Im dating someone, and it has been only a month, we whent out a couple
of times and we talk on the phone, he came to my house and met my sons,
and he seems like a nice guy!!
I realy like him, but he wants to take things to fast for me
and Im ready to date and get to know him, but Im not ready to have sex
with him, I believe Im being carfull, because I don't believe that I
should do something just because it has to be done but went I feel that
is right!! and it doesn't feel right yet!! he keeps trying to take this
relationship to far to fast
and my question is, for those of you who know my issues,
Am I still having problems with dating, or am I right for being
carfull,? is it too soon for me to commit to a relationship that I don't
know where is going to go ? or am I being afraid,
I haven't dated for years and realy will use your advice!!

well, have to work now, but I will be back on soon,,,
thanks

no , take it slow if he wants sex before commitment he s not for you.

Morena, take it slow and easy...If he is jumping into the sack, and you
are not ready, don't do it just because you think he is a nice guy...You
are stronger and more worthy than that...Sure you like him, but you do
not "owe" him anything...Go at your own pace and if he doesnt
understand, then move on girl...You have to be careful these days...
Much love...SCG

hey sweetie, there is so much more to a relationship than sex!!!
But u know wht girl...there comes a time in a persons life when sex is
not everything and I think you are there, so if it's love first that you
are looking for, then listen to your heart and do go with your gut
feelings. It's one thing to like someone and want to have sex with them
and it's another to love someone and let thing happen naturally. sounds
like we are all on the same page here. you're my home girl and you know
I want nothing but the best for hon. love ya, good luck and god bless!
poison

Talk to him about it, it may feel uncomfortable but you need to get this
out in the open. I agree you must follow your heart and it takes a true
gentle man to understand when the time is right. We all know that this
is very important in a relationship and to discuss it should be done for
both people to understand each other's ideas and feelings in this
important decision.

TG

G

MORENA IF IT DOESNT WORK OUT, YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN ALWAYS KICK IT WITH
ME ! :-)

Morena, Like Joan on Girlfriends, you need to let him know you have a 3
month rule, no sex for 3 months until you decide if he's the one, in my
case I shortened it to 6 weeks, but in any case, you do not have to do
anything you don't want to do, if he really cares, he'll wait, because
you are worth it. Good luck with him,I hope he's the ONE!

I think you have your head on straight and you know when the time is
right! You said that it doesn't feel right, so just tell him...if he
doesn't feel the same way and doesn't want to wait, then he isn't truly
the nice guy that you thought he was. It isn't good to push a
relationship to far to fast esp now a days, so just go with your gut
feeling!
You seem like a very nice person and you deserve to have a great guy, so
if he isn't willing to wait....don't give in! I myself, I have a 3 month
rule--I date them for 3 months before any kind of sexual things happen
because honestly sex boggles the mind. Once you have sex with them, you
are not sure if you like them for sex or for them! So, just go at your
own pace and not what he wants...your a smart lady and you seem like you
know what you are doing...so just follow your head!! Good luck, Pamela
:)

Well girl sounds like you have gotton a lot of good advice follow your
heart if it don't feel right then don't do it if he does not understand
then he is not right for you anyway. It has already been years what is a
few more months. Until it feels right to you then don't. Listen to the
others they all have very good points. Wish you the best girl.

Morena,
You are the one that determines when you are going to make love. I can
understand not wanting to rush into things too fast. I can also
understand his desire to bring your relationship to the next level. I
think you should sit down with him and talk seriously about it. I dont
think you should form some rule in your mind on how long prior to you
allowing sex. To me, personally if a woman told me nothing for three
months outright I would either walk prior to allowing her to hurt me
inside or say ok I will call you in three months. Then I would go find a
replacement. Needing time is completely understandable. Even if it takes
you longer then 3 months the thing is if you come out with a rule like
has been suggested they may feel after three months it is their right.
You still may not be ready for sex then. When and if you feel the time
is right to have sex with him I have faith you will let him know in some
way. Another point you might want to consider you might want to eplore
and play with him at different levels prior to actually allowing him to
have sex with you. He might get off prior to that three months without
you ever spreading your legs.
There are alot of ways a woman can get a guy off and still keep her
clothing on.

I know you loved your man before and probably always will. Just go at
your own pace not someone elses and don't become a prude.

Hey GF!!

You do what is best for you and your family. To us women having sex is
a big commentment (well it should be anyway) to men its not a big thing
(ok not all men).

I think you should do what your heart tells you. Talk to him, explain
your issues. If he still pushes, I would let him know that you need
space, and that when he grows up to be a REAL MAN you will call him.
(hehehehe)

Take care doll face
T

Well, lets see if I can put a spin on this. A mature, careing man would
not act as a imature teenager. To know a person and to trust them take
time. How long? That is what you decide. Mature men know that when a
woman shares herself with them it is an honor and privilage. Not his
right or for you to prove that you care for him. If he will not slow
down to a pace that you are comfortable with, he shows how shallow he
really is. Just my thought on the matter as recently told to my 18 year
old daughter. Good luck and let your values guide you.

hi morena ,, you should tell him what you are feeling , if he is a good
man he will understand ,, and it will also explain to him why you are
not all frisky , and he may be wondering to himself some things ,, good
luck girl , there is nothing wrong with feeling cautious and being
careful but dont let it get to a point of interference , an open
trusting relation ship begins that way , if he is good people he will be
patient .

Ya' all covered it. Good lick Morena Girlfriend. Just remember, it's
easier said than done.

Moreana,

I'm happy for you that you have found someone. Be the kind of person you
want to find. When that happens...

Sex seems to always be the real issue with most people, men and women.
My experience has been that women in relationships tend to use it as a
bargining chip for other things. I believe that a lot of men out there
have the same tendancy. The main reason why I am not with someone now,
is because I have not found someone who is as serious about life and
living as I have been. If you are going to be completely honest with
your self, keep the theme of sex and its related issues out of the mix
of your conversations with him -- focus on the things that really
matter, and don't turn your relationship into a political arena. I
thought none on this site want 'drama'.

From what you've described, it sounds like his main priority, the climax
of his interest in you is sex. I don't believe for a minute that he can
see you as an actual, complete human being (if you know what I mean)no
matter how nice he may seem. He just isn't that evolved!

If you are looking for a man mature enough to recognize you
holistically, and value your life as if it were his own, then you
yourself have to finally make some resolutions: the problem you have
with dating stems from your own irresoluteness about what you really
want.

Be the kind of person you want to find. When that happens,

you will know how to answer your own question. If he can't be honest
about his primary interest in you, settle on him if you just need
someone, anyone, and compromise. But for now, if you have to let him
go, just let him go, and be true to yourself, and be patient.

Be vigilant: don't let just anything happen to you!

morena, if the dude really cares about YOU, he'll respect your wishes
and take it slow. If he's in it for HIM, he'll keep pushin the envelope.

Well, Red you are right. Morena,I know he will get upset if you tell him
about your feeling, but if he loves you, he has to wait for that moment
come.

do whatever feels right for you... if want to get yours then get some
and keep it casual... if you dont just tell him and if he cannot handle
it, move on..

did i hear morena say she'll take slow.....lmao
i'll be waiting.............

morena, if this man really likes you, he will understand where you are
coming from. don't do anything until you feel comfortable. and if he
get's to pushy...tell him the door swings both ways, he came now go
out.......good luck and be safe.