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Topic: when someone you love is has a terminal disease.....
indiman's photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:03 PM
How do you deal with it. Because someone that I love dearly has a terminal disease, and I just found out. I don't post often, but I need some help right now.

auburngirl's photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:04 PM
my husband died of cancer. It is very very difficult. I'm sorry for what you will go thru

indiman's photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:05 PM

my husband died of cancer. It is very very difficult. I'm sorry for what you will go thru
Thank you for your concern

no photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:06 PM
Sorry to hear. :cry:

TheShadow's photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:07 PM

How do you deal with it. Because someone that I love dearly has a terminal disease, and I just found out. I don't post often, but I need some help right now.

Be the best friend you can be by being there for them and don't treat them any different from any other good friend.

no photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:08 PM
Be there by their side and you won't have any regrets. Good luck to you and yours because it is very difficult. Just hang in there and be strong. :wink:

mekikis's photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:08 PM

Dear

Love does not expect anything...

Rain drop falling from the sky has nothing in
mind except to hit the earth. No matter how tough the drop is,
it still reaches its destiny! Be positive always, best of
luck.. .

No1sLove's photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:10 PM
Been there...my fiance found out he had lymph cancer two months before our wedding.

All I can tell you is be there for her, whatever she needs. Let her vent, and no matter what she says...just love her with all you've got.

It's not easy for sure...but you can't let her emotions push you away. You are about to see how strong you can be, no doubt. But if you love her it is so worth it. She needs you more that ever now.

If you need to talk...just give me a friends invite hon...no problem. flowerforyou My heart goes out to you and yours. :heart:

abgrmom's photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:10 PM
you've just been given the opportunity to make every moment and every word count!
most of us go through life blissfully arrogant that we will always have time to apologize later when it fits our schedule or mood---then regret that we didn't say or do something.
take this terminal disease as an opportunity to say and do the things you want to remember with this person.
the simplest gestures and the simplest words will carry the greatest weight

auburngirl's photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:11 PM
Mike has a VERY good point!!!

I don't usually talk about this stuff but I'll say this much..my husband didn't even want people to know how bad things were because as he put it "I want people to be as normal around me as possible for as long as possible".

brooke007's photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:11 PM
Edited by brooke007 on Tue 07/15/08 10:14 PM
u be by their side and close with their family...to make sure all of her wishes are carried out. u call and check on her...dont leave her alone unless she wants to be...share stories, share feelings, and prayers

no photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:12 PM
my prayers go out to you and yours.

no photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:12 PM

you've just been given the opportunity to make every moment and every word count!
most of us go through life blissfully arrogant that we will always have time to apologize later when it fits our schedule or mood---then regret that we didn't say or do something.
take this terminal disease as an opportunity to say and do the things you want to remember with this person.
the simplest gestures and the simplest words will carry the greatest weight


Well said. flowerforyou

Redshirt's photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:13 PM
Edited by Redshirt on Tue 07/15/08 10:15 PM
Sorry to hear the news.

Having worked in a Hospice, best advice. Be there for them. Talk and visit the way you normally would.

flowers flowers

Have found this quote helpful

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair, of confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares."
Henri Nouwen

No1sLove's photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:13 PM

you've just been given the opportunity to make every moment and every word count!
most of us go through life blissfully arrogant that we will always have time to apologize later when it fits our schedule or mood---then regret that we didn't say or do something.
take this terminal disease as an opportunity to say and do the things you want to remember with this person.
the simplest gestures and the simplest words will carry the greatest weight
Amen! flowerforyou

BLUEYEDEVIL's photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:17 PM

How do you deal with it. Because someone that I love dearly has a terminal disease, and I just found out. I don't post often, but I need some help right now.
best advice i can give, surround yourself with loved ones. times such as these are never easy, and rarely ever can we deal with them on our own. let the love of those around you give you the strength and guidance you need

Cinderella75's photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:21 PM
Ohh I am soo sorry to hear that babe.
My dad passed away from a Terminal Illness..but he had like a few years to live b4 he passed away.
Just make a few nice memories with that person.
I wish I would of done that w/ my dad..but I was too busy being in the military..Just say your goodbyes.

Queene123's photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:23 PM
be supportive and dont walk away..
i find it hard to find someone do to my own health issue, as they dont know how to deal with it, and i tell them im just like anyone else and i do everything anyone can do and im a very determed person
i have had problems with my kidneys for over 25yrs and have been on dialysis for 3yrs and yea its depressing but im a survior, i also had a heart valve replacement about 3yrs ago as to find out it was a birth defect that doesnt show up untill your early 40s...

DONT WALK AWAY FROM HER WHEN SHE NEEDS YOU THE MOST!!!

BrooklineBaby's photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:24 PM

How do you deal with it. Because someone that I love dearly has a terminal disease, and I just found out. I don't post often, but I need some help right now.



Oh my dear man - having been through it - and being a nurse I feel for you.......the best advice I can give you is none - you love this person, therefore, believe it or not - you WILL just deal with it, sometimes as a robot in automatic mode, sometimes in a dazed state, once in awhile reality will hit you and THAT IS THE TIME when you will need someone you can turn to - someone who will be there for you to talk to - someone you can cry to, who will hold you up, lift you up, and help you "get back into the ring" so you can be strong for your loved one.
It is also good to ASK QUESTIONS of your loved one's caregivers, about ANYTHING YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND, if the privacy laws permit, and you can also, if you're up to it, ask to be involved in his or her care - health care professionals are usually very kind and undersanding and know that the holistic approach to care - body,mind, and spirit is probably the BEST medicine your loved one will receive, and it will also help you as well.

Good luck my friend, and my prayers are with you and your loved one. flowerforyou

STARTRAVELER's photo
Tue 07/15/08 10:27 PM

Been there...my fiance found out he had lymph cancer two months before our wedding.

All I can tell you is be there for her, whatever she needs. Let her vent, and no matter what she says...just love her with all you've got.

It's not easy for sure...but you can't let her emotions push you away. You are about to see how strong you can be, no doubt. But if you love her it is so worth it. She needs you more that ever now.

If you need to talk...just give me a friends invite hon...no problem. flowerforyou My heart goes out to you and yours. :heart:

Could'nt have said it better lost my mom two years ago to cancer and just lost a best friend this weekend . I feel for ya God bless ya and hang in there !:heart:

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