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| Topic: Breast feeding in public & posting all over the internet | |
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any lactating mom from kl. :-p
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My daughter wouldn't breastfeed unless it was in private, but there's nothing wrong at all with breastfeeding anywhere anytime and the more mothers do it the more people will get used to it.
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My daughter wouldn't breastfeed unless it was in private, but there's nothing wrong at all with breastfeeding anywhere anytime and the more mothers do it the more people will get used to it. Very true |
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It's what breasts are for. Convenience super food. I breastfed mine everywhere even in an Indian restaurant while we all had dinner lol
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I'm trying to listen to the pastor at church when sitting to my right a young mom pulls her boob out & slams her sleeping infant into her ... Damn it's awful no blanket to cover her & that was just weird to see It's one of the most natural things in the world to see in public, same as a couple kissing or a toddler having a tantrum. It's part of being a mother and it shouldn't be suspended because others have a problem with it. 
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Breastfeeding in public should be left up to the discretion of the mother. If such a mother is naturally shy or reticent about breastfeeding her child in a public place, it's not like there aren't secluded or withdrawn locations even in the most public places.
If the mother really doesn't care about popping her top in public and letting the world see her feed her baby, then I'm not going to raise a fuss about it. You see animals and little kids do worse all the time. But it's the ones who sit down in the middle of a crowded place, pop their tops, and feed their baby for all the world to see, then yell at the passersby for staring, or not giving them privacy (when privacy is a few short steps away) that bug me. Granted, there are some exceptions to this situation. On my last plane trip, I was sitting in the window seat next to a couple with a baby. The mother was sitting right next to me, the father in the aisle, presumably to give her some cover while she breast-fed her baby. I paid very close attention to the book I was reading. |
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do it or don't as you are comfortable. and maybe add alittle discretion while doing it. a friend of the family was visiting and showing off the new baby. the clothes she chose to wear and the way she tuned to get comfortable and you never would have known she was feeding. except for the fact that she asked if anybody minded first. not a soul commented except to tell her not to ask again.
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Edited by
msharmony
on
Wed 06/03/15 10:58 AM
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as to posting on the internet,,,'men shall become lovers of selves',, I think we have become too egotistical a culture in general
and the obsession with having to post to the internet a photo or detail of every thing we do is kind of scary,,,imho I mean, I doubt people want to see a photo of me drinking a glass of milk,,what makes someone so egotistical as to think others want to see their baby with their breast stuffed in its mouth? shrugs |
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Edited by
Leigh2154
on
Wed 06/03/15 11:44 AM
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This is what I know about breasts...
Male and female breasts have milk glands... The two main aspects of the female breasts are erotic pleasure and feeding our babies... For males, it's erotic pleasure...I'll add that a small percentage of men (excluding newborns) do lactate...While true that actual breastfeeding by males has been observed, it has never been sufficiently documented... Since a woman's breasts are multi purpose, wouldn't a mature adult person be unconcerned with where, when and how breast feeding mommies nurse their babies especially if they understand that choice is being determined by the baby's needs, not those of the nursing mother...Shouldn't the baby's needs supersede those of the lurkers?... |
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Edited by
DavidCommaGeek
on
Wed 06/03/15 11:51 AM
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Does that then follow, Leigh, that we should always put up with babies when they are tired, sick, or hungry, when they start to cry and whine, when they start to burp and smell, if they are in public places with easy recourse to more private or reclusive areas, because they have needs that should be respected? If the baby is really having that much trouble, shouldn't the baby stay at home, where care is more easily provided, and with all the privacy anyone could desire?
