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| Topic: anyone advice plz | |
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okay ive been with my bf alittle over ayear now im 19 and he 29 and my family loves him and everyone loves us together. weve always understood each other and never argued or fought. but lately i feel that hes been lying and cheating. its started a few monthes ago when i found a lot of flirty and love messages on his phone. i confronted him, he explained it wont happen again and we moved on ,but recently i found that him and some other girl has been texting flirty and love messages to each other again and i'm kinda sure that its his ex. he doesnt know that i know this. i started to realize the whole time he might been doing this the whole relationship. im realizing alot things at once like hes been living with his kids mother the whole time, he does have a lot of female friends,and so on. my oldest sister was telling something wasnt right about him.and should break it off ... basically im saying he doesnt know that im aware of what hes doing and i need to know should i confront him again and try working things out or just break it off and walk away from this relationship.
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Sounds to me like he has already established a pattern of this behavior, and he probably thinks that he can either hide it from you indefinitely, or that if he does get caught, he can get you to forgive him again.
Obviously, I don't have all the facts in this case, but my best guess is that he has no intentions of stopping his extracurricular activities. So your choice is simply whether or not you can put up with his lying and cheating. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing that he has female friends but the other stuff you mentioned is not conducive to a solid relationship. |
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Sounds to me like he has already established a pattern of this behavior, and he probably thinks that he can either hide it from you indefinitely, or that if he does get caught, he can get you to forgive him again. Obviously, I don't have all the facts in this case, but my best guess is that he has no intentions of stopping his extracurricular activities. So your choice is simply whether or not you can put up with his lying and cheating. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing that he has female friends but the other stuff you mentioned is not conducive to a solid relationship. Well said. 
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Sounds to me like he has already established a pattern of this behavior, and he probably thinks that he can either hide it from you indefinitely, or that if he does get caught, he can get you to forgive him again. Obviously, I don't have all the facts in this case, but my best guess is that he has no intentions of stopping his extracurricular activities. So your choice is simply whether or not you can put up with his lying and cheating. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing that he has female friends but the other stuff you mentioned is not conducive to a solid relationship. Well said. Thank you! This is why I studied psychology for so many years....! |
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Edited by
Cinderella75
on
Fri 01/15/10 08:16 PM
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okay ive been with my bf alittle over ayear now im 19 and he 29 and my family loves him and everyone loves us together. weve always understood each other and never argued or fought. but lately i feel that hes been lying and cheating. its started a few monthes ago when i found a lot of flirty and love messages on his phone. i confronted him, he explained it wont happen again and we moved on ,but recently i found that him and some other girl has been texting flirty and love messages to each other again and i'm kinda sure that its his ex. he doesnt know that i know this. i started to realize the whole time he might been doing this the whole relationship. im realizing alot things at once like hes been living with his kids mother the whole time, he does have a lot of female friends,and so on. my oldest sister was telling something wasnt right about him.and should break it off ... basically im saying he doesnt know that im aware of what hes doing and i need to know should i confront him again and try working things out or just break it off and walk away from this relationship. He's been caught, you confronted him about it, but yet you stayed with him. Was there an ultimatum. If yes, you should stick to your "guns" and follow through. He simply does it cuz he knows he can get away with it. Why choose if I can have all? Thats his mindset. Seems like he is not even trying to hide it. (Deleting his msg from his phone..etc) Which indicates to me that he has no respect for you, and takes you for granted. Sorry to be so harsh, but its the truth. |
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if he does something that both of you agreed shouldn't be done, he will continue to do those things..and you will continue to suffer
roko |
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Albert Einstein once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.
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To have female friends is not bad, the bad thing in your case is that he's flirting with someone else, and if he doesn't flirt with you anymore, then he's just lost interest in you, and looking to spice up his life with someone else. You should try doing the same to him, and see how he reacts (not that you should) or just settle this out and you as a woman, respect yourself and don't let him puppet you around with BS! Take Charge, you know what you want, does he ?
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okay ive been with my bf alittle over ayear now im 19 and he 29 and my family loves him and everyone loves us together. weve always understood each other and never argued or fought. but lately i feel that hes been lying and cheating. its started a few monthes ago when i found a lot of flirty and love messages on his phone. i confronted him, he explained it wont happen again and we moved on ,but recently i found that him and some other girl has been texting flirty and love messages to each other again and i'm kinda sure that its his ex. he doesnt know that i know this. i started to realize the whole time he might been doing this the whole relationship. im realizing alot things at once like hes been living with his kids mother the whole time, he does have a lot of female friends,and so on. my oldest sister was telling something wasnt right about him.and should break it off ... basically im saying he doesnt know that im aware of what hes doing and i need to know should i confront him again and try working things out or just break it off and walk away from this relationship. Your gut is usually right. You did catch him cheating once, but you let him get away with it. What's stopping him from continuing to cheat on you? I'd break it off. You deserve to be treated better than that. 
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okay ive been with my bf alittle over ayear now im 19 and he 29 and my family loves him and everyone loves us together. weve always understood each other and never argued or fought. but lately i feel that hes been lying and cheating. its started a few monthes ago when i found a lot of flirty and love messages on his phone. i confronted him, he explained it wont happen again and we moved on ,but recently i found that him and some other girl has been texting flirty and love messages to each other again and i'm kinda sure that its his ex. he doesnt know that i know this. i started to realize the whole time he might been doing this the whole relationship. im realizing alot things at once like hes been living with his kids mother the whole time, he does have a lot of female friends,and so on. my oldest sister was telling something wasnt right about him.and should break it off ... basically im saying he doesnt know that im aware of what hes doing and i need to know should i confront him again and try working things out or just break it off and walk away from this relationship. No-brainer |
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okay ive been with my bf alittle over ayear now im 19 and he 29 and my family loves him and everyone loves us together. weve always understood each other and never argued or fought. but lately i feel that hes been lying and cheating. its started a few monthes ago when i found a lot of flirty and love messages on his phone. i confronted him, he explained it wont happen again and we moved on ,but recently i found that him and some other girl has been texting flirty and love messages to each other again and i'm kinda sure that its his ex. he doesnt know that i know this. i started to realize the whole time he might been doing this the whole relationship. im realizing alot things at once like hes been living with his kids mother the whole time, he does have a lot of female friends,and so on. my oldest sister was telling something wasnt right about him.and should break it off ... basically im saying he doesnt know that im aware of what hes doing and i need to know should i confront him again and try working things out or just break it off and walk away from this relationship. You are 19, you got plenty of time and adventure ahead of you. If he would be very close to your age, I'd say these are typical games played by most youths, but since he is 29, he is using you as a tool. I said "tool" because I don't want to say anything more harsh on the forum. |
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break it off
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Living with his Baby-Mama???
Too much Drama.!!!! Walk away Renee, don't look back. |
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break it off Break... WHAT off? What if "it" is limp at the moment when she gets enough access to be in a position to break it? have you ever tried to break a wet noodle? or a dishtowel? |
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According to your profile, you've already made up your mind.
All ya' need to do now is, put up some sexy pics and tell more about yourself. |
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You're nineteen and he is twenty-nine? He's playing you like a fish, and he's getting awfully close to cradle robbing.
Do yourself a favor and dump him. |
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Albert Einstein once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.  I know this all too well 
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As,they say, once a cheater always a cheater. And yes some people can do it,feel bad and never do it again. If you are asking, then you already know the right answer but just want someone to validate it for you. Do what you feel is the right thing and stick to it. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
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It's over, I know it will hurt now, but it will hurt more, if you let him keep stringing you along. Break it off now.
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kick his a$$ to the curb
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