You are seriously in love with your other half. Nothing else in this world makes you happier than to see him/her happy.

BUT..............................


There is this this problem. The X girlfriend.

They have kids together, so because I love him so much I have been trying to be really nice to her, and help in anyway I can for him and the kids. But she just treats me like crap and will not accept me or the help I am trying to give.

I am not a mean person but I am really getting ready to tell her where to go and get her a map!!!

I understand your frustrations. There may not be anything that you can do about her. She is probably resentful because you are with him. Even if she doesn't love him anymore, it may bother her, or even hurt her to see him in love with someone else.

Accept the fact that she is always going to be there because they have kids together. If you cannot except things the way they are then you should walk away, before you find yourself being someone that you don't like. I didn't say it would be easy either, but in the long run you will be happier

MAYBE THERE IS NO WAY.TO HELP HER.BUT THE QUESTION IS DOES YOUR BOYFRIEND KNOW ABOUT HOW SHE TREATS YOOU,AND IF HE DOES WHAT IS HE DOING ABOUT IT.IM NOT A THERAPIST BUT IVE BEEN IN A SITUATION JUST LIKE YOURS BEFORE.

You are doing the right thing. Being a giving, understanding and courteous human being.

Maybe a nice exchange of your feelings with your boyfriend so that he can help with the situation. I believe that since he broughy her in to your space that the responsibility of trying to have a good atmosphere when they are around would fall squarely on him since you are already doing your part.

Beware of becoming bitter or arrogant. I don't know what her motivations are, but you certainly don't want to change your person to retain anybody. Good luck!

Just keep being a nice person...
Eventually she may come around...
Hopefully for the kids sake its sooner than latter...
I don't think she needs a map- sounds like she knows the way
allready...
The worst thing you can do is spout off to the mother of his kids, Not a good thing! Hang in there!

I can accept the fact that the X and he will be connected for the rest of their lives due to the fact they have kids.

I WILL NOT walk away from him.

Everyone knows me and knows that I am not a mean person, but what I can't understand is why can't people let go and accept the fact that they had their time together, and it didn't work, move on.

She thinks that she has some kind of hold over him.

He works long hours and she is telling him that HE is the only one that can take the kids to their Dr. Appointments, or clothes shopping or where ever they want to go.
No, I didn't break them up.
Why do I feel like the bad person?

Fine -- We both know that blowing up and causing a scene will only hurt, in the long run -- it might feel good to unload -- for a few minutes -- but you'll feel worse later, and you'll have created some potential rifts that will be difficult to patch up down the road.

If I know one thing about you, after all these months, it's that you're realistic and you live in the real world. You generally know the right thing to do, and you're the first one to admit when you haven't done it.

So -- my advice -- talk to him about it first. Let him know exactly how you feel about the way she is treating you. make sure he understands that you're not interested in fighting or creating problems, you just want everyone to be civil. As you say, you are not a "mean person."

And -- if it's feasible -- tell her, calmly and peacefully, that you have tried to be as helpful and accommodating as possible, that you don't understand why she's treating you so badly, and you're not sure what else she wants you to do -- ??

It's all about the communication, and it may be that there won't really BE any until you let BOTH of them know exactly where you stand. But you can do that diplomatically -- at least for starters!

She does have a hold over him! She is the mother of his children and that is a tremendous "hold".

Only time MAY get you her confidence. She is a mother and the first instinct is to protect the babies. Be patient if you want this to happen.

Well girl all you can do is step back dont get into it with her but do tell him the way she acts with you. In time the kids will see how much you do and so will he and well it will back fire in her face. Ya know for some reason when u kill them with kindness it blows up in there face been there done that and I won in the end.

I think actually the x needs to know what your feelings and thoughts are. Yes she is the X....but you are the now...and along with that she has to give you a certain amount of respect also. I think also that for the kids sake the better you both get along the easier it is for them. A lot of times I think adults tend to thing nasty and tension go right over the kids heads....not the case...they are very attuned to the littlest things. I would say meet with the x just yourself and see where she really stands and tell her where you stand.....

Ahhh, Fine, I know how that goes from both sides of it.

As long as you are with your love, SHE will always be in his life since they have a child together. Give her time and let her get through her drama and it will calm down.

Be the classy one that we all know you are.

Hugs, M

She might grow up one day, but I doubt it. Just be nice to the b***h and consult your boyfriend about handling the kids. Good luck!

Took the words out of my mouth.