If the mother/parent is refusing to take their troubled infant to a more private or reclusive area when their baby is obviously bothering other people around them, then that's all on the parent, not the baby, and the parent is a conscious adult aware of the fact that they can go somewhere more private. But if a mother/parent did want to make themselves and their baby a spectacle in a public place, they shouldn't ***** about it when people treat them like a spectacle. |
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Does that then follow, Leigh, that we should always put up with babies when they are tired, sick, or hungry, when they start to cry and whine, when they start to burp and smell, if they are in public places with easy recourse to more private or reclusive areas, because they have needs that should be respected? If the baby is really having that much trouble, shouldn't the baby stay at home, where care is more easily provided, and with all the privacy anyone could desire? If the mother/parent is refusing to take their troubled infant to a more private or reclusive area when their baby is obviously bothering other people around them, then that's all on the parent, not the baby, and the parent is a conscious adult aware of the fact that they can go somewhere more private. But if a mother/parent did want to make themselves and their baby a spectacle in a public place, they shouldn't ***** about it when people treat them like a spectacle. Perhaps you should phone ahead before you enter a public domain to make sure you will not be confronted with ANYTHING YOU find offensive... 
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Answer the question, Leigh. :P
And to answer your question with a question: Is it not easier for one person to change their behavior a little bit, than it is for everyone around them to change their behavior a lot? Or do you just want the whole rest of the world to change for you? Isn't that the exact attitude you think I/the person phoning ahead has? Is not one of the functions of a public place to be somewhere anyone can go, no restrictions on movement or prohibiting anyone from entering? And yet, some breastfeeding mothers attempt to do exactly that - prohibit or restrict someone from moving in a public place - when they breastfeed their infant in public, and then drive away anybody who comes close on the grounds of "indecency", "perversion", or "lurking". |
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Answer the question, Leigh. :P And to answer your question with a question: Is it not easier for one person to change their behavior a little bit, than it is for everyone around them to change their behavior a lot? Or do you just want the whole rest of the world to change for you? Isn't that the exact attitude you think I/the person phoning ahead has? Is not one of the functions of a public place to be somewhere anyone can go, no restrictions on movement or prohibiting anyone from entering? And yet, some breastfeeding mothers attempt to do exactly that - prohibit or restrict someone from moving in a public place - when they breastfeed their infant in public, and then drive away anybody who comes close on the grounds of "indecency", "perversion", or "lurking". We're talking about kids being hungry, beautiful children. If a mother wanted me to move elsewhere while she breast fed her kid I would have no problem whatsoever. |
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That is very thoughtful of you. As a mother I do my best to take into consideration the people around me, it's part of being a good mom. Sometimes that is hard to do, and in the end my child's needs are my first concern. Besides imagine a crying screaming hungry baby compared to a content breastfeeding baby, which one would bother people more? So, that is why breastfeeding should be acceptable behavior in public.
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Answer the question, Leigh. :P And to answer your question with a question: Is it not easier for one person to change their behavior a little bit, than it is for everyone around them to change their behavior a lot? Or do you just want the whole rest of the world to change for you? Isn't that the exact attitude you think I/the person phoning ahead has? Is not one of the functions of a public place to be somewhere anyone can go, no restrictions on movement or prohibiting anyone from entering? And yet, some breastfeeding mothers attempt to do exactly that - prohibit or restrict someone from moving in a public place - when they breastfeed their infant in public, and then drive away anybody who comes close on the grounds of "indecency", "perversion", or "lurking". So, am I understanding you correctly?...One mother nursing her child in public is something that EVERYONE finds offensive?...How did you determine that?...And yeah, you're right, it would be easier for one person to change in order to accommodate the majority, so I think you, not nursing mom's and their babies, should stay home... PS:..It is the owner(s) of the public establishment who decides what is or is not an appropriate "function" in same, not you...or me...or the nursing mom...or the burping baby... 
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Edited by
DavidCommaGeek
on
Wed 06/03/15 03:06 PM
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Personally speaking, I can always ignore a breastfeeding mother if I found it offensive enough to worry about it. The point I am trying to make, that seems to keep being skipped over, is with regard to the mothers who do breastfeed their children in public, but regard being seen doing it as offensive to them, the mother. (I only assume the baby doesn't care either way.)
