Hhhmmm...how tough! I understand how tough it must have been.

But then, I have come to understand very clearly from the Bible and from life's experiences that the path to heaven is indeed (as the Bible has said) very narrow. Think about the pain of finding your way through an extremely narrow road; that would explain to you why we have to battle through so much. Very consoling however is the Bible verse that says, "those who endure to the end shall be saved".

Please pardon me to say some additional things - I think that if all your wife wanted was to get free to continue to do what she wanted, nothing would have stopped her from walking out/away from you and the children.

True forgiveness is one that makes it possible to endure what looks impossible to endure. Sometimes we think and assume that we have forgiven but deep inside, hurt/pain/regret remain. These pains/hurt/regrets are indicative that forgiveness has not taken its full course. Sometimes, the power to forgive totally and completely does not lie in us as human beings (depending on the degree of hurt we have been subjected to) and God's expectation is for us to turn to HIM and tell HIM this and ask for HIS grace to take over and to make forgiveness take its full course.

My biological/older brother and his wife at a point in my life ganged up together to hurt me so terribly - beyond what I can explain to you. I knew that as a Christian, I must forgive and I kept saying I had forgiven but inside me, pain remained. I had to get down on my knees to pray for me! I would get onto the floor in my house (when alone), roll all over the floor while at the same time crying with agonizing tears, and telling God that I lacked the inner strength to forgive these terrible things that had been done to me and that I did not want to go to hell because of un-forgiveness...that unless HE intervened, I was helpless.

God heard that cry of helplessness and did intervene. I no longer think about them or what they did to me with pain. God's grace took over from where I had reached the end of the road as a human being.

Please take this matter to God and DO NOT shut your mind about reconciling with your wife.

Dear SmartDave5,

Thank you for sharing something so personal with the rest of us in this Christian community.

You already hit the nail on the head - that God's standards WILL NOT CHANGE because of me or anybody. This is so true. That's why HE is God and that's why the Bible says HE is no respecter of persons!

I bet it will be nice for you and the rest of your family members (who were at that vigil and heard those words of knowledge), to begin to intercede on behalf of your uncle and the two women in his life - for the mercy and grace of God to flow in; such that the wrong can be corrected as a follow up to repentance.

Your father took a stand for God's word by disapproving the second marriage. Believe me, when it is time to face God, it is the word of God that will judge us on the scale. The essence of the blood of Jesus is to redeem us and also for us to remain in that redemption. When we find JESUS CHRIST and thereafter return to disobedience to God's word without repenting of the disobedience, we cannot escape the judgment of God's word.

Believe me also that, absence of biological children, rudeness from a wife.......etc, will not be reason for God to change His word and His standard.

We always have all the excuses as human beings for doing everything we do, just as Cain had reasons for what he chose to do to Abel..etc.
But may God's mercy continually locate us and help us to always put things right and to abide by His word. Amen.

Hello, yellowrose10. I really like your name - maybe because I can't remember when last I came across yellow roses. It is really nice.

It is true that violence and brutality are really horrible and not at all condoned by God as between a husband and a wife. BUT we must also note that the Bible does not say violence is a condition for divorce. We need to make a distinction between our own perceptions and what God says in His word. In this regard, I believe the contents of 1st Corinthians Chapter 7, verses 10 and 11 (reproduced below) would be useful.

On the second point about differences in faith, in 1st Corinthians Chapter 7, Paul talks about this as well (verses 12 and 13 reproduced below):
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.

9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

But it is important to note here that this is talking about a situation of conversation of one spouse after marriage has been contracted; not one of deliberate disobedience to God's word about not getting unequally yoked.

God's richest blessings to us all. Amen!

Thought the main purpose of this community is Christianity?

Plus ... always see to it that God is at the center of it all.

God bless.

Yeah...msharmony, you are right about those images. I engaged in both national and international human rights advocacy/activism for many, many years and I understand perfectly what you mean, when you use the word, 'images' in the context of this discussion.

But you know what I have always told women waiting for marriage? I have always counseled them, "DO NOT marry any man that you know you cannot submit to or obey". The truth is that if a woman marries a man, God's word is expressly clear and it says to the woman to submit to her husband. This is not negotiable!

I have seen women get so desperate about waiting and being tagged 'chronic spinsters', that they jump to the alter with the next man that comes around, and say "I do".

That's it! The vow is made at that point and by God's word, it is not just "I do", but also, "till death do us part". The Bible says a man is bound to his wife for as long as she lives (same vice versa).The man also becomes the head, once the vow is exchanged - whether in church or in the registry.

