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Topic: Missing Someone I've Never Met
paisleygirl's photo
Fri 09/06/19 01:41 PM
I spent two months emailing, texting and speaking on the phone (1 time 7 hours) to someone local to me. In all that time, he always had an excuse not to meet - work, side jobs, pre-planned events with friends, having half custody of his child. They were probably all realistic reasons. He seemed to like me. I know I liked him. I pushed the issue because I was becoming very perplexed. I received a curt and somewhat angry text in return. I responded within 24 hours with a final goodbye message. I really, really miss communicating with this person. I feel as if I'm missing and grieving someone I never even met. Has anyone else had this issue? What did you do? My male friends all indicated that if he was truly interested in me, he would have found a half hour in his schedule to meet me. Is it too late to at some point in the future reach out again without seeming like a crazy person?

NotPay4Play's photo
Fri 09/06/19 01:53 PM
I say listen to your friends and move on.

IceCreeme's photo
Fri 09/06/19 01:58 PM

I say listen to your friends and move on.


This ^^^^^^

He is most likely still married.... spock

no photo
Fri 09/06/19 01:59 PM
Edited by Cosmic Charlie on Fri 09/06/19 02:01 PM
Hi Paislygirl. :) It does get you a bit doesn't it? Best thing is not to get your hopes up to quickly. People meet someone else or chat to several at a time.

Seven hours on the phone though. Makes you wonder if he knows what he wants. Sounds a bit conflicted to me.
Don't listen to me though. I'm the last one to listen to on matters of the heart.
The girls here are probably more insightful. good luck. :)

Hi Ice :)

IceCreeme's photo
Fri 09/06/19 02:14 PM
Buzzzz...... waving

no photo
Fri 09/06/19 02:21 PM
paisley, 2 months and long phone calls and you never met. there was a reason, you'll prolly never know what it was but it was there. from experience... move on move forward, don't try to go back.
in the future try not to invest so much in the chatting and getting to know you part. save that for face to face

no photo
Fri 09/06/19 03:19 PM
Edited by Susan on Fri 09/06/19 03:22 PM
Hi Paisley,
It's hard to get over someone that you're used to being in contact with every day, even if you haven't met them in person.

You were getting used to that for 2months. Getting emails and texts every day can really brighten things up.

I think, though, that you should try to forget about this guy. I think your guy friends were right. If he really wanted to, he could have made more time for you.

I think his behavior toward you and then his response when questioned about it is a huge red flag.

It will be hard, at first, to ignore the impulse to contact him, but it will get easier with time.

My advice to you is, don't contact him. I think you dodged a bullet.

Good luck to you. I hope you find someone that deserves and appreciates you.

paisleygirl's photo
Fri 09/06/19 04:25 PM
Thank you everyone for your insight. The consensus seems clear. I will move on. Wow, online dating can be so hard.

no photo
Fri 09/06/19 04:33 PM
Good things never come easy. I read the other day boys are simple minded if they miss you they contact you 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️It’s better to wait long than marry wrong

Pleaser4life's photo
Fri 09/06/19 04:57 PM

Thank you everyone for your insight. The consensus seems clear. I will move on. Wow, online dating can be so hard.
best thing to do move on it takes two and if you were as your frenz said meant anything to him he would have pre-planned ahead just like he did with his frenz. Dating on awhole online or normal meet in the streets is hard

no photo
Fri 09/06/19 05:29 PM
Hi paisley waving

You have the benefit of knowing what his response was and if anything he said was justified .

It does seem odd that someone local does not want to meet .. no matter how busy .

You mentioned he has shared custody of a child . How long has he been single ?? Is he divorced or separated ?? There could be many reasons he is making excuses not to meet but if he values you he would have been honest with you , when you confronted him . Pherhaos he fears the reality of meeting . Online is so much easier and less complicated . There is definitely a danger of reading more into an online connection than there is . Like others have said you do not know who else he has online connections with . He could just be using you to stroke his own ego.

Did you video chat?? had you established any level of trust during the two months you connected ??

Sounds like he made his intentions clear to you . If you genuinely miss him and you reach out to him ., he may not respond . .. or he may respond as just a friend . Could you cope with that ???
You do not need to answer my questions .. Just some thoughts to help you put things into perspective .
Best of luck what ever you decide :-)


ivegotthegirth's photo
Fri 09/06/19 05:51 PM
He's a flake for who knows how many reasons.
Do like everyone has said and put him behind you.smokin

Rock's photo
Fri 09/06/19 06:29 PM
Move on.

Bastet127's photo
Fri 09/06/19 06:52 PM
He sounds like a lying scallywag and used you for some other purpose
with no intentions of ever meeting. Why would you even give him a
second thought? Good riddance.

no photo
Fri 09/06/19 08:14 PM
Some guys like the feelings of being in love rather than the real person. They prefer lip service.

motowndowntown's photo
Fri 09/06/19 10:56 PM

He sounds like a lying scallywag and used you for some other purpose
with no intentions of ever meeting. Why would you even give him a
second thought? Good riddance.


Yup gotta agree with this^^^^^^^^^^

Don't be an idiot. Move on.

paisleygirl's photo
Sat 09/07/19 10:21 AM
Thank you everyone for taking the time to respond!

ROHIT's photo
Sat 09/07/19 01:49 PM
Nice

ROHIT's photo
Sat 09/07/19 01:50 PM
Nice solution and analysis

daffyduck💋's photo
Sun 09/08/19 10:48 AM
Yes it has happened to me still hurts to think you put your time and effort into something that wasn't never really going to happen. But be kind to yourself and know your worth I'm sure someone amazing is out there for you :heart:

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