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| Topic: Meeting Ritual | |
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I am not sure how this ritual is supposed to work so maybe someone could enlighten me. A man is interested in me, he contacts me. We communicate and I am interested in him too. He says lets meet but keeps canceling the date so I figure he has lost interest and wish him well. Then he contacts me and is even more interested but by then I tell him to take a hike as don't need the games. Now if this was an isolated incident; I wouldn't give it a second thought; however this seems to be the norm. So, is this how this ritual is supposed to go? Are there just a lot of game players? I don't date alot personally so did I miss something? Your opinions would be greatly appreciated.
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Maybe he was busy? I think the trick is to take things with a pinch of salt and try not to take offense... If it keeps happening then at least you have the measure of that person, so you win either way.
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Its only a game if you play it
 Its typical for online dating cheers
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Sounds like he's 'testing' you for some reason known only to him. Tell him you quit taking tests when you graduated. If there's a legit reason for the cancellation, it should be told when he cancels. Anything else is just BS and gameplayin' ... call him on it, and if you aren't satisfied with the answer, walk away. No explanation will be needed - he'll know he's been busted.
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You'll have to decide if you actually want to put up with that. Chances are, he'll be flaky like that after you meet as well. Good luck!
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Edited by
Gossipmpm
on
Thu 04/01/10 11:13 AM
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Oh the games people play...
Every night and everyday.... That's nothing Welcome to Internet love baby!!! 
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I think it is a fairly typical thing with online dating (at least it has been in my experience). Try not to take it personally and just say "Next"!
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There's a Ritual? So thats what I've been doing wrong.
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I think it is a fairly typical thing with online dating (at least it has been in my experience). Try not to take it personally and just say "Next"! What she said. NEXT! If you were important enough to him, he could have found a way to fit you into his "busy schedule." You make the time, not that hard. He effed up, you didn't, navy.
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IMHO: people play the "numbers game" with online "dating/meeting"... I think they click on as many people as possible, email and interact with them - even make phone calls ect... then what happens is they get into the "the next one is better" syndrome... they make plans to meet you on thursday, then someone else they were interacting with says "let's meet on Thursday" and they make the decision who they want to meet, and meet up with that person on Thursday. The second one get's "flaked on".
Of course it's new and they don't know the outcome yet - so they try to keep all of their "little fishies on the hook" until something pans out... IMHO: these are the ones that you want to avoid... I likely did not write that description very well, but you may get the jist of what I am saying... *sigh* therefore it seems it is just a part of the "online thing". Never really worked for me that way... but oh well, I digress... $.02
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IMHO: people play the "numbers game" with online "dating/meeting"... I think they click on as many people as possible, email and interact with them - even make phone calls ect... then what happens is they get into the "the next one is better" syndrome... they make plans to meet you on thursday, then someone else they were interacting with says "let's meet on Thursday" and they make the decision who they want to meet, and meet up with that person on Thursday. The second one get's "flaked on". I never really thought of it that way, but it makes perfect sense!
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Happens to more people than you think. About 98% of us. I honestly think that if there was no internet, we'd get more genuine people wanting to date us. It's their way of hiding behind their computer screen. They expect us to be so niave that we'd believe whatever they say. I take things as they come. You aren't the one abusing their trust or wasting their time. They did it to themselves. Shame on them. They could have had a good thing. Keep your head up, girl :)
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IMHO: people play the "numbers game" with online "dating/meeting"... I think they click on as many people as possible, email and interact with them - even make phone calls ect... then what happens is they get into the "the next one is better" syndrome... they make plans to meet you on thursday, then someone else they were interacting with says "let's meet on Thursday" and they make the decision who they want to meet, and meet up with that person on Thursday. The second one get's "flaked on". Of course it's new and they don't know the outcome yet - so they try to keep all of their "little fishies on the hook" until something pans out... IMHO: these are the ones that you want to avoid... I likely did not write that description very well, but you may get the jist of what I am saying... *sigh* therefore it seems it is just a part of the "online thing". Never really worked for me that way... but oh well, I digress... $.02 Yep, I am thinking you hit the nail on the head that they found someone better and as you say when it doesn't pan out they come running back to me. Ironically that makes me feel better. |
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Happens to more people than you think. About 98% of us. I honestly think that if there was no internet, we'd get more genuine people wanting to date us. It's their way of hiding behind their computer screen. They expect us to be so niave that we'd believe whatever they say. I take things as they come. You aren't the one abusing their trust or wasting their time. They did it to themselves. Shame on them. They could have had a good thing. Keep your head up, girl :) Thanks for the encouragement. |
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Sounds like he's 'testing' you for some reason known only to him. Tell him you quit taking tests when you graduated. If there's a legit reason for the cancellation, it should be told when he cancels. Anything else is just BS and gameplayin' ... call him on it, and if you aren't satisfied with the answer, walk away. No explanation will be needed - he'll know he's been busted. HaHa. I will have to remember that one the next time someone tries that crap on me. I did tell a guy that I didn't like being interrogated as he sent me a email asking me a bunch of questions. He said it was a way of getting to know me, but really enough is enough. I certainly have walked away as life is too short for that crap. Cheers. |
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It's crazy out there. My wierdest experience so far was a guy emailing me to fly out to San Diego. Never talked to him before. Never have seen him on the forums. He proceeded to send me a very obscene note about what he wanted to do to me. I reported him. He's still on here but I have him blocked.