A lot of women (out of desperation) push off God's instruction "NOT to get unequally yoked". Then they enter a lifelong battle. I have seen some women who got unequally yoked but after the marriage resolved to live in obedience to God, which often meant disobeying their husbands; they have also had to pay high prices that make an already difficult Christian race even much more difficult. A friend of mine received instruction from her husband not to go near the church or the Christian brethren - also that he did not want to see any church person in his house. So, she would sneak to church when he wasn't around. And when he found out, hell would be let loose...on and on...

Really, when God gives us any instruction, it is the best for us. The only condition under which a woman should marry a man against her will is if she is certain that she heard God clearly that she should marry the man. But I am convinced that in such a situation, God would also plant the right affection that would not make it hard for the woman to submit; such that the marriage is no longer necessarily against her will.

We must bear in mind also that God does not go against HIS word. Therefore if a woman claims to have heard from God that she should marry a man that does not share faith in JESUS CHRIST, she probably needs to dig deeper before hopping in.

God help all of us. Amen.

I wouldn't say the standard is to encourage a person who walked away to re-marry.

I must admit here that something struck me hard in a new way, in the two verses that cowboyGH had shared previously, to wit; "...and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery". (Luke 16:18)

The fact that the Bible says that whosoever marries a woman that is put away from her husband also commits adultery, makes the situation heavy.

I have read this verse many, many times but for some strange reason, I had always thought that the person who does the divorcing or does the putting away is the person who sins and that the person who is put away is not bound by any implications. Unfortunately, I see clearly that there is also an implication for that person who is put away.

No wonder God says in Malachi 2.16, "..I hate Divorce".

I have learnt one thing in my Christian walk: Looking for ways to satisfy my human cravings and fleshly desires always lead away from leaning on grace. But when we make up our minds to stick out with what scripture says, leaning on grace and God's power becomes the only way out. When we lean on God's grace and power, we carry on with strength that we never thought we had.

May His grace and power sustain us all; so that in that day, we will be co-heirs with JESUS CHRIST. Amen!

Hi. I must thank you again for sharing such personal issues to the depth that you have.

I am able to understand the issues better.

But please forgive your wife - I do not want to call her your "ex". Forgive her, especially if she did turn to you in repentance and ask for forgiveness from you.

Based on Biblical standards, it is better to forgive. Now forgiveness is not always a very easy thing - in fact, it is usually harder than easy. And there are always countless reasons why we cannot forgive. But ultimately, it is the best and it earns us a reward in heaven too. But above all, it is a commandment from God - that is, to forgive.

PLEASE FIND A PLACE IN YOUR HEART TO FORGIVE HER. Can you imagine how we betrayed God in the past? But HE still sent JESUS CHRIST. I know this is terribly hard, but please forgive her.

Personally, I would like to share that there are two prominent reasons (amongst several), why I will follow/serve GOD to the end and will give up ANYTHING that is capable of interfering with my relationship with the LORD:

1. I believe God's word and know from HIS word, that HE so loved me that HE sent HIS only Son, JESUS CHRIST... that believing in HIM, I will NOT perish but have everlasting life. God having loved me so much, I owe HIM my love too. The only way I can display that love is to accept/follow Jesus Christ and OBEY God wholistically, not in part. Living in line with the Bible is obedience.

2. I CANNOT cope with an eternity in hell fire...I DO NOT want to spend eternity in hell fire... I DO NOT want to spend my eternity where the devil will be. The mere thought of burning in fire without end horrifies me to my bone marrow. I DO NOT want it!

Now I know from God's word (the Bible), that unless I go by the path/way that God has told me to go in His word (the Bible), HE will have no apologies about casting me into hell, where I DO NOT ever want to go.

So, for these reasons (mainly) and others, I WILL OBEY GOD AT ALL COSTS, even if it is painful to me or even if it does not suit my fleshly desires. My love and my fear of God form the basis for my relationship with HIM.

Proverbs 14:12:
"There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death"

Proverbs 16:25:
"There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death".

Having shared the above, I would like to express that my intention is not to offend anyone here. The purpose of Christian fellowship is to stir ourselves unto righteousness - in line with God's word; NOT in line with what pleases us.

The desires of the flesh contradicts the desires of God as contained in the Bible. So, please, let's learn from one another without taking offence.

God bless us all. Amen!

Great song/prayer - To see God more clearly...Love HIM more dearly...and follow HIM more nearly...

Amen!

The debate about submissiveness within the context of marriage is always interesting.

As a woman, when my life was less submitted to the LORD, I used to think it was so unfair and saw the instruction to women to submit as a license to men to maltreat their wives, in a growing terrible world.

But I have realized that God does not ask for my opinion as to whether or not I should live in obedience to HIS word and HIS instructions. HIS standard is simply that I should obey HIM - period! So, for the woman, the obedience is unto God, whether the husband deserves it or not. And it does not matter even if that 'husband' in the woman's own eyes is un-deserving of obedience or submissiveness. It is God's instruction! That instruction must be obeyed!

