Please, constructive insight and opinions here..

When I think of depression, I think of sad, mopey, crying types.

Me? I just dont care, I am not sad, I dont cry, I enjoy my time to myself. I get sad when I dont have my daughter...very sad. The ONLY two things on my mind at ALL times are my daughter and my career..That is it!

I have met several women, dated and have had good times. But the second they show any forms of something I dont like, I kick them to the curb right then and there, no questions asked..Goodbye, and never look back...

It's been over 5 years, you would have thought by now I would be ready to meet someone, but I found out recently I am no where near it...

Am I depressed? Or am I normal?

you sound normal to me...but i don't think normal is all it's cracked up to be

You know I feel the exact same way and I have no explanation for why.

It sounds to me Jim like you just have to many walls up and maybe you look for excuses to kick someone to the curb??
I know when I'm depressed, I'm just totally "indifferent". I just don't care about much at all. Except of course, my daughter

i am not sure i would call that a depression. you are just not ready for a new relationship.

i think that is ok as long as you don't hurt others by pretending that you are.

Maybe yes, maybe no....I guess I want someone to just understand. That is what I am having trouble finding...Confusing part is...I am not sure if I am really looking either?

You have to do what is rite for you, no sense being with someone your not going to be happy with. For myself I am content rite now, woman - no woman doesn't really bother me. Best of luck to you bro..

Hummm seems to me it is not a depression problem but instead a commit problem instead. It's as if you want to be with someone but your always comparing them to someone else. And when they don't measure up then you tend to find a reason to get rid of them. At least that is the way I see it.

Pretending that I am what? Looking for a relationship? I know I am not ready for 100% commitment, I just want to date....

Jim...

Because you are you and I am always me, I feel no need for sugary coatings. You deserve better.

It is easier to find fault in another to keep yourself safe. I did the same thing forever. You look for things to be wrong so you have an excuse not to risk vulnerability. That serves no purpose, really. Your daughter deserves to see you in a healthy relationship as much as you deserve to be in one. Get over yourself, Jim. You're strong enough to open up and get hurt.. you keep doing it until it feels better than it hurts.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm What is normal,, I have often pondered these thoughts,,, I think we put ourselves in a state of no where for a time,,, The hurt is still there,, the sorrow is real,,, Wether the loss was due to death or falling out of like or love,, its a loss and it takes time for the Soul to heal to be able to breathe alone again,,,

I no it took me 13 years to get to a point in my life,,, where I truely loved me again,, Maybe a bit depressed at times,, yet knowing It was up to me to pick up my life, bring in the happy and live each day to he fullest,,

I believe there is no time frame on healing we all have our mourning period,, and when it passes,, you will know,, you will see and you will feel this overwhelming,,
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhh so to say,,,

Our bodies in my mind go into a state of silence,, a state of not being i guess,, no tears, no sadness just
a state of Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm,, so to say... This to shall pass,, and yessssssssssssss we begin to trust again,, Love again,,,

Sorry if this does not make sense,,, It did in my mind,, Hmmmmmmmmmmm lol,,,,

Good luck to you
Have a Blessed Day

this is what i meant: maybe the women you are dating are ready for a 100% commitment....just be honest up front.

After any bad relationship experience, one is always more careful about starting another. Each of us develops our own set of red flags based upon past experiences. Often times, we are unknowingly attracted to others who have personalities that will eventually raise one or more of our red flags. You're not depressed. You are ready to move on as long as you have put your past relationships into perspective. My thoughts are to reconsider the "types" of women you have felt attracted to. You may find yourself pleasantly surprised!

That makes sense Lil...I am very guarded for sure. I think my daughter may contribute to it some. She says she is not ready to see Daddy with a girlfriend. Her Mother is almost remarried mind you, and my daughter was telling me over the weekend she doenst want Mommy to marry him. Maybe I am letting her wishes/dreams interfere as well...

Of course, I believe in honesty 150%..Sometimes I am too brutally honest..

Thanks PATS...you are the man

Good point...

So, I am guessing this is at least better than depression?

I think depression is more than sadness. Sadness is expressing feelings, Depression is depressing feelings. Sadness is a healthy way of dealing with disapointment. You need some sadness to appreciate happiness.

I am not a dr. just my thoughts in layman's terms.

"you're losing all your highs & lows, aint it funny how the feeling goes away?" Desperado

It's funny... my son is dying for me to have a permanant partner. Asks all the time for a guy to play with him. (He has yet to meet Jist) I was a daddy's girl and I was not ready for him to date, much less when he remarried.

But I'll tell you what... seeing my father in a relationship and watching him love and be loved was one of the greatest gifts he ever gave me as a parent. What you model teaches your child how to interact with others. I'm not saying her opinions don't matter, but the weight they carry is loaded with selfishness and self-presevation against a "what if". She is just a kid and wants you all to herself. That is natural and normal, but not fair for either of you.

You're smart enough to not introduce her to a woman unless it's right. And to choose one who would tread lightly and give her positive attention, and not get jealous or threatened of whatever reaction your little darling has. Kids are remarkably perceptive. If you love someone.. she'll see it, and get over herself as well. Because you are her daddy and she loves you.