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Topic: H~~~~~E~~~L~~~~~~~P~~~
tantalizingtulip's photo
Fri 04/13/07 05:32 AM
My daughter is such a slob I do not know how to help her anymore.

She needs help with this problem, she is going to be on her own soon.


She is great in most aspects of life..

But I am concerned , her mind is so busy,

I really believe she doesn't see the chaios (sp).

Any suggestions ?

ie This is not about squabbles between us...

it is how can I help her..

For college and adulthood......


It's really bad I mean really bad!frown

adj4u's photo
Fri 04/13/07 05:39 AM
if it is not a health issue

then make her confine it to her room

and when she cant find something

she deems important she will clean it

:wink: :wink: :wink:

no photo
Fri 04/13/07 05:48 AM
:wink: Hi tantal, im in the same boat with my 11 yr old son..the
biggest slob ever known to man..laugh have to keep affer him
constatnly..he knows if he doesnt, he stays in his room, no friends, no
computer, no phone..but its a constant effort to get him to do
it..noway

adj4u's photo
Fri 04/13/07 05:57 AM
ya just need to hide something important to them

and when they ask

were is

say clean yer room i couldn't find anything in that mess neither

daniel48706's photo
Fri 04/13/07 06:17 AM
Sorry adj cant agree with you on that one. I dotn believe in
intentionally lying about anything as all it does is teach them it is ok
to lie.
I do however agree with making them keep all clutter to their room as
long as it is not a health issue adn eventually whent hey cant find it
on their own they willpick up (hopefully)

adj4u's photo
Fri 04/13/07 06:27 AM
did not condone a lie

just a manuever

i did not say to say i don't know

i said i could not find anything in that mess

clean and you may find it

i do not condone lieing

not kwite the same thing

it is a parents job to raise child
in the way they shall go

and when they get older
they will not part from it

if it takes bn a little sneaky to get
them raised right go for it

what do you tell a 5 year old
when they ask were babies come from
do you gointo full details of the situaton
or are ya a little sneaky about it

just a thought

but hey what do i know

no photo
Fri 04/13/07 06:31 AM
Sounds pretty dishonest to me.

adj4u's photo
Fri 04/13/07 06:36 AM
well i am ready for an explanation of why

you think so

and how you would handle such situation listed above

easy to critisize without a reason as to why

Barbiesbigsister's photo
Fri 04/13/07 07:09 AM
BIG FUZZY WELCOME HUG Prettylilsister!!! Thats great you found
us!!!!!flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou
Recently i was "court ordered" to "attend a parenting project" which is
for troubled teens.noway noway noway Ya reckon 8yr olds fit that
profile?! ROTFLMAO!!laugh laugh (senile hateful ol judge who hated
single moms) sure dont miss him after his RETIREMENT!!! HAHAHA!!!
But anywho in this class I am LEARNING...rolling my eyes....that "you
will never argue with your child again if you follow this
course".....OH??....this is a daily event with my lil pride and
JOY!grumble grumble grumble laugh
As they CLAIM...sit her down....be NONconfrontational, remain
CALM...LMAO...and explain why you are upset and the reason you are. Now
there ya go! Can you believe that rubbish?!bigsmile

adj4u's photo
Fri 04/13/07 07:12 AM
tea and when they go do a crime it is the parents fault

what a load of crap

tantalizingtulip's photo
Fri 04/13/07 07:40 AM
it's not that easy everyone she is 16.

I have no emotional support from her dad,
although we are friends.

she is 5'9 i am 5'7


She just phttttttttt's anything I say.

I take from her and all that..


She is all of a sudden a grown up in her eyes

we get close to physical struggles..


And the guilt and overwhelming feeling that goes with that
is more than I can bare sometimes

I have threatened her with living with her dad.

I just want to help her in a possitive loving way..



My nagging years are over.

Although I do .....It is not working .


And adj I have done some of what you suggest and it works for a
bit......





ugh I don't know...it's gross though...


I do all the house work that was my major mistake and it is to late now.

to tell her to to do the dishes etc...

she is involved in so many academics......

I just tell myself 2 more years........thank God.....ugh

tantalizingtulip's photo
Fri 04/13/07 07:43 AM
Ps just got her drivers licience aweek ago that is scaring me to death
she is so not ready to be on the road and her dad disagrees..... So
that's another huge problem


when parents don't work as a team it makes things so much
worse........HELP

I just wan't to run away...

I raised a son who is 26 now! And it was not this tough..

I get really depressed from this sometimes.

oldsage's photo
Fri 04/13/07 07:45 AM
To me prob. is "nagging". Speak once/twice, don't speak after that, do.
Clothes on floor, put in garbage bag in closet, when out of clothes ,
they can do laundry. Take away priv.
Friend wrote a contract w/twin girls. Rules & consequences all on paper,
all agreed to, made her life easier. Twins 13.

adj4u's photo
Fri 04/13/07 08:04 AM
well kim i hope you make her father
sign for the drivers liscence

and put her on his insurance

or she would do without if she
does not listen

simple as that

if it doesn't get picked up throw it in the trash

to much to long

Native_Grl39's photo
Fri 04/13/07 08:12 AM
Well I would use the car as an incentive...If she is old enough to
drive...She is old enough to pick up after herself....Otherwise if she
can't then I guess she isn't mature enough to drive either!!!!!!!!

Don't let her drive until she starts to pull her weight at
home...license or no license!!!!!!!!




drinker noway flowerforyou

tantalizingtulip's photo
Fri 04/13/07 08:19 AM
yes true adj native and the rest .....her licience is her own ..

she is getting her own car next week from her dad....


it just seems like frickin vicious cycle....ugh.

AdventureBegins's photo
Fri 04/13/07 08:20 AM
My daughter recently got the driving permit thing.

Wonderful motivator.

I had a simular problem with the mess and not wanting to pick up.

I suspended her driving priviledges. She needs, by state law, so many
hours of driving before they will issue a real license. The permit only
allows her to drive when a licensed Parent is in the car.

Pissed her off a lot but her room is clean my dishes are done.

I do just about everything that needs to be done around the house
(cooking, cleaning, etc) so when she started arguing about the dishes I
just started adding a new chore everytime she opened her mouth.

Was like an armed camp around here for a few days but she calmed down.

Native_Grl39's photo
Fri 04/13/07 08:26 AM
Good one Ab...Teens have to be reminded who the parent is or they will
run you over in a second...I know I have 15 year old twins...Good kids
but they try to run me some days too...It's all part of testing to see
what they can get away with!!!!! They need to know the
boundaries!!!!!!!!!!


Even if her dad is giving her the car...You are the parent...Take the
keys until things improve!!!!!!!!



flowerforyou noway

oldsage's photo
Fri 04/13/07 08:41 AM
Legal problem, child lives w/you, car in whose name.
Who is LEGALLY responsable for accident.
You cannot insure something not in your name.
Talk to attorney about YOUR legal rights.

tantalizingtulip's photo
Fri 04/13/07 09:18 AM
she gets all that from her day oldsage.

she is a great young woman....just not with me.


everyone loves her..

So...ya Iknow kids are always better when the parents aren't around.

thanks adventure..but the liceince thing is over came in the mail
yesterday she is an official legal beagle ugh..

frightening thought.

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