Since marriage seem not to be the choice of most divorced people how does the idea of living togeather sound?

Living tgeather seem like a good idea but it does make it too easy to back out of a realationship. then on the other hand how do you really know someone till you have lived with them for awhile. The good thing about living togeather you avoid those high lawyer bills and avoid one more strike on your marriage record. remember three strikes and your out and labeled not marriage worthy.

My older brother lived together with his lady friend for five years. They got along se well, they tied the knot and got married abot two years ago and remain just as happy. I wasn't too up on living together before, but after seeing his experience, it's something to think about as it beats the heck out of the divorce process when things don't work out.

I guess I'm out of nevert being married again,I have been married 5 times

At our ages there can be many different reasons for living together, rather than marriage. If a piece of paper is going to make that much difference, aren't there other issues at hand?

I can think of alot of issues most of them related to money. I guess a prenuptial agreement could slove that but then that could question your commitment ablility.Im thinking both sides want commitment in some form or another.

I've been in about a dozen live-with scenarios. Much prefer it to marriage. I could easily live with someone again but would most likely never even consider another marriage.

Well I think that depends on the case how far you want to commit to each other. And yeah you don't really know them till you live with them. But.... do you really know them then?


As far as the cheap way out lmao it all depends on the one you live with you see that thing called common law marriage can cause you to go through a full blown divorce. Believe me I know two that had to do it. Commom law in Texas has no set time limit that two must live together.

With my last wife I thought living together was the ideal arrangement as she did, too. I was the one who chickened out and asked her to marry me. Like a dummy I went to Social Security and told them we had gotten married. They asked us how long we had lived together and I told them two months. So they told us that we owed for her last two SSI and had to pay them back. Looking back at it was the first time that I could see that my former wife or ex was right. I do bring it on myself. There are times when I am too honest for my own good. There are penalties for being married and the marriage penalty tax is just one of them I guess.

Prenup. = piece of paper for a piece of paper.

Contracts are made to be broken.

Common law marriages, no longer legal in many states.
Again my commitment will come from within, no outside forces can hold someone, where they don't want to be.

It did serve to wise me up about the Social Security system though. Because when she died I found that didn't feel obligated to even pay for her 255 dollar death benefit. I guess it is different when they owe you and you owe them. All you have to do is get a job and they automatically take out Social Security but when the money is owed you chances are you will need a lawyer to collect. I still feel that honesty is the best policy in the long run.

I agree with the piece of paper advise. Once during a particular hard time I had with Dottie I thought it might be better for her if we were too split up. She asked where are we going. I knew she heard what I said. What she let me know was that no matter what we had to face we would be better off together. I never brought up the subject again. Whatever we had to go through we did it together.

I don't like it. It shows you're not serious about committing. Stats say that folks who live together then marry are more likely to break up in the end. It shows a lack of respect for your partner and I've found that respect is essential in a good marriage.

Sleeping with someone before I'm married tends to cloud my judgement, too, and make it more likely that I'll propose marriage to someone that's bad for me in the long run, making for a bad relationship and some rough times.

So, no, I don't think it's a good thing. I'm gonna stay separate during my relationships now. We'll both stay at our own places for the most part. After we decide if we'll get married or not and marry, then they'll be plenty of time for living together. But I'll make darned good and sure I work out the issues with my partner first!

That sounds wise to me, Yasha. I take it you have had unresolved issues in a prior marriage. There is nothing like marriage to teach you about marriage. We should make up a marriage book for dummies. There is probably one already one out there though.

Don't really have unresolved issues. I figured out what was wrong with me both times. I wasn't walking with the Lord before or during both marriages and it screwed them both up.

Marriage #1 was OK, Marriage #2 was wonderful, but I made mistakes I regret in both relationships.

But I'm leaving here a better man, is what I say.

I would say then that you learned something from the marriage experiences. I think learning is a good thing. A better man is a good thing, too. Kudos.

I always said I would not live with someone without being married. That being said, I did it anyway. In my defense, I moved to another state and he moved with me since we had planned on getting married. Needless to say it didn't work out and it took too long to get him to move out. I don't think I'd do it again but I've learned to never say never!

And as much as some say a marriage license is just a piece of paper, it's a very important piece of paper, at least to me. I want that connection.

Yes it seems to be real important at time of divorce. while your married it doesnt have much value or meaning otherwise there wont be so many married people cheating.Being married is a state of mind.

I would have to do as my conviction lives its integrity. It is mine. ..something I have gleaned since my husbands death. I did not know what I would do until it actually happened. I stand by that..until I am actually in that scenario..I do not know.

Joni Michell said it best years ago

'We don't need no piece of paper from the city hall
Keeping us tried & true, no'

Marriage originated as an economic contract that solidified wealth & power in days gone by. Romantic marriage is a relatively modern concept & that's one of the reasons divorce rates are so high now. For people in their 50's & up, who aren't planning to have new children it makes far less sense to consider marriage than for younger couples who want to have a family. Also, economic considerations, such as who has children, and who would get what out of any estate are leading many older people to forego marriage. For me marriage at this point makes no sense.

Living together is a subject that will eventually come up in any relationship if two people get close. Personally living together without marriage may be wrong in the eyes of every church known to man but then again churches have been known to be wrong. If it were me I think at 53 I would probably live with someone a long time before I thought about getting married again.

Laylamyst