Like most people have said, "next". Move forward; it's his loss.
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Could be afraid your going to Chang-hi him into the navy :-))
To me if you set time, keep it. If your afraid then do not go looking or making promises Too many are online looking but when you finally going to meet the fear factor comes into play and the word "should I or how far do I go" on a first date Me I say have sex first, then go out to dinner, dancing, for your more relaxed or you kill the date at that point. for you know if you can stand the person or not. Actually when you first meet you should know,if you are not scard of the truth |
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I am not sure how this ritual is supposed to work so maybe someone could enlighten me. A man is interested in me, he contacts me. We communicate and I am interested in him too. He says lets meet but keeps canceling the date so I figure he has lost interest and wish him well. Then he contacts me and is even more interested but by then I tell him to take a hike as don't need the games. Now if this was an isolated incident; I wouldn't give it a second thought; however this seems to be the norm. So, is this how this ritual is supposed to go? Are there just a lot of game players? I don't date alot personally so did I miss something? Your opinions would be greatly appreciated.  DO YOU have time for a small book??? I was where YOUR AT NOW,,,once,,,and it blew my mind to.. OK,,,MOST on here have THIS TYPE of game plan,,( ALTHOUGH MOST WILL SAY DIFFERENT)lol,,, You come on here,,look at the ones close to you,,then you TRY and talk with themor draw themtoYOU,,IF they write in the forums,,,NOW as THAT goes on,,,,,,YOUR JUST LOOKING and TRYING TO SENSE OUT the ones YOU FEEL MIGHT BE compatible with you... THROUGH THIS a person MAY TALK TO MANY,,,and tell themthat their someone they want to meet,,,,BUT-----------------HERES the DEAL, THEY MAY HAVE ALSO ^TALKED THIS WAY to MANY others in THIS SAME FASION,,,and NOT YET MADE THEIR MIND-UP on WHICH ONE FOR SURE,,,so THEY """"KEEP"""looking and talking to others because they have NOT SET A FOR SURE DATE WITH ANYONE? Just the IDEA of doing that,,MAYBE,,,? So in THEIR MINDS,,,they have not really made ANY PLANS LOCKED-IN. And then like YOU now,,,YOUR WONDERING,,,WTF???? And THEN,,,THEY JUST POOF,,,AND YOU ARE LEFT HANGING??? So YOU do a POST about THAT here,,,LIKE NOW,,,lol,lol. NOW for "their TRUTHS"....ok,,,THIS DOESN'T MEAN ALL,,Just MANY,ok? First,,,if they set a date and backed out,,,INMY opinion,,,IF THEY CAN'T GIVE YOU A REALLY GOOD REASON WHY??? THEN,,,,,THEY also HAD ANOTHER they were doing THAT SAME THING WITH,,and found HER to be ONE notch BETTER THAN YOU,,,so THEY put YOU OFF,,,in hopes of STILL meeting that other one FIRST... Which IS JUST WRONG,,on many Levels,,( BUT HAPPENS TO MANY HERE) I have talked with MANY from here who might have a meeting to do with TWO DIFFERENT people in the SAME DAY,,, go figure??,lol This is MY THOUGHTS ok,,, Whoever YOU have the thoughts of meeting in person,,,,KNOW THEN WELL FIRST,,,,through emails,,,and MORE IMPORTANT,,through the phone or even CAM,,,as that will prevent them fromshowing pics of them from 1990,,,lol,lol,,or just fake pics altogether...lol which HAS HAPPENED ALSO..... Get to know them that way,,and see if a phone call to them at night or in the day IS A PROBLEM? TRUE,,,many work and can't be on the phone when their working,,,BUT The weekends are never worked ALL THE TIMES,,by MANY,,a few,,,but if one time of the 24 hour day is ALWAYS A BAD TIME,,and they don't answer??????be careful,,AS THEY might HAVE SOMEONE ALREADY IN THEIR LIFE.. I mean COME-ON PEOPLE,,,,""""THESE"""" are NOTHING BUT TYPED WORDS HERE,,,and MANY LIVE TO KNOW THAT,,,and spend their lives USING OTHERS for one thing,,,so GET THAT