Can we

Southern MO and northern AR can be beautiful areas but that all depends on what your desired lifestyle is. It certainly isn't a big city urban lifestyle but much more outdoors yet has some good entertainment. I've visited here for many years and find it suits me fine. Good Luck with finding your place in life for it is too short to waste.

One at a time, unless you are (honestly) okay with the same back. Doesn't work for me, but everyone is different.

wow.. you've said alot in your post... I would love to know you more..

It's happened to me more than once, I meet a guy and go on a date, and later in the week meet another guy and go on a date with him. I don't see anything wrong with it.

Dating is just going out and doing things -there is no commitment yet. Date away.
If you are talking about having lots of sex with lots of people, that's just high risk behavior in every way.

It's been my understanding that the man falls IN love first, the women fall OUT of love first.

Men have far "lower" standards for romance and attraction, once a man gets past the shallows, men are romantically driven, women are opportunistically driven.

Thus the proven axiom that - all things being equal; women don't date down their social ladder and they all want - and feel they deserve - the top-rung man.

The 80/20 rule at work.

Just as an other poster said; be honest with all your men. I know I wouldn't - and doubt many other men would either - want to be your foody call while Joe gets the sleepovers.

To be blunt: if I just kissed you goodnight at your door and you then go inside and call Joe to come on over and re-arrange your uterus; that's the last you would ever see of me.

And don't put in your profile that you "don't want any serial daters": If its OK for YOU to live your lost college years, then you agree that it's OK for the guys you date to behave this way too.

hii

I would just treat others as you would want to be treated. That mindset
always seems to put things into perspective.

The notion of women bonding first is nonsense; if anything, a modern woman with the history of many, many, many sexual partners is now incapable of forming a lasting pair-bond in monogamy. The so-called "C-Carousel".

Woman bonding first does show up in FwB situations; the friend providing the most "benefit" is going to garner the gal's thoughts the most.
This then screws up the whole FwB as the woman finds herself in love with a partner that was quite happy just being "the friend".

Women by nature's design were not built to be monogamous, that is a societal limit dropped on them.

It's in their base DNA; women HAVE to insure the survival of the species, no matter how many in the tribe she has to mate with to insure she provides strong offspring that have the best chance to survive.
This instinctual behavior can manifest itself in today's civilization, with too many women having the ability to turn love off like a light switch and run to another man regardless of conditions or circumstances.
Women probably don't understand themselves why they cheated on their husband of 40+ years for the pizza delivery boy; it just happened.

The serial dating behaviors discussed here should be applied equally to both genders. And sadly for many of the participants in OLD - this contributes to the need for a fast-pass to the STD labs.

If one of the guys falls for you, he will be hurt even if he knows about and agrees to to the situation. Not much anyone can do about that. Jealousy could be a problem. Watch out for the posessives, and sore losers.
Plenty will be interested, just find a good local meeting forum. Be careful.

Thanks. Yes, thought about possible hurt, which I want to avoid; and why man needs to be told. Informed consent. Thought about jealousy, ugh. His problem, not mine. Possessive I hadn't thought of. I would have to watch for signs.
Might be some very short relationships. If I can even get two to agree to non exclusive. I may have to reset my expectations.

I think my fat finger but report instead of quote. If that happened, I apologize.
My response is yes, I'm honestly fine with a man circular dating if he follows the same rules. I'm not into jealousy. That would actually simplify things because there would be no attachments.

Skip. There's a lot here.
I have no knowledge of typical male vs female love attachment. I'm probably outside the norm for both. No interest in love at this time.
The 80/20 ladder effect may apply to a young woman who is looking for a life mate, and is not yet self supporting with assets. I don't need a man for social status or financial security.
I would not make a booty call after a date, but how would you even know?
" ...behave this way" is a derogatory way to word what I see as dating more than one man with honesty and without commitment.
My profile intentionally excludes my non exclusive preference to avoid attracting men who think I'm looking for multiple sex partners. This is a conversation for after initial contact, when we have enough information about each other to know if there are mutual social interests. They can date whoever they want, but I have been able to weed out a few whose primary interest is to sleep around. That's not my goal. Though I don't know why that would be OK in our 20s, but not in our 60s.

i hope you ll get going soon.

I don't think that it would be impossible Nancy. It might take a little while to find men who are comfortable with the situation (jealousy is such an ugly thing). You seem to be very honest about what you want and I think that will be the key factor in success. Good luck and I hope that you manage it .