It is the mother choosing to feed her baby in an open, public place. She is the one consciously choosing to perform that action at that time. Thusly, it is up to the mother to modify her behavior to ensure that she, the baby, and the public are comfortable with it. It's not like someone else is telling her, coercing her to feed her baby then and there, and then yelling at her for doing it. The baby has no conscious control of the situation, so it is improper to blame the baby. It's not as if there are no other alternatives like bottle-feeding or - as I have been advocating - moving to a more discrete place. The baby can wait the 10 seconds for mommy to duck around the corner. Parallel: People smoke in public places. Not everybody finds smoking offensive. Should people who smoke not worry about causing other people offense because other people are okay with it? Parallel that doesn't include health hazards: Spitting. Some people just up and spit in public. Not everyone finds it offensive. Should people who spit be free to do it because some people do not find it offensive? Parallel the third: People who are talking extremely loudly or even shouting in a public place. (Especially about a private matter.) Some people don't find this offensive. But if the people who are shouting about a private matter in a public place take offense at being overheard, who takes the blame for that? Would you prefer that the rest of the people in the public place be evacuated so that these two people can shout in peace? And the definition of a public place is that it is "owned" by the public. (Or those who take charge of it on the behalf of the public, like the government.) I'm talking parks, fairgrounds, plazas, etc. You seem to be thinking of privately-owned buildings or business that accept the public into their establishments in order to sell them things. Those locations have the right to ask people to leave if they are making other patrons uncomfortable. Somehow, though, I get the feeling you would oppose the owner's right to do this if people complained about it. |
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Personally speaking, I can always ignore a breastfeeding mother if I found it offensive enough to worry about it. The point I am trying to make, that seems to keep being skipped over, is with regard to the mothers who do breastfeed their children in public, but regard being seen doing it as offensive to them, the mother. (I only assume the baby doesn't care either way.) It is the mother choosing to feed her baby in an open, public place. She is the one consciously choosing to perform that action at that time. Thusly, it is up to the mother to modify her behavior to ensure that she, the baby, and the public are comfortable with it. It's not like someone else is telling her, coercing her to feed her baby then and there, and then yelling at her for doing it. The baby has no conscious control of the situation, so it is improper to blame the baby. It's not as if there are no other alternatives like bottle-feeding or - as I have been advocating - moving to a more discrete place. The baby can wait the 10 seconds for mommy to duck around the corner. Parallel: People smoke in public places. Not everybody finds smoking offensive. Should people who smoke not worry about causing other people offense because other people are okay with it? Parallel that doesn't include health hazards: Spitting. Some people just up and spit in public. Not everyone finds it offensive. Should people who spit be free to do it because some people do not find it offensive? Parallel the third: People who are talking extremely loudly or even shouting in a public place. (Especially about a private matter.) Some people don't find this offensive. But if the people who are shouting about a private matter in a public place take offense at being overheard, who takes the blame for that? Would you prefer that the rest of the people in the public place be evacuated so that these two people can shout in peace? And the definition of a public place is that it is "owned" by the public. (Or those who take charge of it on the behalf of the public, like the government.) I'm talking parks, fairgrounds, plazas, etc. You seem to be thinking of privately-owned buildings or business that accept the public into their establishments in order to sell them things. Those locations have the right to ask people to leave if they are making other patrons uncomfortable. Somehow, though, I get the feeling you would oppose the owner's right to do this if people complained about it. It doesn't matter who is in charge, they call the shots, not the patrons...If there are no rules or laws preventing it, nursing mom's can nurse in ANY public establishment... Anyone who finds it "offensive" can leave, look away, or report it to the proper authorities...I'm saying I do not find it offensive on ANY level including a nursing mother's right to defend herself against objectification by lurkers...I'm defending the owner's rights, the nursing mother's rights and the baby's rights by disagreeing with you...And your analogies, IMO, are apples to oranges...The topic is breastfeeding in public....Not soiled diapers, burping or crying babies, sick babies, smoking, spiting, yelling. and, for that matter, what I would or would not oppose... |
