Topic: Being careful goes both ways, and yet, guys always give *me*
I_love_bluegrass's photo
Sat 08/24/19 10:10 AM
Edited by I_love_bluegrass on Sat 08/24/19 11:08 AM
Bad thigs can happen to GUYS also, if they don't screen carefully/ do due dilligence...and yet they seem oblivious to that fact.

I'll be da**ed if I am going to be pressued into meeting someone even at a public place before I feel comfortable.

Don't like that/ agree?
Fine, die mad about it, I don't care....laugh
My safety is more importsant to me than the opinion of some pushy guy.

http://www.newschannel5.com/news/man-made-victim-of-attempted-robbery-at-stone-ridge-apartments-while-meeting-woman-he-first-met-online

no photo
Sat 08/24/19 10:16 AM
Urban legend has it that there's a guy who had a kidney taken while he slept after some date.surprised


I like my kidneys where they are smitten

motowndowntown's photo
Sat 08/24/19 10:31 AM
It's a rough world out there. Try not to be an idiot. Or the slowest one at the water-hole.

oldkid46's photo
Sat 08/24/19 10:56 AM
There are things we all should do to help keep us safe. Unfortunately, in this day and age anything really bad that happens to someone in a dating situation makes the headline news. What we fail to consider is what is the chance of that happening to us? Everything in life has a risk. When we refuse to take a risk we also refuse the possible gain from that risk. Everyone needs to make their own call on that just weigh the risk and the possible gain when you do. Life will never be totally safe, an F16 might crash where you are at the moment!!

oldkid46's photo
Sat 08/24/19 10:58 AM
Edited by oldkid46 on Sat 08/24/19 11:02 AM

Bad thigs can happen to GUYS also, if they don't screen carefully/ do due dilligence...and yet they seem oblivious to that fact.

I'll be da**ed if I am going to be pressued into meeting someone even at a public place before I feel comfortable.

Don't like that/ agree?
Fine, die mad about it, I don't care....laugh
My safety is more importsant to me than the opinion of some pushy guy.

https://www.newschannel5.com/news/man-made-victim-of-attempted-robbery-at-stone-ridge-apartments-while-meeting-woman-he-first-met-online

Bad link, took me to a home improvement ad. Try this one: https://www.newschannel5.com/news/man-made-victim-of-attempted-robbery-at-stone-ridge-apartments-while-meeting-woman-he-first-met-online

Dodo_David's photo
Sat 08/24/19 11:04 AM

My safety is more important to me than the opinion of some pushy guy.


Exactly. A woman isn't obligated to give in to a guy who is desperate for a date.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Sat 08/24/19 11:08 AM


Bad thigs can happen to GUYS also, if they don't screen carefully/ do due dilligence...and yet they seem oblivious to that fact.

I'll be da**ed if I am going to be pressued into meeting someone even at a public place before I feel comfortable.

Don't like that/ agree?
Fine, die mad about it, I don't care....laugh
My safety is more importsant to me than the opinion of some pushy guy.

https://www.newschannel5.com/news/man-made-victim-of-attempted-robbery-at-stone-ridge-apartments-while-meeting-woman-he-first-met-online

Bad link, took me to a home improvement ad. Try this one: https://www.newschannel5.com/news/man-made-victim-of-attempted-robbery-at-stone-ridge-apartments-while-meeting-woman-he-first-met-online

Link works fine, you just got to remove the S in httpS as Mingle cannot digest links with S

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Sat 08/24/19 11:11 AM
I think that was an extreme case.
Thousands of people date, I think it's pretty safe to say 99% of those are just fine.
You just gotta use your brain, the same as when you go out for the first time with a guy you met in real life.

I_love_bluegrass's photo
Sat 08/24/19 11:21 AM
Edited by I_love_bluegrass on Sat 08/24/19 11:28 AM
There was this guy last year.

He lived in an adjoining city...and, as there wasn't much *here* to do/ decent restaurants...I decided to go there...

However, *his* genius idea was (instead of *anything* else he could have suggested) that I park my car (since *I* had driven *there), and get in his car....and we go for a ride in the country up to Dale Hollow lake (almost an hour away)....and walk around..

Four thimngs:

1. It was late February, and...while not freezing cold..not exactly conducive to walking around outdoors..it was damp and chilly.

2. I have been to that lake and surrounding areas MANY times...
Sparsely inhabited....most roads there are long and winding....not exactly the place I'd want to be with a total stranger.

3. Having been there many times, I knew *I* had no cell service there, so, in the event of a bad situtation..I'd have no way to call for help...

4. I told him that didn't seem like a good idea, i wasn't all that comfortable with that sugggestion....how about something else?
(numerous other things we could do there, BTW)

He proceeded to lambast me about having trust issues/ being paranoid, etc....
Thereby proving that he was up to no good..
A decent guy wouldn't haven't suggested that in the first place (unless he was totally clueless about a woman's concern for safety), or would have said "yeah, you're probably right..." and agreed on some other activity..
NOT gotten angry and judgey.

