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Topic: My Son
MikeOxbig's photo
Tue 05/13/08 10:58 AM
Edited by MikeOxbig on Tue 05/13/08 11:03 AM
Does anyone else think that this is a problem.

My Son who is 3 gonna be 4 next month has a complete fit everytime our visits together is over. I get him every weekend Friday thru Sunday. Sometimes I even get him during the week. It seems that everytime I drop him off his mother has to bribe him in a way. Every time me and him talk on the phone he wants me to " pick him up already". He usually has a fit when i tell him i cant and then he goes off into a violent fit. His mom always tells me how naughty he was or that he is talkin back to her. Ive never had a problem with him, well unless i started it. We can get pretty rough at times. I always talk nice about his mother well when he is around. He always tells me that he dosent love his mommy anymore he just loves me. I dont spoil him with toys or money or tell him anything," Brain washing" as she puts its.I just kinda see this as weird. anyone else.

yankeesnut's photo
Tue 05/13/08 10:59 AM
Maybe there's something going on in that house that he's uncomfortable with. Talk with his mother... or he just really misses you and likes you more than her..haha

Queene123's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:00 AM
yea that sounds like a problem, does she have a new man in her life.. and bribing is not good, as he going to think he will have to be bribed all the time

shoes4rhon's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:01 AM
children that age throw fits .. but how you handle it will give you insight to the reason .. is he overstimulated by the end of your visit .. is there a problem with his mother or do you suspect abuse ? My guess would be normal temper tantrum stuff but always look for signs

wikkedlilgrrl's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:01 AM
hes reaching that age where his bond with his mother starts to fade, so maybe hes just upset dad isnt around full time. or maybe something is goin on at home with his mom that he doesnt like. You should talk to him and her see whats goin on.

FallinAngel82's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:01 AM
simple he misses being with you when your gone

its very normal

my son would do the same thing when his visits with his dad were over

granted his dad doesnt make much of an effort to come see him , even though right now he's got my blessing to see him and keep him over night any time as long as i have no previous plans with him

he enjoys his time with you and doesnt want it to be over

the only thing i can tell you is a few hours before time for the drop off talk to him about ur weekend together and be sure to reassure him that you'll see him again soon but its time for his mommy to have her time with him now.. and make sure that he know's that you love him and that u will miss him when he's not there

MikeOxbig's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:07 AM
Yeah ive talked to him alot about things. especillay his mother my thing is that she likes to party and watch the Life time movie channel..... The man haters network. the kid is always playing video games or just watching TV. When one of HER shows are on there is no talkin and she dosent answer the phone to anyone but her mom or sister.

MikeOxbig's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:08 AM
or outside playin by himself when he is with me we are always doing stuff.

bgeorge's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:09 AM

Yeah ive talked to him alot about things. especillay his mother my thing is that she likes to party and watch the Life time movie channel..... The man haters network. the kid is always playing video games or just watching TV. When one of HER shows are on there is no talkin and she dosent answer the phone to anyone but her mom or sister.

that's not being a mother...can you get full custody?????

lilith401's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:09 AM
No, this is natural. Kids pick favorites. I happen to be the favorite right now with my son.

Try teaching him to be respectful of his mother, that would be a great gift to him, and to you. It would seem he is mouthy to mom as she is the primary caregiver, and the one who provides structure and discipline in the setting he is most comfortable with.

In sum? He is testing her, and you. He is not in control here and that is hard. Provide him with security and allow him to feel it. But don't spoil him or pity him... love him enough to say his behavior is not okay.

MikeOxbig's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:10 AM

children that age throw fits .. but how you handle it will give you insight to the reason .. is he overstimulated by the end of your visit .. is there a problem with his mother or do you suspect abuse ? My guess would be normal temper tantrum stuff but always look for signs


well he gets brusies, but they are usually from when me and him are fighting or when we are outside playing. I dont think his mother could abuse him. She knows i would stab her in the eye with a spork.

MikeOxbig's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:13 AM
Yeah i cant spoil him. thats not how i was brought up. thats only the grand parents job. And the dicipline thing Im a kinda big guy and i have a deep voice. and my spankins hurt. he knows all of this. he was like this when me and his mother were togther. no it just seems worse when he is with his mom.

lilith401's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:14 AM
Edited by lilith401 on Tue 05/13/08 11:14 AM
Unless you are living in the house with her day to day, how can you know what she does? It is wrong to assume. This is your son's mother....

And I do NOT MEAN physical discipline.

MikeOxbig's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:17 AM
wow, misunderstanding me here. when i say me and him fight its like he is leonardo and im michalangelo. He Knows that its not ok to be naughty by me. beacuse i can yell loud and when i spank it hurts.

MikeOxbig's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:19 AM
Edited by MikeOxbig on Tue 05/13/08 11:19 AM
and i never said that his mother was abusing him.
and i see what goes on in the house from a day to day basis his mother is still my friend. My friends go to her house. im not implying anything bad upon his mother. We've only been seperated for 9 months.

lilith401's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:20 AM

wow, misunderstanding me here. when i say me and him fight its like he is leonardo and im michalangelo. He Knows that its not ok to be naughty by me. beacuse i can yell loud and when i spank it hurts.


No, I am not misunderstanding you. Spankings are physical discipline. That is my reference. Not towards your comment of wrestling. If you are hurting him that much when you spank him, why are you spanking him? There are beter ways to teach respect, and when you try to teach it by hitting.... well it just does not work.

lilith401's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:21 AM
Edited by lilith401 on Tue 05/13/08 11:22 AM

and i never said that his mother was abusing him.
and i see what goes on in the house from a day to day basis his mother is still my friend. My friends go to her house. im not implying anything bad upon his mother. We've only been seperated for 9 months.



Are you actually reading my posts? I said you were assuming her behavior.

In regards to her still being your friend.... it certainly doesn't sound like it. You need to take these issues up with her and co-parent instead of telling us. She is the party here involved...

Good luck.

MikeOxbig's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:23 AM


wow, misunderstanding me here. when i say me and him fight its like he is leonardo and im michalangelo. He Knows that its not ok to be naughty by me. beacuse i can yell loud and when i spank it hurts.


No, I am not misunderstanding you. Spankings are physical discipline. That is my reference. Not towards your comment of wrestling. If you are hurting him that much when you spank him, why are you spanking him? There are beter ways to teach respect, and when you try to teach it by hitting.... well it just does not work.


ohh yeah i hear yeah. see i was physically diciplines alot growing up. Bad i can tell you horror stories. but eveything i got hit for i deserved it. the only time i spank my son is when he really really deserves it.
example

my cat had babies he threw one of the kittens in the snake tank, the snake is a 7 ft python... whap


lilith401's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:25 AM
Ummmmm. I think it is time for me to exit this thread. I do bnot want to violate forum rules. Have a nice day, all.

lcjw's photo
Tue 05/13/08 11:27 AM
Small children can not express in adult words what bothers them, instead they throw fits; I believe that throwing a fit, is not just that, they are expressing unhapiness, being uncomfortable, etc., Find out what is going on with him. flowerforyou

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