I never have dated more than one person at a time..
If I find someone I have a lot in common with..why would I want to see someone else?
It's too distracting.

Plus, I like to be fully present in the dating..not sidetracked by others..

To each their own....I'll not tell someone what they want to do is wrong....
*I* just prefer one person at a time..
But then, I screen carefully, don't just meet someone off the cuff and "decide" to date them..there's conversation that has to happen first, and if we have nothing in common, or only one thing, and they dislike the rest of *my* interests (and vice versa), then I wouldn't be interested in spending any time with him..

Again, to each their own, you do what *you* prefer..

I agree there needs to be honesty in relationships.
Even friendships are relationships and as far as I can figure, you are looking to date to build friendships with different people (men).
I also want to point out honesty is not only important in relationships but also in understanding yourself.
"Above all else, to thine own self be true" applies to your OP.
Make sure you really do want what you think you want and it isn't a passing fancy.

Assuming you really do understand what you want, the open honesty you imply would be very important. In the current situation, where you failed to put your intentions out there to start, you still need to bite the bullet and tell him how you feel. The hard part will be not hurting him when you do. That can open a whole new box of problems.

I suggest you write some letters. You write them out and read them and think of what you know about this man and rewrite them till you feel confident on what you will say to him. It might get your thoughts in order to get to the point where you want that relationship to head. It gets all the important things you want to make sure you say to him fresh in your mind. Reread your 'note' right before you talk with him. Be open to answer his legitimate questions and concerns.

The idea of 'dating' is convoluted. When you get together with someone as a planned event it is technically a 'date'. You and friends from the office get together to go rafting on the 3rd Saturday of July. Technically, that is a date.

Romantic dating is a device we humans use to find a mate suitable for reproducing. Reproduction is the driving factor. Sex is implied with romantic dating. Romantic dating also has a companionship factor. Companionship is sharing life with someone else. Anywhere from a few minutes to a lifetime.

Mature adults, especially ones who have already has a relationship involving marital sex, understand sex is a choice but not a requirement for a companionship based relationship. Being a mature adult, you can have sex with whoever you want, whenever you want because you are under no commitment to exclusivity with anyone.

Most of the time, marriage is a commitment to exclusive dedication to one other, forsaking all others. A bonding agreement between two people.

What confuses many people is they expect dating to be a marriage commitment.
They are dating to find an exclusive mate.
If you are not, they might feel you are wasting their time.

I was in a 25 year marriage, I know how isolated it can be.
It was very difficult to abandon my 'married views' because they were all I knew. I dated a few women where I applied the 'married views' to our relationship and the relationships left me empty.
I needed to retrain my thinking.
I wrote myself a lot of letters and made a lot of Pros & Cons lists.
It worked for me.

You seem to be an intelligent woman.
I understand why you want to be able to have multiple dates with multiple people.
I'm not sure of your ultimate goal and I don't need to be.
I don't see life from behind your eyes.

Honesty to yourself and others
Remove the delusions
Know your goal
Try not to hurt others
Be emotionally mature and stable
Enjoy yourself

The 80/20 rule is applied to the observation of all OLD sites; 80% of the gals want - and now think they are entitled to - the top 20% of men.

This 20% doesn't have to mean economics, more likely the 6'+, 6-pak abs, plus of course the ever-cute incorrigible behavior the guy exhibits - as the gal gets her tingles addressed. No cling, just pump and dump.

Same 80/20 applies to men. Men and women are equally shallow.

The 2 rules to successful OLD for men AND women are simple: 1.) Don't be unattractive. 2.) See Rule 1.

OLD sites are like the Christmas toy catalog for both sexes. Why settle for an adorable gal when I can keep clicking No and Maybe waiting on the super-hot Yes gal to appear in front of me?

Nancy - you and I are probably the exact same age - or at least we are the same generation.

When you and I were young and hot, gals didn't have the pressure of feminism that that told them that it was A-OK to sew their wild oats "because the boys do it".

Those boys raised in a quality 2-parent household were lectured to never mistreat gals a certain way, and to be honorable gentlemen. (Not that they all did, but you understand..)

So yes, you and I missed out on the care-free bed-hopping hook-up culture of today versus back when we started down our paths to marriage.

Ask yourself this honestly; children and grandkids aside; would you now want to relive your life tied to just your late hubby all over again, or, enjoy today's carousel of freedom that young 20-30 something gals enjoy today?

Think of all those years of fun you (and I) missed out on.

Well, wherever you land, I think a good time will be had (Wait, that can be taken wrong) Well, you know what I mean.