I'm just trying to see if I'm not thinking correctly but if I was just getting to know a new person a woman in my case the last thing I would want to do is ask her for money. that's the last thing on my mind. I'm just trying to get inside her head and try to get her in mind finances. I don't know how long it should be before you discuss money, but it's not a topic that is appropriate. I think when you first meet someone. am I wrong on this? can somebody help me?

It seems natural that everyone would want to know
what the other did for a living, fairly soon into
any relationship.

After that I do not think money should be a topic,
one can do the math from the occupation.

I would be more worried if they did not work
at all.

Or if one or the other had a feverish delight
in your personal business.

But if ANYONE ever asks for money, their reason
for being on the site becomes more than clear.

Be wise.

To me, the money issue needs to be talked about some time before moving in together. Otherwise you can just wait until a close topic comes around, like if she talks about buying a new car or something else expensive that she says she wants but can not afford.

I would be very wary of anybody who wants to discuss finances before the relationship even gets off the ground.

Over the years I have found that most women ask me what I do for a living. It's a fair question for both people.

There are 3 things you want to know:
1. How much income do they make.
2. How much is their asset value.
3. How much are their liabilities.

You cannot ask these questions on the first date or in the near future. So, you just want an idea of their income and Net Worth.

Me: What do you do for a living?

Her: Oh, I work for XYZ company.

Me: I'm not familiar with them. Are they a good company to work for?

Her: The pay is good and the benefits are excellent. I have been investing in a retirement account for 7 years and they match my investment.

From this she probably makes good money and she is saving money for retirement. You don't know anything about her debt, but if she has a retirement account she is most likely responsible.

Over time you will learn more.

Also remember that she may make more then you and your probing can kill the relationship.

I see nothing wrong in asking someone what they do for a leaving. You would want to know if the person will be a liability financially & all, either way, or it’s one you can build your finances with

Why is this entire topic about money? I was going to say, just be yourself, but I take that back.

Impressing a new acquaintance? Dress well, smell good and be courteous, all makes for a good start. The money question not so easy, in my opinion it is not so important for people in their early twenties because mostly both parties are just starting out in life, and interested in building it together, whereas people say in their fifties and more established, would perhaps be more interested in finding a partner in similar circumstances financially, if only to protect what they have already achieved in life.

honestly

honestly,,,,

Yes. Honestly.

It would be nice to see your take on the post.

The sensitivity of the issue of money depends on where you live. For example, when I lived in Sweden (lo, these many years ago), somebody published a semi-official list of everybody's income. The annual publication was called inkomstkalendern. Thus, your income wasn't very interesting nor was it a sensitive subject.

Always have a plan B. If you feel their enquiries in to your personal financial situation, seems more like fact gathering, start talking about your prenup agreement before sharing your life with anyone. That should impress.

honestly got it right

honestly got it right

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