And for men who have battles securing submissiveness from their wives - hear me out please. A woman who is truly loved by her husband hardly has problems submitting to or obeying that husband! In law, we say that for every general rule, there is an exception. So there may be exceptional cases but in general, show me that woman who is loved and respected by her husband and I will tell you, that woman would submit to that husband and hate to disobey him.

Men...please realize that your responsibility here is much greater than that of the woman. It is to love your wife as Christ loved the Church and gave His life for the Church. That is the standard of love that God requires of a husband. The husband must love his wife enough to be prepared to lay down his life for her.

I see men stressing submissiveness all the time and leaving out to talk about the husband's duties.

God will help both men and women to live right for HIM at all times and within the context of marriage. Amen!

Dear JaUkNz,

God bless you for your openness and sincerity. God loves honesty and truth. HE will help you. Always remember that HIS grace is sufficient for you.

I believe that you can also tell God you are sorry for having walked out of your marriage and that HE should please restore your marriage. With men, this may seem an impossibility but with God, it is not an impossibility.

Either way - whether HE does this miracle for you or HE chooses that you have to remain single, HIS will always provides grace as well.

If it is a possibility, you may also need to communicate to the man that you are sorry for having walked away and to ask for forgiveness - not as a way of pulling him back (that's something that only GOD can do after 24 years!), but by way of fulfilling all righteousness.

And please know that all thoughts of suicide are from the pit of hell and are attempts by the devil to make you drag your own soul into hell. No murderer (including those who take their own lives) will inherit the kingdom of God.

God will help you! Cling to HIS grace through JESUS CHRIST. Amen.

Hhhmmm!

I had this discussion one time with a friend. He kept insisting that God is a loving God and that people should be taught to love HIM and not to fear HIM.

The Bible has the answer to this controversy. Does God's loving nature stop HIM from being ONE to be feared? The Bible teaches us to both love HIM as well as fear HIM. HE is a loving God and is also a God of judgment. Matthew Chapter 10;28 is reproduced below:

"And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."

I once had a pastor/wonderful singer. In between sermons he would sing periodically. I heard him sing, Oh LORD, you are terrible...so terrible in your ways... Yahweh...Yahweh...

At my own level at that time, it grieved me that pastor would sing of God as a terrible God. Much later, I dived into Bible study and found in the Bible itself, where GOD HIMSELF DESCRIBED HIMSELF AS A TERRIBLE GOD! I also saw other parts of scripture where God is described as a terrible God. Then I realized I had been wrong.

God's show of love towards us does not take away HIS right to be feared by his own creatures. We must love the LORD our GOD as well as fear HIM.

God bless you. Amen!

Please pardon me for asking - is it that somehow forgiveness never worked out its full measure or some other complications crept in? I mean - having that kind of heart (so rare to come by) to continue to live with her - was it not worth forgiving all the way? Why the separation that now leads to her being your ex and the children now finding out about that act of unfaithfulness and seeing it as you having hidden something from them?

I am just trying to understand - no harm meant please.

Jesus said concerning HIMSELF, "I am the way, the truth and the life.."

So, when we speak and live in truth, we are sure that it is in line with God's word.

The world does not like truth but as Christians, we should not be tied to the world but to God and HIS word.

When we walk in the light of God's word, we are never alone. God is with us, though we may not see HIM with our physical eyes.

Be encouraged!!!

GENESIS 19:
1And there came two angels to Sodom at even; and Lot sat in the gate of Sodom: and Lot seeing them rose up to meet them; and he bowed himself with his face toward the ground;

2 And he said, Behold now, my lords, turn in, I pray you, into your servant's house, and tarry all night, and wash your feet, and ye shall rise up early, and go on your ways. And they said, Nay; but we will abide in the street all night.

3 And he pressed upon them greatly; and they turned in unto him, and entered into his house; and he made them a feast, and did bake unleavened bread, and they did eat.

4 But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter:

5 And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.

6 And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him,

7 And said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly.
8 Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.

9 And they said, Stand back. And they said again, This one fellow came in to sojourn, and he will needs be a judge: now will we deal worse with thee, than with them. And they pressed sore upon the man, even Lot, and came near to break the door.

10 But the men put forth their hand, and pulled Lot into the house to them, and shut to the door.

11 And they smote the men that were at the door of the house with blindness, both small and great: so that they wearied themselves to find the door.

12 And the men said unto Lot, Hast thou here any besides? son in law, and thy sons, and thy daughters, and whatsoever thou hast in the city, bring them out of this place:

13 For we will destroy this place, because the cry of them is waxen great before the face of the LORD; and the LORD hath sent us to destroy it.

