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Topic: A Problem of Attraction?
harrydrew's photo
Sun 07/19/09 04:49 PM
I have a question about attraction. If a guy is married but he finds himself intensely attracted to other women, what does this mean? Here is the break down. A friend of mine married this girl back in 2007, at the time he married her he did it genuinely. She is cute. But he finds other women more attractive than her at times. Some of these women ignite intense passion in him. Does this mean there is something wrong with his marriage, or is this simply how it is: that men just have to deal with this challenge? If he were to leave his wife for another woman due to his intense attraction for that other woman, would that be just?

grneyedldy1967's photo
Sun 07/19/09 04:55 PM
All I can say is I feel sorry for his wife. I know alot of men find other women attractive but if they truly love the one they are with then they should not even be tempted to cheat/leave. If he is tempted then I would say he truly does not love his wife and should do her a favor and divorce her so she can find a real man that can truly love her and be faithful to her!

chickayoshi's photo
Sun 07/19/09 04:57 PM

All I can say is I feel sorry for his wife. I know alot of men find other women attractive but if they truly love the one they are with then they should not even be tempted to cheat/leave. If he is tempted then I would say he truly does not love his wife and should do her a favor and divorce her so she can find a real man that can truly love her and be faithful to her!


Amen. I second that.

no photo
Sun 07/19/09 04:59 PM
Gosh, when I got married, I loved my husband deeply, but he just wasn't that attractive to me. He simply was NOT a good looking man. I lusted for other men all the time, had sex fantasies ALL THE TIME. But, not having an attractive husband did not ruin the marriage. If this guy cheats or goes out of his way to flirt or see attractive women, then I'd say he needs to do his wife a favor and back out now.

motowndowntown's photo
Sun 07/19/09 05:00 PM
Finding them attractive is one thing. Doing something about it is a whole different can of worms.

silly's photo
Sun 07/19/09 05:01 PM


All I can say is I feel sorry for his wife. I know alot of men find other women attractive but if they truly love the one they are with then they should not even be tempted to cheat/leave. If he is tempted then I would say he truly does not love his wife and should do her a favor and divorce her so she can find a real man that can truly love her and be faithful to her!


Amen. I second that. I third that.

Roco's photo
Sun 07/19/09 05:12 PM
Edited by Roco on Sun 07/19/09 05:13 PM
yah, thought vs. action...this is what separates the mature from the immature..

roko

no photo
Sun 07/19/09 05:15 PM
I agree with motown, thinking is one thing, doing is entirely another. Everyone looks, it is a human condition. Taking action, you must suffer the consequences.

no photo
Sun 07/19/09 05:17 PM

I have a question about attraction. If a guy is married but he finds himself intensely attracted to other women, what does this mean? Here is the break down. A friend of mine married this girl back in 2007, at the time he married her he did it genuinely. She is cute. But he finds other women more attractive than her at times. Some of these women ignite intense passion in him. Does this mean there is something wrong with his marriage, or is this simply how it is: that men just have to deal with this challenge? If he were to leave his wife for another woman due to his intense attraction for that other woman, would that be just?

Everyone still has eyes when they are in a relationship. People are different though. For me i don't really pay any attention to other guys looks if i am in love. It's just how it is. But i can't expect my significant other to be the same way. As long as it isn't going any further then thinking someone is good looking then it isn't a big deal. But when it crosses that line it is. In a nut shell we don't stop breathing just b/c we are in love. Some people have to deal with temptation a little more than others.

Rasmus916's photo
Sun 07/19/09 05:17 PM
I will tell you the same thing a preacher told me back when I used to live in texas amigo.

There is nothing wrong with admiring the natural beauty god gave a woman, its the SECOND look that's a sin.

lonetar25's photo
Sun 07/19/09 05:20 PM
wow, a thread with very mature answers

i`ll leave before i ruin it

no photo
Sun 07/19/09 05:20 PM
I remember reading Dear Abby as a kid, she would say,
"When a man is through looking, he's through"

Meaning when the time comes in mans life he no longer wants to look at good looking women, he's pretty much done with women all together.

Even Jimmy Carter admitted to "lusting after other women",
but he did not act upon it.

Rasmus916's photo
Sun 07/19/09 05:21 PM

wow, a thread with very mature answers

i`ll leave before i ruin it


PAH! put your two cents in amigo, I was going to put one serious one and then one more light hearted one in!

HasidicEnforcer's photo
Sun 07/19/09 05:22 PM

Finding them attractive is one thing. Doing something about it is a whole different can of worms.


:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

misstina2's photo
Sun 07/19/09 05:24 PM
flowerforyou I wouldn't want to be married to a man that wasn't attracted to meflowerforyou

no photo
Sun 07/19/09 05:29 PM

flowerforyou I wouldn't want to be married to a man that wasn't attracted to meflowerforyou

Doesn't mean they cant see someone else to be attractive. Its just a visualflowerforyou

papersmile's photo
Sun 07/19/09 05:33 PM


flowerforyou I wouldn't want to be married to a man that wasn't attracted to meflowerforyou

Doesn't mean they cant see someone else to be attractive. Its just a visualflowerforyou


perhaps, but i bet 9 times out of 10, that same man is gonna try to change his woman into what he desires, rather than enjoy her for what she is. and THAT will probably be the reason for the demise of the relationship.

personally, i'd find it quite insulting if a guy i was dating made it clear to me that he found other sorts of women attactive.

misstina2's photo
Sun 07/19/09 05:33 PM


flowerforyou I wouldn't want to be married to a man that wasn't attracted to meflowerforyou

Doesn't mean they cant see someone else to be attractive. Its just a visualflowerforyou
flowerforyou it might ok for some people flowerforyou if i felt like someone i was involved lost interest that would make me lose interest myselfflowerforyou

no photo
Sun 07/19/09 05:35 PM



flowerforyou I wouldn't want to be married to a man that wasn't attracted to meflowerforyou

Doesn't mean they cant see someone else to be attractive. Its just a visualflowerforyou


perhaps, but i bet 9 times out of 10, that same man is gonna try to change his woman into what he desires, rather than enjoy her for what she is. and THAT will probably be the reason for the demise of the relationship.

personally, i'd find it quite insulting if a guy i was dating made it clear to me that he found other sorts of women attactive.

I just think its life. I'm not saying they have to say it outloud everytime they see a pretty woman but heck i know if i walk past someone and they're pretty, so i can't expect my bf to have no more instincts just b/c we are together.

papersmile's photo
Sun 07/19/09 05:39 PM
Edited by papersmile on Sun 07/19/09 05:39 PM
finding a person attractive is a far cry from 'igniting intense passion'.

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