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Topic: Need a man's point of view please
unsure's photo
Sat 07/12/08 07:44 AM
Ok I have a question and this is not to dog on the men this is what is happening to me. Maybe you men can help me try to figure out what is going on??
I am dating this guy who seems to be very nice BUT we make plans and few hours later he might call me and say something came up. Now he does reschedule every time but this has happened 3 times in the last week. So tell me what you are thinking about this!!
He does work a full time job and then he also has a part time job. Plus he spends time with his son...I know he is busy BUT isn't it kind of strange to make plans at 4 and then call at 7 and say something has came up?

no photo
Sat 07/12/08 07:50 AM
confront him about it.

no photo
Sat 07/12/08 07:52 AM
I know you want a man's pt of view but I am guilty of the same thing.Between work, school fulltime and a four yr old....it leaves little time to eat sleep and breathe let alone date. If he reschedules he obviously really want to make it work but his schedule has not allowed him to yet. If you think you can handle being third to his work/child try to be patient. Sounds like he just has a lot on his plate. Busy people are lonely too! Best of luck, girlflowerforyou

loverboyf933's photo
Sat 07/12/08 07:55 AM
It sound like he is up to no good. When u said he made plans at 4, but called u at 7. It doesn't sound right to me. But he does have two jobs and a kid to take care of. Just have talk with him about it. And if he doesn't spend much time with u after the talk, then just move on and find somebody else.brokenheart

unsure's photo
Sat 07/12/08 07:58 AM

I know you want a man's pt of view but I am guilty of the same thing.Between work, school fulltime and a four yr old....it leaves little time to eat sleep and breathe let alone date. If he reschedules he obviously really want to make it work but his schedule has not allowed him to yet. If you think you can handle being third to his work/child try to be patient. Sounds like he just has a lot on his plate. Busy people are lonely too! Best of luck, girlflowerforyou

Thanks Therapygrl..this is what my mom told me. It just bothers me that he reschedules ALL the time...but I do know he has so much going on. Plus I really like that he is a good dad to his 7 year old son. If I have a date scheduled and something comes up...I don't think twice about how they feel if I reschedule, so maybe I am being a little bit selfish. I am sure he is very busy and very tire...When I was going to school and working, I actually ended my relationship when he told me I wasn't showing him enough time! So patience has to be a must here. Thanks for the input flowerforyou

PATSFAN's photo
Sat 07/12/08 07:58 AM
It sounds like he has a full plate as far as time is concerned, but I think the best option for you is to have a good talk with him & let him know where you stand on this matter, it would be benificial to you to figure out if it's a waste of time.

Nathan_v27's photo
Sat 07/12/08 07:59 AM
Maybe he is busy with his job, or...he could be trying to make you wait, and wonder, to keep you on a leash...Now sometimes that is kinda good, a little suspense and waiting does make it grow stronger, but there is a fine line. Do let him know that you are not going to put up with it, but also consider, something real could have come up, so its hard to say. I hope that works out for you.

no photo
Sat 07/12/08 08:00 AM
:smile: Like they said communicate with him...if he has no time&you need some from him,explain,if still no good...either patience or dumping needed.Johwell

no photo
Sat 07/12/08 08:02 AM
Sounds like sometimes he might not be in the mood after getting off of work or something.


For me, I have done that before, but not to talk or mess around with other women. Just because I get maybe tired.... Have a gut feeling that it might not be a good time.. Get a lil sick. It happens.


