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| Topic: why is it so hard for single moms to find a good man | |
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i am a full time single dad i have 2 childen under the age of 6. i have fouund that all that women want is sex. no one is willing to commit any more and people seem cold and heartless , and just out for themselves. Ohhhh.... Not contradictory but complimentary statement to OP...what differs is just gender!! However,IMO...it's not justifiable to say that,"all that women want is sex." It will be more rational to say that "All that women want is just a man,money,luxury & security without having responsibility" Anyways,irrespective of gender...It's obvious that it will always be more difficult to match up or comply with more than a single person than to find a compatible person. All one need to do is to put more effort in searching & be cautious while choosing. All the best to all single mom n dad for their searches. Pl.don't hesitate to ask for my help personally if I can help you all in matching up with one you like.  |
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I am wondering where the idea that all men, or women, want is sex got to be a bad thing.
Isn't that one of the basic elements of attraction? If you are not sexually attractive then what are you to the person ? A chair to sit on? A potted plant to water? Be glad someone is attracted to you. It is essential after all. Even if they are a great parent for your kid if they are not floating your boat you have just booked passage for yourself and your kids on the Titanic. And last I heard sex is how you got you your kids? Wanting sex is not a bad thing but poor timing of WHEN someone wants you to have sex is often the culprit that leads to misery. That is not exactly rocket science to determine when it is appropriate. If their ONLY interest is in your britches well that should be pretty obvious. I don't know to many men worth having that will dump you if you say not yet. But if you start out saying no or never or not in the foreseeable future well yea; can you blame them for moving on? You don't have your duckies in a row to have a desire and ability then you probably need to stop looking for a mate and do your life solo. But there is a little thing called SELF CONTROL but the WANTING is normal. A mate that doesn't want sex SHOULD worry you. A LOT. Someone who uses sex to manipulate you should worry you also. People who barter sex for whatever are prostitutes. Giving up sex only when you get the ring is pretty much marrying for the wrong reason from both sides. You should get married because you want to be married to the person not the genitals or the activies they facilitate. And the notion that NO men want a wife, family and home is balogne. Usually there are two guys who want family life. The ones that had a better than average home life coming up or at least live in a community where that was the norm. It is a natural to them as breathing. There siblings have spouse, their coworkers, their neighbors, where they go to play or volunteer. Or the one who always wanted it so bad he could taste it. You won't find them living in a singles complex, hanging out at party central, or doing high risk sports or volatile highly mobile professions. A guy who wants a family rarely drives and expensive sports car, crotch rocket, or hangs out in the casinos. He probably has not have a dui or a canibas card and he might not have a house but he probably had his same job for at least as long as you have had kids and plans on keeping it or at least getting a better one. They probably do something that shows they actually like kids. |
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probably true
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Mr.right we're u are!?
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Edited by
Happyalways40
on
Sun 02/14/16 05:44 AM
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well said
Most guys see single moms and think their easy! I for one don't think that but being a single father myself I know that single fathers tend to be looked at like dead beats! Unfortunately it comes with the single parent look! Being a single mom has nothing to do with being easy, thats insulting , im a single mom never been easy , desperate anything different than I ever was before, I take care of my kids on my own , I dont need childcsupport or a dad for them its not a prison sentence to be with people that have kids, were human, were fun, were normal .My life hasn't been put on hold if anything its better . The glass is not half empty, it's half full! Good attitude, You rock woman! All the best to you and yours!  |
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i agree with you
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Being a single father is not the same as having kids you see on the weekend...people only think deadbeat when they hear a non-custodial weekend parent call themselves a single father
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Im a single mom of 2 toddlers and it seems like all men want is sex |
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And the notion that NO men want a wife, family and home is balogne. Usually there are two guys who want family life. The ones that had a better than average home life coming up or at least live in a community where that was the norm. It is a natural to them as breathing. There siblings have spouse, their coworkers, their neighbors, where they go to play or volunteer. Or the one who always wanted it so bad he could taste it. You won't find them living in a singles complex, hanging out at party central, or doing high risk sports or volatile highly mobile professions. A guy who wants a family rarely drives and expensive sports car, crotch rocket, or hangs out in the casinos. He probably has not have a dui or a canibas card and he might not have a house but he probably had his same job for at least as long as you have had kids and plans on keeping it or at least getting a better one. They probably do something that shows they actually like kids. Pacific, you should be named the Dr. Phil of Mingle. My parents are still married, 51 years later, through thick and sometimes paper-thin. Divorce was very rare in my hometown growing up. My siblings are both married to good men, though they're both a little goofy. I own my home, and take care of it. I own a motorcycle, but not a crotch rocket, and a mildy-sporty well maintained 4 door sedan. I don't generally go to bars unless it's for my part-time business of DJ'ing and karaoke. I've been at my job for 17-going-on-18 years, and I don't usually indulge in high speed hijinks ( though there was an incident snowmobiling this year, but things like that are rare ). I volunteer for my hometown's Little League, and my 12 year old's friends all want to hang out at my house because we build models, paint and draw together, plus I let them have ( supervised ) free reign of all the electronics here in my home ( Playstations, Xbox, computers, etc.). I enjoy being a Dad, to both my birth children and my former stepchildren. The main reason I've been single this long is that my youngest took it very hard, and for a long time he was my social life. Now that he's got a handle on it and knows I'm not going to abandon him, I'm back out in the really-real world. As far as wanting sex, I'm human, but I have morals, too. If all I wanted was sex, there's a bar 2 blocks away, and near closing time it wouldn't be very hard to find. But sex is easy, relationships are much, much harder to find. |
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Im a single mom of 2 toddlers and it seems like all men want is sex If you are still legally married to someone, then why should a single man make an emotional investment in you? File a Divorce then.... and see if you both love to be with each other....If sex is all that they want, then they don't love you at all!!!.... A relationship can be worked out while processing the needed papers I guess... 
