Bungee jump from a bonsai tree

doofus

He did that with his eyes closed?

Well, I never knew he had a donkey.

I met each of my four children as they arrived and presented them to their mother.

I dropped a quarter on the shop floor and it rolled a short distance and came to a stop on its edge.

I threw a beer can across the shop and it landed upright on a 2x4 over the trash can.
Same beer can fell into the trash can just as I reached out to knock it in.

Caught a full glass of milk knocked from the dining table before it hit the floor and did not spill a drop.

Recovered control of my car in 4 lanes of heavy traffic after it spun 360 degrees on ice. Not only did I stay in my lane, I stopped the car before it hit the one in front of me. It was on a downhill slope.

Drove my 68 Road Runner 170 mph with no brakes, no seat, at 3am. Used the gears to slow down. Took me 1.5 miles to slow down.

Drove a cement truck with the brake chambers in the back caged (front brakes only) in St Louis evening rush hour, 7 miles back to the shop.

Was part of the cleanup crew when the Beruit Embassy was bombed.
Helped build the chow hall in the basement of the BLT barracks in Beruit and was back at beach camp when it was bombed. Helped with emergency response.

Was on the ship filling the water bull when the ship came under missle attack in the Lebanon peacekeeping initiative.

Was pinned down by live machine gun fire on the path to the airport in the Lebanon peacekeeping initiative and not permitted to lock & load or return fire.

Manned a 50 cal machine gun emplacement on the Beirut-Saida Highway during the Lebanon peacekeeping initiative. Also carried a 45 calibur service pistol and an M-16 rifle. Had two M60 machine guns but could not lock & load any weapon without direct orders from the officer in charge.

Earned Bluenose in Norway.

My Equipment operator and I got lost in a white out and turned back at the Russian border (American post) driving a weapons carrier full of cases of beer. Yes, alchohol was a factor.

Changed the clutch in my C20 pickup truck in the intersection at Tidewater drive and East Little Creek road in Norfolk, VA. It took me 1 hour, by myself. I walked to the auto parts store for the parts.

My X and I changed the engine and transmission in our 1977 Buick Lesabre in 2.5 hours at my shop on a Saturday morning. Yes, we used air tools.

I had to rescue my youngest son from his car when he locked himself in it without his keys. He triggered the anti-theft feature which sucks the door locks into the door panel. I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself. Plus...years later its still just as funny.

I cooked a turkey last Thanksgiving which looked like ran over road kill when it came out of the oven. Yes, I still laugh about that too.

I joined Mingle 2 forums and still participate. Yes, I laugh about that too!