Topic: Would you go out with an alcoholic?
JOY_OUS's photo
Mon 12/22/08 09:12 PM


I would not start a relationship nor could I date a practicing alcoholic, too many mood swings and unpredictable. Now if the person I dated turned into one it would be my duty to try to help as much as I could, but could not continue the relationship if they continued to drink

brokenheart :cry:

what is that suppose to mean?

Totage's photo
Mon 12/22/08 09:16 PM

drinks Would you go out with an alcoholic?drinksWhy or why not?drinks


Yeah, because I'd be drinking with 'em drinker drinks

Redshirt's photo
Mon 12/22/08 09:17 PM
Have dated a recovered member of AA and NA. She is still one of my closes friends.

no photo
Mon 12/22/08 09:18 PM
Edited by angelindarkness on Mon 12/22/08 09:19 PM



Now if the person I dated "turned into one" it would be my duty to try to help as much as I could, but could not continue the relationship if they continued to drink

brokenheart :cry:

what is that suppose to mean?

That I can empathise with you.

hellkitten54's photo
Mon 12/22/08 09:19 PM
Krupa, I agree with you. When I was a kid, they tried to tell me my daddy was an alcoholic and it made me so damn angry. As I grew up, I realized that my dad liked to have a drink or two when he got off work. He never got drunk or out of control with me and my brother. But everyone else thought that because he did that, he was. But for someone to try to say that about him pissed me off. Anyhow, people CHOOSE to drink and do drugs. I drink occasionally but I have the control to not over induldge.


JOY_OUS's photo
Mon 12/22/08 09:21 PM




Now if the person I dated "turned into one" it would be my duty to try to help as much as I could, but could not continue the relationship if they continued to drink

brokenheart :cry:

what is that suppose to mean?

That I can empathise with you.
Oh okay

no photo
Mon 12/22/08 09:23 PM

Krupa, I agree with you. When I was a kid, they tried to tell me my daddy was an alcoholic and it made me so damn angry. As I grew up, I realized that my dad liked to have a drink or two when he got off work. He never got drunk or out of control with me and my brother. But everyone else thought that because he did that, he was. But for someone to try to say that about him pissed me off. Anyhow, people CHOOSE to drink and do drugs. I drink occasionally but I have the control to not over induldge.



Sure, there's a difference. Some people can do it in moderation or even abuse it and never become dependent. Studies have even been done with siblings in the same family. No one really knows 100% why one becomes dependent and the other doesn't. Luck of the draw. 53% of all adults in the USA say that they have a family member with a drinking problem.

lilwick86's photo
Mon 12/22/08 09:25 PM

drinks Would you go out with an alcoholic?drinksWhy or why not?drinks

NO

lilwick86's photo
Mon 12/22/08 09:26 PM


drinks Would you go out with an alcoholic?drinksWhy or why not?drinks

NO

Because too many people in my family used to be alcoholics. And I don't drink because it either.

hellkitten54's photo
Mon 12/22/08 09:33 PM


Krupa, I agree with you. When I was a kid, they tried to tell me my daddy was an alcoholic and it made me so damn angry. As I grew up, I realized that my dad liked to have a drink or two when he got off work. He never got drunk or out of control with me and my brother. But everyone else thought that because he did that, he was. But for someone to try to say that about him pissed me off. Anyhow, people CHOOSE to drink and do drugs. I drink occasionally but I have the control to not over induldge.



Sure, there's a difference. Some people can do it in moderation or even abuse it and never become dependent. Studies have even been done with siblings in the same family. No one really knows 100% why one becomes dependent and the other doesn't. Luck of the draw. 53% of all adults in the USA say that they have a family member with a drinking problem.


But my problem with this is, ok so EVERYONE and their mother knows that by drinking or doing drugs one can become addicted. So with that said, if someone CHOOSES to do those things, I have no sympathy towards them or the actions they choose in life. I mean, that is what life is about right? I dont feel sorry for someone who is a 'recovering' anything. Because you had a choice and you chose to do something that could bring harm upon yourself.

I don't mean to offend anyone in this thread, because I do not have any addictions other than coffee and smokes. But I choose to smoke, so if I get cancer. I don't expect anyone to feel sorry for me and pretend like they care when I go to some support group for cancer patient because it is my own fault.

Ok, I'm out of this thread. I have ill feelings about this topic. Sorry.

keepthehope's photo
Mon 12/22/08 09:34 PM
If I knew about it before hand no. If I found out after, they would have to go.

no photo
Mon 12/22/08 09:42 PM

But my problem with this is, ok so EVERYONE and their mother knows that by drinking or doing drugs one can become addicted. So with that said, if someone CHOOSES to do those things, I have no sympathy towards them or the actions they choose in life. I mean, that is what life is about right? I dont feel sorry for someone who is a 'recovering' anything. Because you had a choice and you chose to do something that could bring harm upon yourself.

Ah, but you drink and if we respectfully take your word for it, we understand that you did not become addicted to it. You chose, but you escaped addiction. There are some that drink as much or far less than you and become addicted. See, that is the crux of it. Many factors go into it and no one knows for sure why one can and one cannot. Just luck of the draw, it seems.

