when the public restroom is all out of toilet paper

when you're riding in a car with a bad driver

tailgaiters

george bush

when someone flushes the toilet while you're taking a shower

and to piggyback off sweetie's last one, when you call for tech support and get that indian guy with a terrible accent trying to say big words.

gypsy

the best of both worlds is to find that encouraging compassionate leader who'll take charge but treat his followers, including you, with respect. they're rare, but every once in a while you'll catch one. i see them around, usually the high-up managers who aren't pricks, but also the ones who aren't pushovers.

not "i need this done, and i need this done now, or your balls will be served to my dog"

not "ok, i'd love if you could possibly do this, pretty please? there's no rush at all, i really like it if you could put it on my desk in the next seventeen months and it doesn't have to be perfect. here, let me get you a coffee while you get started."

how about "hey, i'll give you something you're good at. i'll show you how to do it now, and if you get it on my desk by lunch i'll treat you to my favorite place so you can explain where you think we should go from here on this project. i'm counting on you."

i think a lot of women date jerks because they appear to be "top dawg" or alpha male among their friends. they tend to be the ones with the confidence and leadership to take over and get stuff done. a lot of women love the thrill with being around the best of their group, and assume he'll naturally be the best of her group as well.

yay, more football drama! last time i paid attention it was TO ruining the eagles with his pathetic whining and crying about suicide, and now it's michael vick ruining the falcons with his cold blooded violence.

sadly though, we make football players be vicious on the field and pay them big bucks to do so, beating people up all day for a living. the more intense and violent they get, the more they get paid. you mean to tell me this won't pass into their own personal lives? get real.

i learn a lot over the phone... whether they call alone or with a lot of people in the room, whether they talk clearly or muffled, loud or quiet, whether they have an accent, a speech impediment, or a lisp.

it all fits into the picture and gives you a better sense of what's going on. have i ever been turned off by their voice? yup. it's usually the really quiet ones where you can't hear a word they say, and they always get really angry and defensive when you tell em to speak up, and quiet back down again in a few seconds.

i once heard someone say "necrophilia, because dead girls can't say no"... seems relevant, almost. haha

yeah, i think we got too many people busting his balls, repeating each other and rubbing stuff in a little.

onward! if you wanna look cool at a car meet, pick up a girl while you're there. i think of guys who bring girls they don't know to car meets as posers. it's the same kinda poser stuff as having a rice burner. i've been to plenty in my mr2, with and without girls in the passenger seat. learn the etiquette man.

jerks spark the same response in women as supermodels do in men.

attraction isn't a choice. try being a semi-jerk, with the attitude but without the cheating, lying, dishonesty, etc. women don't like pushovers, like being told when they grind your gears, and want you to tell em to get their own stuff instead of getting it for them. be a challenge!

nancy, you're a card. you need to be dealt with. good one

i like when people check me out. yep, i do have hidden easter eggs for those who view me

hmm, now that i've actually verbalized this, it's pretty nice to have it broken down. i'm getting a much better sense of who my best matches are, based on what i really want. i've been rejecting quite a few smokin hot women who were simply lust --> functional... i've fallen back on that too many times in the past, and i'd never identified it until months into the relationship.

i think i've got it narrowed down to two girls i have real mutual chemistry with, based on my current friends list. this is after narrowing down other sources that sparked attraction in either direction. i'm very attracted to them both, but in a "she's my kind of girl" way, not "she's the kind of girl who'd impress my friends" way. i don't want a girl who wants me for any reason other pure deep harmonious feelings after talking with her for a few weeks.

for some of you, complimenting relationships will have that same feeling of perfection. i have a friend who just got married in a compliment (opposite) relationship. my parents are also in one. it works great in both of these relationships - both sides help each other out in ways they could never achieve on their own.

i also agree iam4u. i'm trying to keep it as broad as possible in a big picture sense, to try to accommodate all of the infinite possiblities. you're talking about chemistry there though. you have specific deep qualities you want in a woman, and want her to share that with you.

thanks king. it's been helping, and i've found a handfull of really awesome girls that fit into the mutual chemistry role. i like that.

casual sex isn't a stable relationship, but it's technically a relationship, because you continue interaction with the person. it doesn't work in my book, but it does for some people.

yeah, sex based tends to be functional. they're service a purpose for you. lust rather than love, it still keeps you together with em and creates a longer lasting relationship than one interaction.

and i agree kingbreeze that there are tons of different combinations of these. i like to look at the big picture here and figure out what i'm getting myself into as i look at a woman. what are her strengths, and my goals if i was to be with her? what are her goals and motivations for being with me? are they compatible, or could they backfire? for instance, if one person thinks it's chemistry and the other thinks it's functional, then we've got a heartbreak just waiting to happen. similarly, is she someone looking for a pity/control relationship? it's nowhere near perfect, but it's a start.

i wouldn't limit complimenting to platonic relationships. generally they are attracted like opposite poles of a magnet.

i'd say, complimenting kinda falls between chemistry and functional, with a little of both. i've found that functional tends to be based on what society tells you to do, while chemistry is based on your own needs and desires. complimenting has the functional feeling to it, but is based on personal attraction.

one person could be very motivated and meticulous with details, with a great memory but lacking creativity. on the other hand, the other could be a very creative big picture person with great ideas that is very forgetful and unmotivated without help. one could be an adventurous risk taker that is a lot of fun, while the other brings the relationship back to earth with a strong sense of safety and security, making sure nothing stupid happens.

if they look at you a hundred times, either they're too shy to say anything, can't figure out what to say, you changed your default pic and they thought you were someone new, or they're making fun of you to their friends.

or they were just curious. sometimes that happens too

karen, you make a good point that this doesn't really just apply to sexual relationships like i originally thought.

i've found chemistry to be the most stable, as people tend not to really mind the other person's faults if they have them too. the downside here is that you can get blindsided if you don't logically think about it and make sure they're right for you. it's easy to get caught up in a good feeling.

it seems most people say they want a functional relationship. it's the most traditional "find a man with a good job who can support you" and "find a woman who is hot and will take care of the kids while you're at work" kinda deal.