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| Topic: why is it so hard for single moms to find a good man | |
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I think the answer is clear, there aren't that many good men compared to good women. Again, why? Because women's survival tool is love. Men's survival tool is power. So, who is going to be the better person? Most men feel threatened unless they control women who's only goal is to love them. It's hard to find a good man who has healthier and smarter ways of using power. I see where we have entered the man hater club again. |
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a good man is hard to find - a hard man is good to find. end of story 
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Im a single mom of 2 toddlers and it seems like all men want is sex not all mem ;) |
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I think the answer is clear, there aren't that many good men compared to good women. Again, why? Because women's survival tool is love. Men's survival tool is power. So, who is going to be the better person? Most men feel threatened unless they control women who's only goal is to love them. It's hard to find a good man who has healthier and smarter ways of using power. I see where we have entered the man hater club again. |
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I have read every single post on this forum. and some are very long. first i would like to say that yes some men dont want to care for another mans child but the same is in reverse.. Also I would like to add typically the children go to the mom and dads have no rights. i am lucky me and my ex are friends with each other we even took an eight day vacation together with our daughter to Disney World.. but what i have noticed is that some women are like it is hard to find the good guy, the guy that wants to be in a relationship with me and help with the children in any capacity. one lady said that she waits 2 years before introducing her children to a partner.. and honestly yes it is good to wait some time but the longer you wait your kids know that if they dont want you to have a life as well they know that they can do something and you cancel your plans..
Now not all guys can help financially in a relationship. i am not supposed to be working due to an injury and need surgery to fix that however this does not mean i would be a bad partner because i am not supposed to work right now but do.. I am a good cook and to me you dont have to go out for dates all the time it is money taken from giving the kids what they need. to me a night in with a movie good food and games is more important then going to a resturant and spending $100.00 to impress someone.. that is not responsible... to go to a movie for 2 people just to get in is $30 or more dollars you add a reasonable meal at a eatery and that is almost another $30.00 so you are up to $60.00 now you may want popcorn and a soda at the theater that is another $20.00.. when for 30 dollars you can buy a board game rent 2 movies and cook a wonderful healthy meal together at home. this also lets the kids meet the person in a fun environment and a safe one . sure dont let him or her move in after a few weeks but it gives everyone more time with each other. your kids wont feel that the new person is taking all your free time and your new partner will think hey they are trying to make time to involve me in their lives as well and it is much happier for all.BOTH single moms and single dads or even a parent with a child that mainly lives with the other spouse has it hard and yes it is hard to juggle time to spend with every one and yes when you get into a relationship with a person who has kids their ex will always be a part of your life whether good or bad it is a fact get over it and be understanding of this. even people without children who have been in a relationship with someone else has baggage.. that is also a fact and accept it discuss it and move on dont be envious of the ex they are the ex for a reason dont make waves between the parents of the others child but work as a larger unit to raise the child better if the ex isnt abusive include them on some of the game and movie nights it is better all around.. i am not a thin man and i am not the best looking man but anyone with children isnt going to be and the biggest heros never look like they do in the movies.. so get over the flaws and see what is inside physical beauty is only skin deep but personality goes to the mind soul and heart. and that is my pennies worth |
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Maybe it just takes time to find Mr right guy... Someone who's gonna love you for real...
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look at it this way if diamonds were as easy to find as rocks, they would be of little value good people (men or women) are like those precious jewels, they may not be the simplest thing to find amidst the average 'rocks', but that's why they are so valuable and cherished once we find them Wow....!! Nice thinking MS!...You are blessed...!!
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I once asked that question but then reflection answered it for me
basically, if the kids PARENT didn't want to be a 'good man', why is it shocking that it will be challenging to find strangers who want to be? parenting , despite common culture, is a hard job(if you are doing it right) with no compensation and little to no appreciation few want to sign on for the role,, particularly with other peoples kids,, I can understand that,,, |
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It's not all men dear.....
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You are right...... Can I get to know you?
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AMEN!!! We are all hard wired to procreate...but some who's mama's didn't spank em enough or who's daddy passed on ignorant values/beliefs have flooded society with view that is wrong and needs correcting.We all deserve respect love and understanding. But thats earned by being and giving respect. Remember the last part of your title...MOM...raise your kids to be fair respectful and not buy into stereotypes.... |
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Very much agreed
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Hello how are you? Its really nice meeting you! Am really interested in you, My name is Robin, do you care for a chat?
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Hello how are you? Its really nice meeting you! Am really interested in you, My name is Robin, do you care for a chat?
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Well some men are just not ready to settle down. But their are others like my self that have kids as well. So I know what you mean. How old are your little ones?
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I have read through and I'm happy to see men like myself be a part of the forum .. I have a son who is 6 and I pray to meet someone who will love him like hers and all that, I do personally love kids,kids are meant to be showered with love and care and affection whether you the dad or not or whether you the mom or not.. Single mom's out there I do respect y'll alot, not easy at all.. I always wanned my first child to be a girl,no special reasons...
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Any single woman around that wanna chat and get too no one an other. Xx
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Edited by
PurplePinky
on
Thu 12/03/15 07:17 AM
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In response to the OP: I've found that when I didn't have children and when I did, the ratio of men who ONLY wanted sex is about the same (because that is what you said, not a statement about ALL men, or a statement about men wanting to eventually have sex, but that it's SEEMS some men ONLY want sex).
Personally, I wasn't looking for a man who just wanted sex before I became a mom, and I'm not looking for one now. It's just a part of dating that you have to deal with. As, I can only imagine, guys have to deal with it on their end. With or without children. Try looking at it like you look at other preferences that you weed out when dating. Like, I don't date vegans because I love a good steak. I don't date men who lack confidence because I have a thing for confident men. These are my personal presences. And while the majority of men that I've met in my dating career have wanted nothing but sex (and I have NEVER been promiscuous, or given off that vibe. I was nicknamed "The Nun" until my mid twenties), I don't take it personally. They can formulate their own dating requirements like I can. Just find people that align with you. They're out there, being a single parent doesn't change that. Good luck, and don't be afraid to be unapologetically choosy! :D |
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Well I guess you look in the wrong place lf you would like to chat tex me 07701311121 kind regards phil
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Some of us diamonds look a lot like rocks ! lol
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