14 And Lot went out, and spake unto his sons in law, which married his daughters, and said, Up, get you out of this place; for the LORD will destroy this city. But he seemed as one that mocked unto his sons in law.

15 And when the morning arose, then the angels hastened Lot, saying, Arise, take thy wife, and thy two daughters, which are here; lest thou be consumed in the iniquity of the city.

16 And while he lingered, the men laid hold upon his hand, and upon the hand of his wife, and upon the hand of his two daughters; the LORD being merciful unto him: and they brought him forth, and set him without the city.

17 And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said, Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed.

18 And Lot said unto them, Oh, not so, my Lord:

19 Behold now, thy servant hath found grace in thy sight, and thou hast magnified thy mercy, which thou hast shewed unto me in saving my life; and I cannot escape to the mountain, lest some evil take me, and I die:

20 Behold now, this city is near to flee unto, and it is a little one: Oh, let me escape thither, (is it not a little one?) and my soul shall live.

21 And he said unto him, See, I have accepted thee concerning this thing also, that I will not overthrow this city, for the which thou hast spoken.

22 Haste thee, escape thither; for I cannot do any thing till thou be come thither. Therefore the name of the city was called Zoar.

23 The sun was risen upon the earth when Lot entered into Zoar.

24 Then the LORD rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven;

25 And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground.

MORNING MOTIVATION

When I woke up this morning lying in bed, I was asking myself, “what are some of the secrets of success in life?”
I found the answer right there, in my room….
The fan said…Be cool
The Roof said…Aim high
The Clock said…Every minute is precious
The Mirror said…Reflect before you act
The Calendar said…Be up-to-date
The Door said…Push hard for your goals
AND NOT TO FORGET, THE CARPET SAID…KNEEL DOWN AND PRAY!

(Author unknown)

People who feel attraction for people of same sex and for people of opposite sex have always existed in the history of mankind. In the old testament portion of the Bible, we can read about some people, who did things against the natural order as created by God - in the days of lot, after lot and up until the present age. See portions from Romans Chapter 1 below:

23And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.

24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:

25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.

26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:

27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them."

The truth is that people will always do what they want and come up with everything they can to defend what is done. But the key question to ask is whether what is done complies with God's instructions as laid out in the Bible. Whatever does not comply with God's word is against God. Whatever is against the word of God displeases God. And whatever displeases God is sin!

The fact that people do things and have reasons for doing them does not necessarily make what they do right in God's sight. God's standard is laid out in the Bible!

It is also interesting that the list extends beyond homosexuals to backbiters...the proud...inventors of evil things...the unmerciful.

I do not check here regularly but it is interesting today to check and see this conversation on sex which has continued into 2015. I bet the topic of sex appears to always sell among humans, like no other topic - for whatever reasons!!!

Now getting down to a concrete reply, I would say outrightly that CowboyGH, Dodo_david and some others have hit the nail on the head correctly.

John 12:47-48 is reproduced below:
47And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.

48He that rejecteth me, and receiveth not my words, hath one that judgeth him: the word that I have spoken, the same shall judge him in the last day.

It comes out clearly from these verses that the Word of God judges all men. Therefore, when the Bible says not to do anything and we go ahead and do that same thing, the same word that instructed us not to do it becomes our judge. When therefore, Cowboy and others quote the scripture, the judgment is not from them but from God's own word. It is because the word is our judge that we must repent with deep rooted repentance as well as turn away from anything that is against the word of God.

Again, John 7.24 says, "Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment." What is righteous judgment? It is the judgment that God's word already pronounces!

Matthew Chapter 16:
24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.

26For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?

Please note verse 26 in particular. Is there anything worth losing your soul for? Think about the Bible's description of hell and the bible's description of eternity...flames of fire...sulphur... and... brimstone... the worms die not....place of torment...crying...and...gnashing of teeth...forever...everlasting torment....etc...etc

Sin (whether it is in the form of sex outside of marriage or theft...or murder or even lies) is not worth going to hell for. Jesus offers an alternative, which is HEAVEN. But we can only go to heaven on God's terms - not on our own terms. The Bible says no unclean thing will enter heaven. The blood of Jesus offers us the cleanliness that we need for heaven. The grace of God is poured down through Jesus Christ. We need to both embrace grace as well as remain in grace. The Bible says there is no temptation or trial that befalls us which is uncommon to man and that in every temptation or trial, God also provides a way of escape.

We do not have to live according to fleshly desires - God wants us to live in His grace and thereby be free from satisfying the lusts of the flesh

God bless us all and help us to live in the grace that Christ offers, so that sin does not have dominion over us. Amen>