As for smoking....do you honestly "choose" it, knowing that it will most likely cause cancer? If so, why would you choose to get Cancer? See my point. I do not believe you choose Cancer over health and life.

livelife68's photo
Mon 12/22/08 09:48 PM

High Five Live Life! The man understands!

Calm down Michigan man....I wasn't blaming you for anything.

I was simply referring to my own personal past experience with people who blamed a lack of self control but called it a disease.

Encephilitis is a disease.
Gonorreah..is a disease.
Leprosy is a disease.

Not being in control of one's self ain't.


I don't agree with everything Krupa. Alcoholism is a disease. I am a recovering alcoholic last drink (7/2/1999). I don't blame the disease for my actions nor do I use alcoholism as an excuse for my poor choices.

DragonFlyTat's photo
Mon 12/22/08 09:50 PM
No way in Hell! I don't need anymore complications in my life.

Winx's photo
Mon 12/22/08 09:58 PM


High Five Live Life! The man understands!

Calm down Michigan man....I wasn't blaming you for anything.

I was simply referring to my own personal past experience with people who blamed a lack of self control but called it a disease.

Encephilitis is a disease.
Gonorreah..is a disease.
Leprosy is a disease.

Not being in control of one's self ain't.


I don't agree with everything Krupa. Alcoholism is a disease. I am a recovering alcoholic last drink (7/2/1999). I don't blame the disease for my actions nor do I use alcoholism as an excuse for my poor choices.


I don't agree with Krupa either. It's listed in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) as a disease.

Winx's photo
Mon 12/22/08 09:59 PM
Edited by Winx on Mon 12/22/08 10:00 PM

yes as long as he realizes he has a problem


Realizing that he has a problem doesn't mean that he's going to quit. It could even make it worse.



no photo
Mon 12/22/08 10:04 PM



High Five Live Life! The man understands!

Calm down Michigan man....I wasn't blaming you for anything.

I was simply referring to my own personal past experience with people who blamed a lack of self control but called it a disease.

Encephilitis is a disease.
Gonorreah..is a disease.
Leprosy is a disease.

Not being in control of one's self ain't.


I don't agree with everything Krupa. Alcoholism is a disease. I am a recovering alcoholic last drink (7/2/1999). I don't blame the disease for my actions nor do I use alcoholism as an excuse for my poor choices.


I don't agree with Krupa either. It's listed in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) as a disease.

I have no real opinion on this yet, but not all substance abuse counselors look at it solely from the "medical model" these days, though. Some thinking has changed in recovery.

no photo
Mon 12/22/08 10:05 PM


yes as long as he realizes he has a problem


Realizing that he has a problem doesn't mean that he's going to quit. It could even make it worse.


Sadly, I agree.

Winx's photo
Mon 12/22/08 10:09 PM




High Five Live Life! The man understands!

Calm down Michigan man....I wasn't blaming you for anything.

I was simply referring to my own personal past experience with people who blamed a lack of self control but called it a disease.

Encephilitis is a disease.
Gonorreah..is a disease.
Leprosy is a disease.

Not being in control of one's self ain't.


I don't agree with everything Krupa. Alcoholism is a disease. I am a recovering alcoholic last drink (7/2/1999). I don't blame the disease for my actions nor do I use alcoholism as an excuse for my poor choices.


I don't agree with Krupa either. It's listed in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) as a disease.

I have no real opinion on this yet, but not all substance abuse counselors look at it solely from the "medical model" these days, though. Some thinking has changed in recovery.


There have always been different models, Angel. flowerforyou I have 15 yr. old psych. textbooks that talk about it. I think most of them are about the different ways to treat an addict. One rehab might have cognitive therapy and one rehab might use the 12-step program.

Redshirt's photo
Mon 12/22/08 10:25 PM





High Five Live Life! The man understands!

Calm down Michigan man....I wasn't blaming you for anything.

I was simply referring to my own personal past experience with people who blamed a lack of self control but called it a disease.

Encephilitis is a disease.
Gonorreah..is a disease.
Leprosy is a disease.

Not being in control of one's self ain't.


I don't agree with everything Krupa. Alcoholism is a disease. I am a recovering alcoholic last drink (7/2/1999). I don't blame the disease for my actions nor do I use alcoholism as an excuse for my poor choices.


I don't agree with Krupa either. It's listed in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) as a disease.

I have no real opinion on this yet, but not all substance abuse counselors look at it solely from the "medical model" these days, though. Some thinking has changed in recovery.


There have always been different models, Angel. flowerforyou I have 15 yr. old psych. textbooks that talk about it. I think most of them are about the different ways to treat an addict. One rehab might have cognitive therapy and one rehab might use the 12-step program.


No matter which form of treatment is used...the individual has to admit to there is a problem and be willing to work on resolving it.

My friend who has been clean for around 20 years ends every night with a prayer of gratitude and begins everyday with the Serenity Prayer.