Now how often he does this, might also be a factor. But if the guy reschedules (and follows through), then I don't see a problem with it.

unsure's photo
Sat 07/12/08 08:09 AM
Actually, we are not dating exclusively...so I can't really say to much to him. Sure I could say something like..Do you realize that you make plans with me but then you always cancel and then reschedule? BUT I don't really want him to think I am being a total b!tch about things because he does have so many things going on.
I was thinking about letting things ride for a week and see how many times he does this...then talking to him and telling him that maybe he just doesn't have enough time for me! The only convenient thing is...I don't really want someone hanging around full time and being clingy. BUT I don't want someone like this either!! Maybe I am the confused one laugh

DQ66's photo
Sat 07/12/08 08:57 AM

Actually, we are not dating exclusively...so I can't really say to much to him. Sure I could say something like..Do you realize that you make plans with me but then you always cancel and then reschedule? BUT I don't really want him to think I am being a total b!tch about things because he does have so many things going on.
I was thinking about letting things ride for a week and see how many times he does this...then talking to him and telling him that maybe he just doesn't have enough time for me! The only convenient thing is...I don't really want someone hanging around full time and being clingy. BUT I don't want someone like this either!! Maybe I am the confused one laugh

I found myself in a similar situation recently. YOU will have to decide if you want to wait around on him to have time for you. If you really like him, it'll be worth it. If you're not sure, see other people. Doesn't mean you can't see him anymore....JMO flowerforyou

BlueskyJ's photo
Sat 07/12/08 09:16 AM

I know you want a man's pt of view but I am guilty of the same thing.Between work, school fulltime and a four yr old....it leaves little time to eat sleep and breathe let alone date. If he reschedules he obviously really want to make it work but his schedule has not allowed him to yet. If you think you can handle being third to his work/child try to be patient. Sounds like he just has a lot on his plate. Busy people are lonely too! Best of luck, girlflowerforyou

I think you have it exactly....two jobs & a child to take care of means little time for dating....things do come up, but if scheduling is his issue you might want to discuss that with him....good luck....

FearandLoathing's photo
Sat 07/12/08 09:46 AM
Ask him.

baroosie's photo
Sat 07/12/08 10:10 AM
He either says "Yes" too readily or he has something up his sleeve...

s1owhand's photo
Sat 07/12/08 10:18 AM
this is surely a problem of some sort. i would never ever
have to reschedule so often if it was someone i truly
cared strongly about. i would discuss the scheduling
difficulties *before* making plans with them but just my
approach to dating.

flowerforyou i hope things improve for you flowerforyou

HeSearches's photo
Sun 07/13/08 11:50 PM
I'm betting that he's married or has another girlfriend. He's really Just Not That Into You for some reason. Otherwise why would he do this?

EtherealEmbers's photo
Sun 07/13/08 11:55 PM

I'm betting that he's married or has another girlfriend. He's really Just Not That Into You for some reason. Otherwise why would he do this?


That's what it sounds like to me...
sounds like he has you on the back burner in case nothing better comes up...

Have you actually gone out with him yet?

no photo
Mon 07/14/08 12:41 AM
Ya youre not number 1 on his priority list!!! NEXXXXXXXXXXXXT!!!bigsmile

Sluggo's photo
Mon 07/14/08 01:16 AM

Ya youre not number 1 on his priority list!!! NEXXXXXXXXXXXXT!!!bigsmile


No Sh*t...He's got Kids, of course she's not #1 on the priority list....lol


If you've been single a while, sometimes it becomes difficult to schedule things and he might really be forgetting about things that he really did have scheduled before he made the call. If he didn't care about you he probably would have stood you up on at least one of those occasions.

Next time he asks you out, just ask him to make sure his schedule is clear before he sets a time (it will make him more attentive to his schedule and you) :wink:

chriswantstocuddle's photo
Mon 07/14/08 09:50 AM

Ok I have a question and this is not to dog on the men this is what is happening to me. Maybe you men can help me try to figure out what is going on??
I am dating this guy who seems to be very nice BUT we make plans and few hours later he might call me and say something came up. Now he does reschedule every time but this has happened 3 times in the last week. So tell me what you are thinking about this!!
He does work a full time job and then he also has a part time job. Plus he spends time with his son...I know he is busy BUT isn't it kind of strange to make plans at 4 and then call at 7 and say something has came up?


i think it may be a kid issue you just need to give him some leeway its most likely just that he is busy but you should ask him anyway

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