Yes, I realize there is a lot of spam mail, and that some of you may get tons of messages. But when someone has obviously spent some time to write you, (as opposed to just saying hi) some kind of response would be nice. Even a simple "no thank you" would be fine, if that's the case. Call me old fashioned, but just ignoring people is a bit rude.

Sorry, but believing that it is rude to not respond is silly and untrue. First, no response is a response. Second, the rude part usually comes in when the person actually does respond with a polite "not interested" and engenders the inevitable "why not?" Insults follow. "You think you're so much better than me?" Etc., etc.

This scenario happens all the time and many people, especially a woman who is NOT INTERESTED, prefer avoiding it.

Ask yourself this: Do you say hello to any woman you find attractive and interesting in the real world? It's no different here. Some will respond and some will ignore. Do you bother the ones who don't say hello back or do you realize they're not interested in communicating?

Most excellent response, Geezer!

I have 72 men writing me messages on here although my profile clearly states I am here for the forums. I am not obliged to answer them. I guess they did not read my profile.

Of course not. I don't bother them, nor get upset if I'm told no. Actually prefer some type of answer, even if not the desired one. You are certainly entitled to your opinion, but it being different from mine doesn't make either of them "silly".

I agree, that is clearly their own mistake.

But...if you are at an event, say....something both of you are internested in, and you attempt to start a conversation with someone...it IS rude for them to just turn away from you and walk off without saying anything, or in any way acknowledging you.

Of course..that shows their character in that they don't possess the decency to respond at least....in vwhich case fine....I wouldn;t be interested in someone that rude anyway.

Here's an example.
I was at a bluegrass jam up in Bowling Green KY a while back.
It was a pot luck...a bi-weekly thing.

I saw this new guy come in..one I had never seen before, plus he was cute..
So I went up to him to help him figure out where the plates, cups drinks, etc. were...

I kid you not..the guy looked at me an ~sneered~ at me, then walked away...

THAT, my friends, is the equivelent of just ignoring someone who sends you a nice, sincere message online..

If he, for whatever reason thought I was gross, ugly, disgusting (why else would he have made that face?)..then dang..he could have just mustered up the decency to say "thanks, but I think i can figure out myself..."

Then I'd have left him alone.

Holy smokes, that's beyond rude and into awful!

To be honest I would rather have someone say **** off rather than blanking me lol but that's just me

With you on that one, lol.

What I see most the time from the ones that say this is that many of the ones they are e-mailing has not even been online in over a month..

At times it is best to read profiles prior to e-mailing them, to see when the last time they have been online.. Many turn off their notifications so they have no idea anyone has e-mailed them..

And then at times they are e-mailing those that look like models or half their age..

Sometimes a little bit of research to make sure one is active prior to e-mailing them is the solution...

Then it also depends what one e-mails the first time.. that will make a difference if they get a response..

Absolutely true. I'm a noob at this, haven't dated since the early 80's when I got married. But even I wouldn't write someone without reading their profile first. And it seems rather self defeating to write something off the wall in an introduction letter, lol.

Soooo, if a woman is not in line with your preference that makes her rude?

I understand that you'd like a response. Yes, it is nice to get one. However, not responding doesn't make a woman rude. That's why I think your statement was silly.

Again, if you wouldn't do it in real life, if they came over to you at a social fuction and tried to inititate a conversation..
I guess you think it's Ok to just turn and walk off without even acknowledging them?


No, it's NOT different when it is online.

If you wouldn't do it or say it IRL to a real person in front of you...why would you think it OK to do it online?

This also goes for guys who send crude messages.
If you wouldnt go up to a random woman you do not know at a get-together and say you'd like to do x, y, or z disgusting, vulgar thing to her.....what makes you think it is OK to do online?

Thank you, I_love_bluegrass, couldn't have expressed it better.

I guess you're not aware just how rude some get when you tell them a polite 'no, not interested' because you want to be a nice person?
The flak you get? Men who claimed to be a nice guy suddenly turning into a raving idiot?
You know why I don't reply anymore? Because MEN ruined it when they couldn't handle a polite "no, not interested".
Since, my no reply is the reply. I gave up on being nice and getting slapped in the face in return.

Second, you also don't seem to know that most just copy & paste some BS message?
Haven't even read a profile, but say they do, then ask questions to which the answer is in my profile?

You can make an exception for a social function. Typically, most people are there for common interests, know some of the same people, etc.

However, I was talking about every day life. There are some people, like myself, that are naturally gregarious and will talk to most anybody. Do I think it's rude when someone doesn't respond? Ummmm, no.

..then both of you will just get disappointed or as you say ****ed. This topic has been discussed here in the forums numerous times and the answer is the same.. no answer means not interested. Whining in the forums does not alter the results one iota. Move on.

Me? I answer all my messages since I get very few messages.. ok once in a blue moon. Not a lot of men are alive in my age group.