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In response to the OP: I've found that when I didn't have children and when I did, the ratio of men who ONLY wanted sex is about the same (because that is what you said, not a statement about ALL men, or a statement about men wanting to eventually have sex, but that it's SEEMS some men ONLY want sex). Personally, I wasn't looking for a man who just wanted sex before I became a mom, and I'm not looking for one now. It's just a part of dating that you have to deal with. As, I can only imagine, guys have to deal with it on their end. With or without children. Try looking at it like you look at other preferences that you weed out when dating. Like, I don't date vegans because I love a good steak. I don't date men who lack confidence because I have a thing for confident men. These are my personal presences. And while the majority of men that I've met in my dating career have wanted nothing but sex (and I have NEVER been promiscuous, or given off that vibe. I was nicknamed "The Nun" until my mid twenties), I don't take it personally. They can formulate their own dating requirements like I can. Just find people that align with you. They're out there, being a single parent doesn't change that. Good luck, and don't be afraid to be unapologetically choosy! :D 100% Agree 
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And the notion that NO men want a wife, family and home is balogne. Usually there are two guys who want family life. The ones that had a better than average home life coming up or at least live in a community where that was the norm. It is a natural to them as breathing. There siblings have spouse, their coworkers, their neighbors, where they go to play or volunteer. Or the one who always wanted it so bad he could taste it. You won't find them living in a singles complex, hanging out at party central, or doing high risk sports or volatile highly mobile professions. A guy who wants a family rarely drives and expensive sports car, crotch rocket, or hangs out in the casinos. He probably has not have a dui or a canibas card and he might not have a house but he probably had his same job for at least as long as you have had kids and plans on keeping it or at least getting a better one. They probably do something that shows they actually like kids. Pacific, you should be named the Dr. Phil of Mingle. My parents are still married, 51 years later, through thick and sometimes paper-thin. Divorce was very rare in my hometown growing up. My siblings are both married to good men, though they're both a little goofy. I own my home, and take care of it. I own a motorcycle, but not a crotch rocket, and a mildy-sporty well maintained 4 door sedan. I don't generally go to bars unless it's for my part-time business of DJ'ing and karaoke. I've been at my job for 17-going-on-18 years, and I don't usually indulge in high speed hijinks ( though there was an incident snowmobiling this year, but things like that are rare ). I volunteer for my hometown's Little League, and my 12 year old's friends all want to hang out at my house because we build models, paint and draw together, plus I let them have ( supervised ) free reign of all the electronics here in my home ( Playstations, Xbox, computers, etc.). I enjoy being a Dad, to both my birth children and my former stepchildren. The main reason I've been single this long is that my youngest took it very hard, and for a long time he was my social life. Now that he's got a handle on it and knows I'm not going to abandon him, I'm back out in the really-real world. As far as wanting sex, I'm human, but I have morals, too. If all I wanted was sex, there's a bar 2 blocks away, and near closing time it wouldn't be very hard to find. But sex is easy, relationships are much, much harder to find. True...Sincere Relationship is really hard to find....Must dig deeper under the haystack I guess... 
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Edited by
Manturkey1
on
Fri 03/25/16 08:37 AM
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i am a full time single dad i have 2 childen under the age of 6. i have fouund that all that women want is sex. no one is willing to commit any more and people seem cold and heartless , and just out for themselves. Excuse Me??? Are you speaking for "All Women"?? I beg to disagree  I guess you were just unfortunate, but don't be disheartened, maybe next time you'll get lucky... you'll never know...
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Edited by
Mystify35
on
Fri 03/25/16 03:47 PM
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I just end up blocking the ones who bug me for encounters. I may be a single mother, but I'm certainly not an "easy target". If that's the case, I don't want men like that bothering me anyway :)
Also suggest posting a nice head shot. You're a beautiful woman, but some men may take your picture as more suggestive than you are intending. :) |
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Edited by
Mystify35
on
Fri 03/25/16 03:52 PM
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@indignus
I know this is old. But it's refreshing to hear from a man's perspective of the taboos of dating single parents. As a single mother, I never took this "personally", nor does it mean it's EVERY man's perspective. But there are many men out there, usually younger generation (non parents) who live by this standard - which I respect. |
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Am a single mum of 1,,never married,must men date single mum becus of sex,and because they av experience. Bt they don't want to marry a single mum.
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Edited by
Scarecrow060972
on
Sat 03/26/16 07:39 AM
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Am a single mum of 1,,never married,must men date single mum becus of sex,and because they av experience. Bt they don't want to marry a single mum. I beg to differ. The right man, a good man, will marry a single mother. If they fall in love with you, then it's not much of a stretch to love your children, which are a part of and an extension to you. It was one of the most rewarding things I did. But I also understand where you're coming from...I overheard one of my karaoke regulars, in speaking about the attractive bartender, that "well, she's got kids, at least she puts out". ( I had him escorted out, no-one disrespects my friends ) Sad to say that some do have that mindset. Just don't give up, there is a man out there that will love you and your children. We're just hard to come by. My biggest issue is that most of the ladies I talk to find it hard to understand that I AM a single Dad, and my time isn't always my own, with school functions, Doctor's appointments, all the busy, fun stuff that comes with having children. It's hard to juggle a parental and a social life. I run a DJ and karaoke business, and it's hard for some of the women I meet doing that to realize that no, I don't want to go to another bar and continue to "party" once karaoke is over, I have to get home and relieve the babysitter :/ edited for spelling, not enough coffee yet |
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True...Sincere Relationship is really hard to find....Must dig deeper under the haystack I guess...frustrated Be sure you're looking under the haystack, not the compost heap. |
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