This is a thread for people who have lost a husband or wife. We can discuss the issues of loss etc, parenting alone, loss of income, and entering the dating world again.

I have been a member of a local group for several yrs. Helps to chat with people that have walked or are walking the road of widow & widowers.
Let's keep this going.

I guess we can start off by doing intros.



I lost my husband to lung cancer June 13, 1999. He was 37, I was 35 at the time. We were married 12 years, no children. Always meant to get around to that, just ran out of time. We went to high school together; I knew him since I was 15 although we didn't date back then.

i just wanted you all to know that i am sorry for your losses and that my father is a widower has been for the past 20 yrs. i think its wonderfull ma'am that you are starting this thread i think it will help everyone. good luck and best wishes.

I have been a widower, 11 yrs, now.
How many of you find sleeping late is a hard thing to do? How do you get around it?

Sleeping at all is still difficult. It's probably the one thing that has never really returned to normal. I seem to sleep in spurts and dashes....a few hours here and there.

I haven't lost a wife but have been so close to so many who have. One particular which is a great loss to me and still really saddens me is story of Karen we were so close but never slept together. Her boy friend Beaver got some cancer the name of which cant say or remember but he lost a limb then another then another until he was reduced to almost nothing bodywise.
2 days before he died they got married.After his death Karen changed completely sold her possessions and went to Tailand and set up a suvenier shop for tourists. She was doing OK and then the Tsunami in Banda Ache wiped her away and was never found
She was a good singer I recorded her and those tapes haunt me

sunflower, show your dad the site, he might enjoy.

I have found I sleep later, when I have a companion. Gwen told me; "I never expected you to be a priest." I had just told her, I would never marry again, BUT...
She understood. When I realized the sleep thing, I just found it interesting, proof to me; man is not meant to live TOTALLY alone. I always wake up early, no matter how late I went to bed.

I lost my husband of 30 years to cancer 11 years ago. It took me this long to want to get back into the swing of things.
The greates gift I have ever had was to be able to care of him at home and make his journey from this world to the next as comfortable as possible . He died in my arms and about 15 minutes before he looked up at me hardly able to speak but in a wisper he said thank you for making my life worthwhile.!

Sage

Betty

You too hun

We were inpatient the last month. I slept there too. He turned jaundice the last week so on a Sunday a.m. they took us down to the G.I. lab to do a scope procedure called an ERCP. They felt the cancer was below the liver (since his liver scans were still clean) in the common bile duct or the gallbladder. We kissed, said I love you's. Lab is closed to the public on Sundays so we were the only ones down there. Roughly 20-30 minutes later "code blue g.i.lab" came over the p.a. He coded on the table just as they got started likely due to the morphine to relax his gag reflex for the scope. As a little time passed, I was glad it happened as it did. Very peacefully for him, and no bed-side vigil goodbyes.

Found it, thanks Auburngirl

Do you still feel your spouse watching over you ...I do!

Hey Twin!!


Betty, I feel him at various times. I lost both parents since he died and felt him a good bit then.

Ok, I married very young (15). He was 100% disabled vet. He was not lost in war, but due to heart disease. Five long years on and off a transplant list. We had 1 child whos is now 15. I was married to him all of my life until he died 2 1/2 yrs ago.

I had one relationship since that lasted a few months.
I think perhaps I am not used to be alone and just want that instant "belonging to someone"...It is hard to be alone when you been with somebody all your life. But, some parts are kind of good...like realizing when something breaks that you can fix it yourself! That makes you proud.

2 months after I lost my husband, my mentally ill sister lapsed into an irreversible coma due to hospital negligence. She lingered in coma 5 months. I buried her 6 months after my husband. You just don't know how strong you are until you are face to face with something that forces you to be. I know now I could handle most anything...not everything , though...my 15 year old daughter is my heart and anything bad pertaining to her would do me in for sure!

As far as dating...not sure I am ready. I think this past 3 yrs needs more time to sink in.

That's a nice thought...and yeah, I have moments like that.

((Betty, Auburn))

Gwen was going code & I was holding her as a nurse lowered the bed. I knew she was gone when I laid her down. Stapdaughter wanted them to try, after a few min., I said let her go.


A few days earlier, when we were talking.
She gave me my last honey do list.

1. Take care of dogs
2. Take care of kids
3. Have fun

I feel she has watched over the son in his Navy career. Everytime he has gone to Saudi, things quieted down in that area.

((lilangel))

Take your time, you may NEVER marry again.
Doesn't mean you can't a special relationship.