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Topic: Finding things to talk about: Why is it so hard??
jw2bmamylee's photo
Mon 10/20/08 03:18 PM
I've been in contact with this girl from on here, and I told her already that I'm shy and at time i just don't know what to talk about. Apparently she said it's not working for her or for me, but she seems really cool.

Why is it so hard to find something to talk about? Any suggestions on how to keep a conversation going?

looking4u52's photo
Mon 10/20/08 03:20 PM
Ask the person what they are interested in and do some research in that area.

no photo
Mon 10/20/08 03:22 PM
It helps if you have things in common, same movies, music, food, etc. Maybe you're both in school? Both hate rain? I don't know, it just helps if you have common ground. If you're too different from someone, it does make the conversation difficult. I had to stop talking to a guy (not from this site) because he was boring. All he did was criticize his family and agree with everything I said. Which means he was stupid and boring. Anyway, good luck to you, if she's not the one, hopefully you can find someone else. Cheers.flowerforyou

no photo
Mon 10/20/08 03:34 PM
I feel it has everything to do with comfort. I just met a guy on here not long ago. We took a weekend trip together, driving a few hundred miles on our first meet, and we never stopped talking the whole trip. It was as if we have always known each other.

lilith401's photo
Mon 10/20/08 03:40 PM
Stop being scared to speak your mind. The worst thing that can happen is that she responds....

no photo
Mon 10/20/08 03:45 PM
I rarely find it difficult to carry on a conversation with anyone. (When in doubt, fall back on Rule #117 -- "Everybody's favorite topic of conversation is themselves." You can learn a lot about someone just by asking about their family, history, places they've lived, activities, etc.) You have to be a good and effective listener to really make it work, though.

It's true that there are some people who simply aren't equipped to have a conversation. There's not much you can do about that, other than to try someone else. Trying to pull information out of a dullard is slightly less enjoyable than trying to make love to a barracuda.






scottious's photo
Mon 10/20/08 04:17 PM
The BEST thing to do is talk about religion, politics, and sex. Everybody likes talking about that.

Okay, bad joke, I know. I find that just talking about things that have happened to you recently are interesting to talk about. These things may seem boring to you but they'll be new to someone else.

cdick's photo
Mon 10/20/08 04:38 PM
conversation shouldnt be hard. Whats the deal with women who expect us guys to ask all the questions, its like they are scared to speak, or just dont want to talk, its rather annoying and its a trend i notice more and more.

KingofRock's photo
Mon 10/20/08 04:44 PM
Politics and religion are guaranteed dealbreakers.
Nothing gets people more riled up than those 2 subjects.


hellkitten54's photo
Mon 10/20/08 04:46 PM
Being shy has nothing to do with not having anything to talk about. Maybe you should get out of the house and gain some confidence in yourself.

no photo
Mon 10/20/08 04:49 PM
Did you read her profile(I mean really read it,analyze it,learn it,live it)That's what she wants to talk about.Tell her what you like to do.You know,hobbies,movies,sites in your town.Be creative,funny,and LISTEN(read) to what she's telling you.....I think thats about it...Hope I helped a little.....Franksmokin smokin

Plainome's photo
Mon 10/20/08 04:49 PM

I rarely find it difficult to carry on a conversation with anyone. (When in doubt, fall back on Rule #117 -- "Everybody's favorite topic of conversation is themselves." You can learn a lot about someone just by asking about their family, history, places they've lived, activities, etc.) You have to be a good and effective listener to really make it work, though.

It's true that there are some people who simply aren't equipped to have a conversation. There's not much you can do about that, other than to try someone else. Trying to pull information out of a dullard is slightly less enjoyable than trying to make love to a barracuda.



I see your point about people liking to talk about themselves............but, that isn't always the case. I have had guys write, and they ask me about the same things you listed.........and it more so gets on my nerves. I want a conversation, not 20 questions. Rather than asking a question, offer something about yourself, which in turn will hopefully bring something out of them. This only works when you have something in common, or when the person is open to sharing that they may not agree with you. If you don't agree, let it be know.......respectably.

