do from her perspective?

Relocating MUST be done above and beyond any love you might feel at the time.
Relocating 'for love' is not a wise choice in most cases.
That 'love' will not provide for your personal needs.
That 'love' will not sustain you or pay your way 'home' if it fails.
Gotta use your head and make an informed decision.

@Tom
I enjoyed reading your response. You are so upfront and truthful. I f more people online would be like this, it woul be less confusion about dating and Relationships. You rarely get truth Online.

I would think most mature people would know this but they don't and act like teens or young 20's.

Some men are willing to move to be with a certain woman, and unwilling to move to a certain woman.

For instance I'm not willing to move into a one room shack with any woman but I'd be willing to move to be with woman who has a mansion with an ocean view and a dock that can handle her yacht.

@smartazz

I would love to have 'friends' anywhere. I would love friends with similar interestes and values and experiences to bond over too.

My problem is most messages I get are not men who are really considering 'friends', but looking for love interests or wives, or who say they seek friendship but dont seem to have any common interests or experience.

Those get declined.

I'm a lazy bastard. If she is more then 100 miles from me.. it ain't happening. To each his own but I would never just " move" because of a person

A few years there was a guy and gal who met here and I got to know both of them.. Nice people. she was from Asia, him from Kansas ( or somewhere near there)

He flew over there once and then they decided to get married... and he moved to Asia............

Better man then I, that's or sure

@greeneyes
Thanks for sharing a success story from Mingle2.
Very few have one.

:)

:)

Toody, I know what you mean when you say that men think you will be interested in them just because you live in the same state. That's not how it works.

So true ! Most have nothing on Their profile and unattractive.

OK now I'm wondering what women in my state think of my profile. Please don't confuse me wondering what they think with CARING what they think!!!

I can have 'e-friends' anywhere in the world.
I'm open to friendships.


As for rwlationships/dating?
Well... I'm not interested in an LDR.

And local dating?
Well.... Locals are chit out of luck, too.



I may have inadvertently 'hinted'
a few times, that I'm already in a
relationship.

I am agree with you opinion, attraction and chemistry have no boundaries, distance is a small in front of chemistry.