OUT,,,and be CLEAR as to what you BOTH exspect and look to be??? because THEN,,,theres NO SURPRISES,,,,and NO WRONG exspectations.. TALK,,,learn,,,see,,,feel,their personallity out,,and then MAKE plans to really meet.... DON'T think for ONE MOMENT THAT YOUR THE ONLY ONE THIS HAS HAPPENED TO,,,,many just don't or won't admit it in forum... IF I seem a bit paranoid,,,its BECAUSE I have fell for EVERY LINE that can be made up or tossed to a person,,and I am NOT OF SIMPLE MIND,,,lol,,,so THATS WHY NOW,,,I just KNOW how to REALLY test them for their truths so I DON'T MAKE THAT HAPPEN AGAIN to me,,, Know them,,,and know their heart,,,then,,,,,,make or except a date? THIS will NOT SAVE YOU from a user,,but it damn sure will make THEM A PRO and not just someone using words to win your love or desires from you... sorry for the book,,,BUT YOU ASKED!!!!! And PLEASE,,,don't THINKI AM RIGHT HERE 100PERCENT because NO ONE EVER IS OR WILL BE,,,its just some things I have learned through my own experiences or some friends who shared me theirs... SOME PEOPLE,,,WILLNEVER FIT IN THE ABOVE STATEMENTS,,because their REAL PEOPLE and live THAT life....  I hope THIS HELPS YOU,,,or ANYONE WHO READS IT,,,,Good Luck |
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I am not sure how this ritual is supposed to work so maybe someone could enlighten me. A man is interested in me, he contacts me. We communicate and I am interested in him too. He says lets meet but keeps canceling the date so I figure he has lost interest and wish him well. Then he contacts me and is even more interested but by then I tell him to take a hike as don't need the games. Now if this was an isolated incident; I wouldn't give it a second thought; however this seems to be the norm. So, is this how this ritual is supposed to go? Are there just a lot of game players? I don't date alot personally so did I miss something? Your opinions would be greatly appreciated. omg thank you!! and i thought that i was the only one that happened to! i appreciate your thread! now i don't feel so bad 2 outta 3... well i don't know what to tell you.. but I've decided to take some more time on myself.. i don't get too excited out of someone "saying " they want to meet me.. nor do i take it too seriously.. oh and its happened to me elsewhere as well, the 2 of 3 were on here..had a 1 of 3 elsewhere..so i guess its 50/50 overall.. not really too good of odds if you ask me. and like you i feel they are games.. i just don't have time for others wasting my time.. I'm more deserving than that.. good luck to them is what i feel on their online fantasies lol!! i just laugh an move on. I'm glad they weren't my problem!!
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omg thank you!! and i thought that i was the only one that happened to! i appreciate your thread! now i don't feel so bad 2 outta 3... well i don't know what to tell you.. but I've decided to take some more time on myself.. i don't get too excited out of someone "saying " they want to meet me.. nor do i take it too seriously.. oh and its happened to me elsewhere as well, the 2 of 3 were on here..had a 1 of 3 elsewhere..so i guess its 50/50 overall.. not really too good of odds if you ask me. and like you i feel they are games.. i just don't have time for others wasting my time.. I'm more deserving than that.. good luck to them is what i feel on their online fantasies lol!! i just laugh an move on. I'm glad they weren't my problem!! Yeah I agree with your last statment that I should be glad they are not my problem. LOL. I just couldn't figure what was going on. One guy called me and emailed for days then cancelled out first meeting twice. I do suspect now that he has met someone better than me which actually does make sense. Oh well such is life. Cheers |
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