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| Topic: should you stop talking to your ex because your girlfriend | |
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Okay...I know not all of you keep your friendship alive after you broke up with your "once upon a time the love of your life"
 , but for those who still keep in touch with their ex's...would and should you let your current boy/girlfriend stop you from talking to your ex?
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The question was "should you". No, not necessarily, but if the new one is uncomfortable about it, then you should choose to make the new one more comfortable.
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The question was "should you". No, not necessarily, but if the new one is uncomfortable about it, then you should choose to make the new one more comfortable. What Ted said 
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I do what ever women tell me to do
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I would not let me current significant other , dictate to me about my Ex... a very concerned conversation would take place BUT mostly because I have children with my EX , and thats ALL we deal with ... if she ( in my own case), had issues with that ??? that could be a deal breaker ... Just my opinion of course ...
good luck  TTO 
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I do what ever women tell me to do  you're such a good man 
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Okay...I know not all of you keep your friendship alive after you broke up with your "once upon a time the love of your life" , but for those who still keep in touch with their ex's...would and should you let your current boy/girlfriend stop you from talking to your ex? It depends upon the relationship. Personally, if I dont have a ring on my finger, noone gets input as to who my friends are. In the case of engagement or marriage, however, my partner and I should be able to discuss what is important to us and most likely I would not completely cut off a friend but because of the sensitive nature of someone being an ex lover, I would not initiate contact with them anymore except to explain that it made my partner too uncomfortable. |
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I do what ever women tell me to do you're such a good man 
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If children are involved and it's stricly dealing with the children that is a common sense issue where two parents must communicate in many forms. If a new boyfriend/husband, or new girlfriend/wife is trying to get inbetween communication with the ex, this is not good, it is not there business to interrupt parental rights. Past flings, past ex's is always a debatable topic where you have to look at things with fine lines. Some say you should trust that they will be fine, since they did not work out and that is why they are an ex, othere's say well, they slept together what will stop them from doing it again, others say don't try to control your other partner as this is not right, and others say the ex should not be present in your life. The plain and simple truth is that if there are no children from this past relationship here is my opinion:
If two people love each other, no party will bring in possible influences that possibly could pose or ruin a relationship, thus the one who is "friends" with the ex and saying it's my right, is not looking after the relationship, but rather the their sole self. The vice is not good either, if you just lose the friend because the other person said so, they may try to stop all opposite sex friends, this is controlling and is not healthy for a relationship and it cann be perceived as abuse. I am pretty much saying use your common sense and just say do I want my current relationship to last or not? You will then have you answer, relationships are about give or take, but give and take is not about bringing potential harmful influences to your relationship. Truly perceive yourself in their shoes and think how you might feel. Talk about it, set agreements that both parties have to ablige to with the opposite sex or ex, it's not so hard, we are adults, not children. |
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If children are involved and it's stricly dealing with the children that is a common sense issue where two parents must communicate in many forms. If a new boyfriend/husband, or new girlfriend/wife is trying to get inbetween communication with the ex, this is not good, it is not there business to interrupt parental rights. Past flings, past ex's is always a debatable topic where you have to look at things with fine lines. Some say you should trust that they will be fine, since they did not work out and that is why they are an ex, othere's say well, they slept together what will stop them from doing it again, others say don't try to control your other partner as this is not right, and others say the ex should not be present in your life. The plain and simple truth is that if there are no children from this past relationship here is my opinion: If two people love each other, no party will bring in possible influences that possibly could pose or ruin a relationship, thus the one who is "friends" with the ex and saying it's my right, is not looking after the relationship, but rather the their sole self. The vice is not good either, if you just lose the friend because the other person said so, they may try to stop all opposite sex friends, this is controlling and is not healthy for a relationship and it cann be perceived as abuse. I am pretty much saying use your common sense and just say do I want my current relationship to last or not? You will then have you answer, relationships are about give or take, but give and take is not about bringing potential harmful influences to your relationship. Truly perceive yourself in their shoes and think how you might feel. Talk about it, set agreements that both parties have to ablige to with the opposite sex or ex, it's not so hard, we are adults, not children. Hemmmm.....  
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If you are looking for an answer that your knew lover may be controlling, I am just saying look at all aspects of everything. Would you let your man/woman go away on a camping trip alone for the weekend with their ex? Most people say absolutely not, but really try to tell them not to go, you are untrusting and controlling no? See logic works in multiple variances, you can have extreme examples, or mild ones that just don't seem so wrong, but in the end, the extreme example is in theory as harmless as the other!
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Okay...I know not all of you keep your friendship alive after you broke up with your "once upon a time the love of your life" , but for those who still keep in touch with their ex's...would and should you let your current boy/girlfriend stop you from talking to your ex? As long as you are open about the relationship with your current bf/gf I live by a standard... If your boyfriend/girlfriend were to walk in on you in when you are with them...and it would make you really uncomfortable for them to walk in on you...then you probably shouldn't be in that situation to begin with. |
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LOL!
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Okay...I know not all of you keep your friendship alive after you broke up with your "once upon a time the love of your life" , but for those who still keep in touch with their ex's...would and should you let your current boy/girlfriend stop you from talking to your ex? It really depends on what your relationship is with A) the ex, and B) the new person. If you are serious with the new person, and the ex undermines the relationship, then it may be time to break the relationship with the ex off. However, if either the new relationship is casual, or if it is a matter of simple control, then the new person may be the one with the problem. We all get jealous; having said that, my best friends in Toledo are two of my ex's. We decided that we worked out better as friends, and it is for that reason that we are. I have had some women try to put 'the boot' to me, explaining that the ex was a problem, although she had never met the new person. I explain to them that I had been faced with the ultimatum before, and as far as I am concerned, if a woman says the following without explanation, she will lose. "It is her or me." This is a good way to end a good relationship, however I will not throw a 7 year friendship away over a maybe with someone I have known for a week or two. If I were to see that my ex is undermining the relationship however; telling old stories, inside jokes, and stuff like that, designed to ramp up jealousy in the new partner, then the ex would have to be talked to, and in lieu of a solution, they would be the one out the door. |
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They need to graduate high school and grow up. I`m still friends with several ex`s but it will never be anything more, it is possible to just be friends.
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If it's a x boyfriend,I usually don't have any contact with them.So thats shouldn't be an issue.As for X husband of 26 yrs.We will always be civil, and we share a son together.If a call needs to be made both feel that we can.We live in different states. for a new boyfriend to feel he can stop me.Ohhhh I know that long before we are a couple.And there would be no relationship.What happen with trust and respect, and communication???
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I don't talk to any of my ex's so that would never be a problem.
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I do what ever women tell me to do you're such a good man Push over... hahaha |
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They need to graduate high school and grow up. I`m still friends with several ex`s but it will never be anything more, it is possible to just be friends. ^yeah that. I actually will encourage boyfriends to stay civil with their exes cause I don't like drama of any kind in my life. I don't have times for silly games of someone demanding I can't be friends with someone. Sounds like a lot of insecurity, neediness and self esteem of the new bf/gf. If people were honest and trusted one another or chose their SOs more wisely, then maybe they wouldn't have to worry about exs. If that's what they are like, hang on for bumpy ride and good luck with that. |
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what irks me is how some people have this tendency of allowing another person to dictate their actions??? If people treated one another the way they would like to be treated, with respect and trust, there'd be no damned need of boundaries nor these silly requests... sorry jumping off soap box... now back to our regularly schedule show
 would you also stop talking to your butcher because your significant other was jealous? would you stop smiling and saying hello to complete strangers (people you pass on the streets) because your significant other told you to/asked you to? wtf!!! |
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