I was alone for eight years before I met my current partner. I definitely needed that time to get my head straight.

Separated in 2016, should have done it earlier, but it was not possible ...

I just have to add, here in Ireland, a judicial separation has the same legal value, a divorce has. People only need a divorce, if they wanted to get married again.

Thanks Lars.. Hope your a lot happier now.

People say, "no man is an island". I've been a very narrow peninsula since I was born.

I separated in January 1998, divorced in 1999. Had a few short relationships (for approx 3 months) that ended for one reason or another, the last being in 2008. While I don't mind my own company there were (and still are) times that I thought/think it would be nice to have a partner.

How long have you spent on your own?

Are you seeking self-affirmation?

Currently single for 5 yrs. Like Bonnie, I needed much of that time to get my head straight. Took me quite some time to bounce back from my last relationship and I do not seek a new one until my heart is ready for it again.
And of course we had the pandemic, just when I felt ready to start dating again. But I didn't see the point of dating with facemasks on, restaurants closed etc etc.

I don't mind being alone tbh. Most important thing is to have a good relationship between you and you. Without that you cannot have a good relationship with another.

I agree which you Cystal, I think people who have take time out to sort things out know when they are ready to try again. When your ready I hope it works for you.. there are still good people out there.

Yes, and I thought I was over it all, ready again, right before the pandemic.
However, last year I unexpectedly saw him in my local supermarket and I was shell-shocked. Totally off-kilter and later on angry. I didn't get why he was here, the audacity! He lives 155km from me, so why my village?
I realised there was still some residual something inside me so I worked through that. Also had to decide what to do if I was to see him again. Say something? Ignore him? What? I worked it out, thank goodness I did as I did see him 2 more times!?

Then last month I got an email from him about something practical. We exchanged 2 mails, and after that it felt good, okay, I had let go completely and moved into softer feelings. Forgiveness as well, finally, as I couldn't before.
So in a way it took me 5 yrs to completely heal and come to forgiving.
If you take into account that many would already be in a new relationship by that time... They then take that residual anger, negativity, etc. with them in the new connection.
And then people wonder why there are so many break-ups. Much is due to not taking proper time to heal & recover.

3 years. It's not a long time, but I don't look forward to being in a relationship anytime soon. Right now my kids and career are my main priorities.

I'm not seeking anything..