In order to communicate with most women, you have to share yourself. If you're just talking/writing about the weather and what you did that day.......it can get boring after a while.

It never fails, when you talk about stuff that interests you, that you will find out quickly if it is going to work. Either you will find that you have things in common, or you will realize that you don't, which means it is time to move on.

If you run out of things to talk about after a few weeks, it isn't likely that you will have enough in common to share a life together.

If it is just that you feel you can't talk, that is a matter of practice....

no photo
Mon 10/20/08 04:59 PM
Plan ahead lol





Take an hour to write down all the question you have on your mind right now that you'll most likely forget when the pressure is on.


memorize them


profit.

no photo
Mon 10/20/08 06:23 PM
sometimes silence is ok...Im not one for idle conversation..I dont ALWAYS have to talk about something, just being with someone is ok...

if you are like that, dont feel bad about it...

no photo
Mon 10/20/08 06:29 PM
Conversation is a two way street. Awkward silence generally means the two respective parties trying to communicate have little in common. Loosen up and go with the flow. Relax and let your true self shine. Nobody wants to talk to a wall. Open up and share what's really going on behind that facade and you'll go far.

Zapchaser's photo
Mon 10/20/08 07:03 PM
If all else fails, bring up the fact that you have a really large penis. Always works for me. laugh :wink:

usernamefayou's photo
Mon 10/20/08 10:19 PM
Smoke some chit.

jw2bmamylee's photo
Tue 10/21/08 03:29 AM

It helps if you have things in common, same movies, music, food, etc. Maybe you're both in school? Both hate rain? I don't know, it just helps if you have common ground. If you're too different from someone, it does make the conversation difficult. I had to stop talking to a guy (not from this site) because he was boring. All he did was criticize his family and agree with everything I said. Which means he was stupid and boring. Anyway, good luck to you, if she's not the one, hopefully you can find someone else. Cheers.flowerforyou


funny thing is we got quite a bit in common. one issue is she can barely hear me (stupid phone!), and another issue i find with people is that their "true colors" don't show until after a little while of talking. She seemed really cool at first, but after a while it just seemed she was a bit more...moody i guess you can say. not sure what to make of it.

jw2bmamylee's photo
Tue 10/21/08 03:31 AM

Conversation is a two way street. Awkward silence generally means the two respective parties trying to communicate have little in common. Loosen up and go with the flow. Relax and let your true self shine. Nobody wants to talk to a wall. Open up and share what's really going on behind that facade and you'll go far.


i always be myself =], i'm shy, but i warm up quickly depending who you are.

I always try to make a laugh, as it says in my profile, but it just doesn't seem that humor enlightens her =\, idk i could be wrong i did just start talking to her.

And to HellKitten: I have a lot more confidence than what i use to have, trust me!! =]. I'm just inexperienced when it comes to talking to girls that i may possibly like, i guess, lol.

Anyawys, i keep my options open, yuh know? If one doesn't work out, there's more fish in that invisible tank i got next to that nice stack of $100 dollar bills =P

no photo
Sat 10/25/08 02:27 PM


It helps if you have things in common, same movies, music, food, etc. Maybe you're both in school? Both hate rain? I don't know, it just helps if you have common ground. If you're too different from someone, it does make the conversation difficult. I had to stop talking to a guy (not from this site) because he was boring. All he did was criticize his family and agree with everything I said. Which means he was stupid and boring. Anyway, good luck to you, if she's not the one, hopefully you can find someone else. Cheers.flowerforyou


funny thing is we got quite a bit in common. one issue is she can barely hear me (stupid phone!), and another issue i find with people is that their "true colors" don't show until after a little while of talking. She seemed really cool at first, but after a while it just seemed she was a bit more...moody i guess you can say. not sure what to make of it.


Ugh about her being moody. I don't do well with people like that, you never know how to deal with them. Well, like you said, just keep your options open, nothing wrong with just being friends. :)

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