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Topic: What does it meanif the woman insists on paying her part of
time_for_a_change's photo
Sat 12/19/09 07:29 AM
So I'm dating this Wonderful Woman I met on her. I Payed on the first date there was not really an issue her just a "you dont have to pay for it all." Now on our second date She literally gave me 10 bux after i said It was no issue I have it covered. Now I have talked to her about me not having car and needing a solid job before, but is that the reason or is it something else?

Let me know what you guys think.

PATSFAN's photo
Sat 12/19/09 07:32 AM
I went out on a date where the woman insisted that she pays, I had the hardest time with that. I was out of work & it didn't bother her, but it felt weird.

time_for_a_change's photo
Sat 12/19/09 07:34 AM
how did it work out was she Still into you?

I mean I just dont wanna be in a just friends situation :/ so many of those:(

PATSFAN's photo
Sat 12/19/09 07:37 AM

how did it work out was she Still into you?

I mean I just dont wanna be in a just friends situation :/ so many of those:(



Well we did wind up going on another date & I spent the weekend at her place but she wasn't for me, nice girl we were just two different people, I still chat with her from time to time. Good luck, all I can find now is "hook ups" & that may be awesome for some guys but not for me.

tanyaann's photo
Sat 12/19/09 07:38 AM
Well there are a number of different reasons that women pay...

However, since you mentioned that you have some finacial constraits/issues, and she is still going out with you, ... she obviously likes you and doesn't want to put more strain on you. Take it as a good thing.... take the $10 put it towards your car or whatever you are saving for!

Ruth34611's photo
Sat 12/19/09 07:43 AM

Well there are a number of different reasons that women pay...

However, since you mentioned that you have some finacial constraits/issues, and she is still going out with you, ... she obviously likes you and doesn't want to put more strain on you. Take it as a good thing.... take the $10 put it towards your car or whatever you are saving for!


Tanya is one of the smartest chicks I know. drinker

tanyaann's photo
Sat 12/19/09 07:44 AM


Well there are a number of different reasons that women pay...

However, since you mentioned that you have some finacial constraits/issues, and she is still going out with you, ... she obviously likes you and doesn't want to put more strain on you. Take it as a good thing.... take the $10 put it towards your car or whatever you are saving for!


Tanya is one of the smartest chicks I know. drinker



bigsmile Thank you, ruth blushing

time_for_a_change's photo
Sat 12/19/09 07:53 AM
Edited by time_for_a_change on Sat 12/19/09 07:53 AM
Thx all And I'm done with the casual encounter thing too. Sex just felt so empty after awhile. I never thought sex could be depressing:/
I hope it works out. I just hate dating. I just wanna hold her in my arms. I hate having to play the I dont care too much thing so I don't scare her away.

I just wish I could express my true feelings without being subject to being classified clingy "stupid child abandonment trauma :("

Ruth34611's photo
Sat 12/19/09 07:55 AM

Thx all And I'm done with the casual encounter thing too. Sex just felt so empty after awhile. I never thought sex could be depressing:/
I hope it works out. I just hate dating. I just wanna hold her in my arms. I hate having to play the I dont care too much thing so I don't scare her away.

I just wish I could express my true feelings without being subject to being classified clingy "stupid child abandonment trauma :("


flowerforyou good luck. If it's meant to be it will all work out. flowerforyou

time_for_a_change's photo
Sat 12/19/09 08:02 AM
I hope it will. I was supposed to eat with her family on christmas but I'm not sure if thats still going to happen or not. Im pessimistic. "I know its not a turn on :("

Quietman_2009's photo
Sat 12/19/09 08:05 AM
sometimes when a woman helps pay for the date she is turning it from a "you and me" thing into a "we" thing

I would think thats not such a bad thing

Ruth34611's photo
Sat 12/19/09 08:06 AM

I hope it will. I was supposed to eat with her family on christmas but I'm not sure if thats still going to happen or not. Im pessimistic. "I know its not a turn on :("


It's VERY hard to find the balance between guarding your hear/jumping in too quickly and being pessimistic. None of us are very good at it.

time_for_a_change's photo
Sat 12/19/09 08:07 AM
Edited by time_for_a_change on Sat 12/19/09 08:07 AM

Quietman
Interesting Take. I like that :)

You made me smile with that comment.

XenomorphEyez's photo
Sat 12/19/09 08:07 AM
I have a feeling this is an older woman since you are only 22. Maybe she understands your situation and knows you are struggling. Try not to interpret things to much. Just enjoy the company you are with.


I just wish I could express my true feelings without being subject to being classified clingy "stupid child abandonment trauma :("


So someone goes dutch and you liken it to "stupid child abandonment trauma"?? Talk about over thinking things! Just take a deep breath and go with the flow. Good luck to you.

time_for_a_change's photo
Sat 12/19/09 08:10 AM
Edited by time_for_a_change on Sat 12/19/09 08:10 AM
no shes 22 as well Ive dated older woman before 34 Yea I was in a cougar relation ship but it was kinda strictly sexual. I'm no longer into Strictly sex. I want a actual romantic relationship "Ive yet to have one"

and about child abandonment trauma i was talking about myself and why im "clingy"

writer_gurl's photo
Sat 12/19/09 08:22 AM


Well there are a number of different reasons that women pay...

However, since you mentioned that you have some finacial constraits/issues, and she is still going out with you, ... she obviously likes you and doesn't want to put more strain on you. Take it as a good thing.... take the $10 put it towards your car or whatever you are saving for!


Tanya is one of the smartest chicks I know. drinker


& one of the sweetestflowerforyou

mssilverfox's photo
Sat 12/19/09 08:34 AM
I have a guy friend and we go out to eat a lot.. sometimes I offer to pay and he lets me.. if he says no I offer to cover the tip.. We're both on retirement so every little bit helps and I don't think less of him if he does let me pay....flowerforyou

papersmile's photo
Sat 12/19/09 08:37 AM
it's the insisting part with which i have a problem. maybe it's a 'beat my chest i can take care of myself' attitude and/or a control issue.

i don't mind offering to chip in and/or to treat, but if the guy wants to pay, i'd much rather just smile, say thanks and be gracious and appreciative about it.

SClady56's photo
Sat 12/19/09 08:43 AM
What is wrong with the woman paying for her half of the bill? When women go out with other women, we split the bill. When men go out with men, they split the bill. If you have specific concerns with this then you should talk to her about it as we don't know what she is thinking.

Personally, when I am not into a man, I insist on paying for my half of the bill and then I don't owe him anything. Paybacks are a *****.

no photo
Sat 12/19/09 09:02 AM

So I'm dating this Wonderful Woman I met on her. I Payed on the first date there was not really an issue her just a "you dont have to pay for it all." Now on our second date She literally gave me 10 bux after i said It was no issue I have it covered. Now I have talked to her about me not having car and needing a solid job before, but is that the reason or is it something else?

Let me know what you guys think.


no matter what the reason a woman pays for a date....you better have a set of steel ones because you've just been kicked in them

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