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Topic: Dating someone with an illness
Trixie's photo
Tue 02/09/21 05:23 AM
Would you date someone if they told you they had an ongoing incurable illness (not contagious!), but they were unsure of the prognosis?

Poetrywriter's photo
Tue 02/09/21 05:28 AM
Of course I would. Saying no would make me a very shallow person.

soufiehere's photo
Tue 02/09/21 05:30 AM
It is only a date, why not?
Maybe one will learn something from the other.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Tue 02/09/21 05:42 AM
No, I wouldn't. I'm not looking to make my life difficult.
Such things are different when you meet someone somewhere. You then have more chance of clicking and based on that having the other person willing to just go for it.

I once dated a guy who turned out to be in a wheelchair. He hadn't told me. There was me, recently free from marriage, wanting to date, have fun, dance, go for walks etc etc. All kinds of things he could not do.
I was not amused he'd kept that from me.

Larsi666 😽's photo
Tue 02/09/21 05:48 AM
Tricky question. I doubt, I would. There would be the issue of letting go, if it was a terminal illness :cry:

no photo
Tue 02/09/21 07:11 AM
Easily, no one is promised anyone for any amount of time. So you live in the moment.

motowndowntown's photo
Tue 02/09/21 07:39 AM
Depends what the "illness" was. Don't think I'd enjoy going out with a schizophrenic, or a psychopath.

no photo
Tue 02/09/21 08:03 AM

Depends what the "illness" was. Don't think I'd enjoy going out with a schizophrenic, or a psychopath.


Well! I wasn't going to ask you anyways!

Tom4Uhere's photo
Tue 02/09/21 08:14 AM
Already am. Plus, she doesn't mind my disability either.

If you think about it, getting old is also an incurable illness which is 100% fatal and not contagious.

Most people after 60 do not have the energy, stamina, dexterity and physical health they did in their prime years. The body wears down and things which never were an issue before, now are.

However, Motowndowntown has a point. You can be sick but still have a sharp mind. You can be physically restricted but still have a great personality.
Ya'know, sick but cheerful.

I've dated old and depressed. Its terrible. Many who are old and sick get depressed. The mind which hangs onto that depression is not fun or interesting but the mind which accepts the finality of life and illness yet still has a bright personality will fill you with wonder, joy and contentment.
In a way, the relationship has a higher caliber meaning.
I find it refreshing.

Laska Paul 's photo
Tue 02/09/21 08:33 AM
I've been on both sides of this Situation and there are many people undergoing such circumstances globally ,and want to thank You Trixie for the absolute best Article on what really helps that I have ever seen .I hope this post gets shared all over . Thank you for taking your time to write down your Insights.

Trixie's photo
Tue 02/09/21 08:39 AM

No, I wouldn't. I'm not looking to make my life difficult.
Such things are different when you meet someone somewhere. You then have more chance of clicking and based on that having the other person willing to just go for it.

I once dated a guy who turned out to be in a wheelchair. He hadn't told me. There was me, recently free from marriage, wanting to date, have fun, dance, go for walks etc etc. All kinds of things he could not do.
I was not amused he'd kept that from me.


I understand what you are saying, although it’s not your life that may be difficult but the person you’re dating. Most people who have any kind of illness are not looking for someone to look after them, quite the opposite. Having said that I do understand that there may be a minority looking for a carer.

I would never condone anybody not admitting they have any form of illness or disability before they meet somebody on a date, as it’s not a good start to any kind of friendship/relationship. I can’t imagine how you must have felt turning up for a date and finding him in a wheelchair. Had he have told you beforehand it would have given you the opportunity to respectfully decline the invitation to meet.

Trixie's photo
Tue 02/09/21 08:44 AM

Easily, no one is promised anyone for any amount of time. So you live in the moment.


I think that is an amazing comment, and so true.

None of us knows what’s round the corner. Two certain things in life are death and taxes :laughing:

Trixie's photo
Tue 02/09/21 08:47 AM

Tricky question. I doubt, I would. There would be the issue of letting go, if it was a terminal illness :cry:


What if it wasn’t terminal, but the disease was a degenerative one and that person could at some stage end up in a wheelchair?

Trixie's photo
Tue 02/09/21 08:54 AM

Already am. Plus, she doesn't mind my disability either.

If you think about it, getting old is also an incurable illness which is 100% fatal and not contagious.

Most people after 60 do not have the energy, stamina, dexterity and physical health they did in their prime years. The body wears down and things which never were an issue before, now are.

However, Motowndowntown has a point. You can be sick but still have a sharp mind. You can be physically restricted but still have a great personality.
Ya'know, sick but cheerful.

I've dated old and depressed. Its terrible. Many who are old and sick get depressed. The mind which hangs onto that depression is not fun or interesting but the mind which accepts the finality of life and illness yet still has a bright personality will fill you with wonder, joy and contentment.
In a way, the relationship has a higher caliber meaning.
I find it refreshing.


I take my hat off to your partner, she must be a wonderful lady.

Even in marriage I know it can be hard for either party to deal with an illness that has no definite prognosis. Having said that when you marry it’s supposed to be for life and inevitably we grow old, and as you so rightly say the body wears out. But is love enough to come to terms with possibly watching your partner deteriorate

Larsi666 😽's photo
Tue 02/09/21 08:57 AM


Tricky question. I doubt, I would. There would be the issue of letting go, if it was a terminal illness :cry:


What if it wasn’t terminal, but the disease was a degenerative one and that person could at some stage end up in a wheelchair?


If it wasn't terminal, I have no problems. I work as a community nurse anyway

Trixie's photo
Tue 02/09/21 08:57 AM

I've been on both sides of this Situation and there are many people undergoing such circumstances globally ,and want to thank You Trixie for the absolute best Article on what really helps that I have ever seen .I hope this post gets shared all over . Thank you for taking your time to write down your Insights.


This is something very close to my heart, which is why I’ve posted it to try and understand from both points of view

Trixie's photo
Tue 02/09/21 08:59 AM



Tricky question. I doubt, I would. There would be the issue of letting go, if it was a terminal illness :cry:


What if it wasn’t terminal, but the disease was a degenerative one and that person could at some stage end up in a wheelchair?


If it wasn't terminal, I have no problems. I work as a community nurse anyway


Then I most definitely take my hat off to you sir :heart:

Larsi666 😽's photo
Tue 02/09/21 09:06 AM




Tricky question. I doubt, I would. There would be the issue of letting go, if it was a terminal illness :cry:


What if it wasn’t terminal, but the disease was a degenerative one and that person could at some stage end up in a wheelchair?


If it wasn't terminal, I have no problems. I work as a community nurse anyway


Then I most definitely take my hat off to you sir :heart:


Thanking you, melady :smile: flowers

Trixie's photo
Tue 02/09/21 09:14 AM





Tricky question. I doubt, I would. There would be the issue of letting go, if it was a terminal illness :cry:


What if it wasn’t terminal, but the disease was a degenerative one and that person could at some stage end up in a wheelchair?


If it wasn't terminal, I have no problems. I work as a community nurse anyway


Then I most definitely take my hat off to you sir :heart:


Thanking you, melady :smile: flowers


You’re welcome, and thank you for the flowers :laughing: only ones I’ve had today and it’s my birthday sad

delightfulillusion's photo
Tue 02/09/21 09:17 AM



You’re welcome, and thank you for the flowers :laughing: only ones I’ve had today and it’s my birthday sad


Wishing you a very Happy Birthday Trixie. Hope you’ve had a lovely day so far flowers

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