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Personally speaking, I can always ignore a breastfeeding mother if I found it offensive enough to worry about it. The point I am trying to make, that seems to keep being skipped over, is with regard to the mothers who do breastfeed their children in public, but regard being seen doing it as offensive to them, the mother. (I only assume the baby doesn't care either way.) It is the mother choosing to feed her baby in an open, public place. She is the one consciously choosing to perform that action at that time. Thusly, it is up to the mother to modify her behavior to ensure that she, the baby, and the public are comfortable with it. It's not like someone else is telling her, coercing her to feed her baby then and there, and then yelling at her for doing it. The baby has no conscious control of the situation, so it is improper to blame the baby. It's not as if there are no other alternatives like bottle-feeding or - as I have been advocating - moving to a more discrete place. The baby can wait the 10 seconds for mommy to duck around the corner. Parallel: People smoke in public places. Not everybody finds smoking offensive. Should people who smoke not worry about causing other people offense because other people are okay with it? Parallel that doesn't include health hazards: Spitting. Some people just up and spit in public. Not everyone finds it offensive. Should people who spit be free to do it because some people do not find it offensive? Parallel the third: People who are talking extremely loudly or even shouting in a public place. (Especially about a private matter.) Some people don't find this offensive. But if the people who are shouting about a private matter in a public place take offense at being overheard, who takes the blame for that? Would you prefer that the rest of the people in the public place be evacuated so that these two people can shout in peace? And the definition of a public place is that it is "owned" by the public. (Or those who take charge of it on the behalf of the public, like the government.) I'm talking parks, fairgrounds, plazas, etc. You seem to be thinking of privately-owned buildings or business that accept the public into their establishments in order to sell them things. Those locations have the right to ask people to leave if they are making other patrons uncomfortable. Somehow, though, I get the feeling you would oppose the owner's right to do this if people complained about it. 
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Edited by
DavidCommaGeek
on
Wed 06/03/15 05:18 PM
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I'm saying I do not find it offensive on ANY level including a nursing mother's right to defend herself against objectification by lurkers... Thank you for making the point. This is exactly the reason why a mother should remove herself to a more discrete location: to not give the lurkers anything to objectify or complain against. This being a public place, the "lurker" has a much right to be there as she does, let's not forget. If the mother asks one person to leave because they don't like it, then don't they have the right to ask the mother to leave on the same grounds? Is not the best fight the one you've already won? If she removes herself to a more discrete location, the baby gets fed (objective #1), she isn't the object of drooling lurkitude (objective #2), and no-one can be offended by her actions (if indeed, there is anyone around who takes offense)(objective #3), and, lastly, if someone does intrude upon her, she has a perfectly valid right to complain and ask them to leave or turn away (objective #4). To put it in slightly simpler terms: A breastfeeding mother should remove herself to a more discrete location so she does not offend people who do not want to see that. A breastfeeding mother should remove herself to a more discrete location to protect herself from the people who DO want to see that. |
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I'm saying I do not find it offensive on ANY level including a nursing mother's right to defend herself against objectification by lurkers... Thank you for making the point. This is exactly the reason why a mother should remove herself to a more discrete location: to not give the lurkers anything to objectify or complain against. This being a public place, the "lurker" has a much right to be there as she does, let's not forget. If the mother asks one person to leave because they don't like it, then don't they have the right to ask the mother to leave on the same grounds? Is not the best fight the one you've already won? If she removes herself to a more discrete location, the baby gets fed (objective #1), she isn't the object of drooling lurkitude (objective #2), and no-one can be offended by her actions (if indeed, there is anyone around who takes offense)(objective #3), and, lastly, if someone does intrude upon her, she has a perfectly valid right to complain and ask them to leave or turn away (objective #4). To put it in slightly simpler terms: A breastfeeding mother should remove herself to a more discrete location so she does not offend people who do not want to see that. A breastfeeding mother should remove herself to a more discrete location to protect herself from the people who DO want to see that. I don't know how the word fight applies except in your own mind...Once again we disagree...I think the lurkers should be removed, not the nursing mother...It is the lurker who is offensive... |
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