----> I pointed out that it wasn't a good idea for him, either..being in a remote place with someone he didn't know...I could have some guy follow me, and follow us oit there, and beat and rob him...
But, he didn't hear/ acknowledge that...*I* was the one with the problem..

Whatever, darlin'....

Now, maybe he had only honorable intentions, maybe he would have been completely safe, maybe I offended him....but, as a woman...no nearby people, and no cell service, I do not think *I* was in the wrong to decline that activity.

And that GUYS need to be careful as well....a proposed meet up with a woman *could* be a set up...just be cautious and use common sense.


no photo
Sat 08/24/19 11:34 AM
Online dating now, just isn't as much fun as it used to be.sad2

oldkid46's photo
Sat 08/24/19 12:13 PM

There was this guy last year.

He lived in an adjoining city...and, as there wasn't much *here* to do/ decent restaurants...I decided to go there...

However, *his* genius idea was (instead of *anything* else he could have suggested) that I park my car (since *I* had driven *there), and get in his car....and we go for a ride in the country up to Dale Hollow lake (almost an hour away)....and walk around..

Four thimngs:

1. It was late February, and...while not freezing cold..not exactly conducive to walking around outdoors..it was damp and chilly.

2. I have been to that lake and surrounding areas MANY times...
Sparsely inhabited....most roads there are long and winding....not exactly the place I'd want to be with a total stranger.

3. Having been there many times, I knew *I* had no cell service there, so, in the event of a bad situtation..I'd have no way to call for help...

4. I told him that didn't seem like a good idea, i wasn't all that comfortable with that sugggestion....how about something else?
(numerous other things we could do there, BTW)

He proceeded to lambast me about having trust issues/ being paranoid, etc....
Thereby proving that he was up to no good..
A decent guy wouldn't haven't suggested that in the first place (unless he was totally clueless about a woman's concern for safety), or would have said "yeah, you're probably right..." and agreed on some other activity..
NOT gotten angry and judgey.

----> I pointed out that it wasn't a good idea for him, either..being in a remote place with someone he didn't know...I could have some guy follow me, and follow us oit there, and beat and rob him...
But, he didn't hear/ acknowledge that...*I* was the one with the problem..

Whatever, darlin'....

Now, maybe he had only honorable intentions, maybe he would have been completely safe, maybe I offended him....but, as a woman...no nearby people, and no cell service, I do not think *I* was in the wrong to decline that activity.

And that GUYS need to be careful as well....a proposed meet up with a woman *could* be a set up...just be cautious and use common sense.


I too would decline such an invite!! It is like being invited to a strangers home for the initial visit - not going to happen. There are too many relatively safe places and ways to meet for the first few times until we get to know each other than some high risk situation. Just stupid and asking for trouble!!!!

Blah's photo
Sat 08/24/19 12:58 PM
There are alot of big, bad, scary stories,
about big, bad, scary people on the internet.
Some are based in truth, and some evolved
from stories that existed, long before the internet.

That being said, it is always wise to proceed with
caution.


no photo
Sat 08/24/19 02:10 PM

There was this guy last year.

He lived in an adjoining city...and, as there wasn't much *here* to do/ decent restaurants...I decided to go there...

However, *his* genius idea was (instead of *anything* else he could have suggested) that I park my car (since *I* had driven *there), and get in his car....and we go for a ride in the country up to Dale Hollow lake (almost an hour away)....and walk around..

Four thimngs:

1. It was late February, and...while not freezing cold..not exactly conducive to walking around outdoors..it was damp and chilly.

2. I have been to that lake and surrounding areas MANY times...
Sparsely inhabited....most roads there are long and winding....not exactly the place I'd want to be with a total stranger.

3. Having been there many times, I knew *I* had no cell service there, so, in the event of a bad situtation..I'd have no way to call for help...

4. I told him that didn't seem like a good idea, i wasn't all that comfortable with that sugggestion....how about something else?
(numerous other things we could do there, BTW)

He proceeded to lambast me about having trust issues/ being paranoid, etc....
Thereby proving that he was up to no good..
A decent guy wouldn't haven't suggested that in the first place (unless he was totally clueless about a woman's concern for safety), or would have said "yeah, you're probably right..." and agreed on some other activity..
NOT gotten angry and judgey.

----> I pointed out that it wasn't a good idea for him, either..being in a remote place with someone he didn't know...I could have some guy follow me, and follow us oit there, and beat and rob him...
But, he didn't hear/ acknowledge that...*I* was the one with the problem..

Whatever, darlin'....

Now, maybe he had only honorable intentions, maybe he would have been completely safe, maybe I offended him....but, as a woman...no nearby people, and no cell service, I do not think *I* was in the wrong to decline that activity.

And that GUYS need to be careful as well....a proposed meet up with a woman *could* be a set up...just be cautious and use common sense.




Good post and you're totally right , if he was a decent person he wouldn't of lambasted you and try to make it out like you had a trust issue.