100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
| Topic: Haven't been in a proper relationship in more than 3 years | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
I moved to Glasgow 3 years ago from Belfast, and since then i haven't managed to find anyone who wants to spend more than a week with me.
It leads to less self confidence, then less attention, then less self confidence etc which is a very unhealthy cycle i cant get out of. I suppose i don't put myself out there enough but that comes from a lack of any physical forum to do so. (clubs are soooo bad) i guess i've just fallen into the routine of just hoping some girl would come up to me randomly in the street (which ain't going to happen with this body) Any suggestions on how to get out of this rut would be appreciated. :D |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Should work on your confidence yourself, don't get into a relationship because you are not confident about yourself, it will more than likely fail.
Find a hobby, something you like to do, shooting pool (snooker is awesome), or reading, something simple that is high available. Start doing it more and more, get out and socialize, not just with women but everyone...eventually you should have enough confidence to where you can approach a lady and get her number or take her to coffee. Takes work, man, best of luck! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
no suggestions unfortunately, as I'm shy but not (as you say) and find myself attracted to geeky bookish types (who don't approach women). Just thought I'd let you know that I liked your profile, and wish you luck I'm sure you'll have success. If it wasn't for the age difference, I'd be interested
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Try to get yourself out there and spend time with people. If you don’t “use it you can lose it”! I’m not just speaking of sex (although that is a biggie too) but your relationship skills will suffer: willingness to compromise, conflict resolution, sharing physical and emotional space, etc.
Get out there, man!  |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
What is a 'proper" relationship? Each relationship is a lesson, an opportunity to learn and do better next time. We should all be so fortunate to love many, many, many times.
Work on those things that you feel need improvement, be yourself and take the pressure off yourself to change for others, makes changes for you! Your worthy of a wonderful woman to come into your life...relax and allow her in when the time is right, it will happen.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks for the replies guys,
I dunno, i do a lot of things but generally they aren't activities that are easy to talk to woman. Skating - there are very little girls juggling - maybe photography - only applies when skating really clubs - i don't like them and you cant really talk, it relies on looks alone uni - to many complications work, same as above I guess i just need to walk up to any girl i find attractive in the coffee shop and try and start a conversation. I've guess its self image that would allow myself to have that confidence, its just that my self image is horrible. (but again this may be a lack of trying so not getting reassurance either way so I'm projecting my own insecurities) Ladylid, i would define a proper relationship as one where both parties don't feel awkward around each other or worried about breaking up but I'm not sure. but i think your right, i should stop worrying about it, I'm just not the type of person who leaves things to chance, tend to over analyze everything also Sam, i think the distance may also be a contributing factor but thanks :-D |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks for the replies guys, I dunno, i do a lot of things but generally they aren't activities that are easy to talk to woman. Skating - there are very little girls juggling - maybe photography - only applies when skating really clubs - i don't like them and you cant really talk, it relies on looks alone uni - to many complications work, same as above I guess i just need to walk up to any girl i find attractive in the coffee shop and try and start a conversation. I've guess its self image that would allow myself to have that confidence, its just that my self image is horrible. (but again this may be a lack of trying so not getting reassurance either way so I'm projecting my own insecurities) Ladylid, i would define a proper relationship as one where both parties don't feel awkward around each other or worried about breaking up but I'm not sure. but i think your right, i should stop worrying about it, I'm just not the type of person who leaves things to chance, tend to over analyze everything also Sam, i think the distance may also be a contributing factor but thanks :-D What is "uni"? 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I study Architecture at the Glasgow School of Art. Which is a university. or so they tell us
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ladylid, i would define a proper relationship as one where both parties don't feel awkward around each other or worried about breaking up but I'm not sure. but i think your right, i should stop worrying about it, I'm just not the type of person who leaves things to chance, tend to over analyze everything ah, many do over analyze...when I see that it makes me grateful to be more of an emotional thinker. Which for me works..not for everyone. If there is awkwardness then maybe the relationship is another learning experience. A deep, loving relationship should not be awkward. It would flow, no lags in conversation, time flies by...the freedom to be who we are. If there is awkwardness it would seem there in a holding back of just being yourselves. If that is the case, it probably isn't going to work for very long anyway. Find a hobby that makes you feel good about you...then the confidence will come more naturally. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks for the replies guys, I dunno, i do a lot of things but generally they aren't activities that are easy to talk to woman. Skating - there are very little girls juggling - maybe photography - only applies when skating really clubs - i don't like them and you cant really talk, it relies on looks alone uni - to many complications work, same as above I guess i just need to walk up to any girl i find attractive in the coffee shop and try and start a conversation. I've guess its self image that would allow myself to have that confidence, its just that my self image is horrible. (but again this may be a lack of trying so not getting reassurance either way so I'm projecting my own insecurities) Ladylid, i would define a proper relationship as one where both parties don't feel awkward around each other or worried about breaking up but I'm not sure. but i think your right, i should stop worrying about it, I'm just not the type of person who leaves things to chance, tend to over analyze everything also Sam, i think the distance may also be a contributing factor but thanks :-D What is "uni"? European slang for university, last I checked. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I moved to Glasgow 3 years ago from Belfast, and since then i haven't managed to find anyone who wants to spend more than a week with me. It leads to less self confidence, then less attention, then less self confidence etc which is a very unhealthy cycle i cant get out of. I suppose i don't put myself out there enough but that comes from a lack of any physical forum to do so. (clubs are soooo bad) i guess i've just fallen into the routine of just hoping some girl would come up to me randomly in the street (which ain't going to happen with this body) Any suggestions on how to get out of this rut would be appreciated. :D I would recommend you my ex girlfriend, who also lives where you live for 2 years now, but again, she would be a 2 week dater , since I know her and her ways to mess with anyone's head. My best advice is to get to know more and more people. And you also have to like soccer and go to soccer games, which is the best place to buddy up with other fans. A few will bound to know girls or have girlfriends who has girlfriends with no boyfriends. But this is only my suggestion, just one avenue out of the millions where you'd meet people who know people who are single. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I study Architecture at the Glasgow School of Art. Which is a university. or so they tell us Oh! University! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Looking to meet girls for the purpose of a relationship is a losing proposition.
Look to meet people. Any people, anywhere. You may find out that one or more of those people are girls. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Im in kelvingrove all the time, mainly at the skatepark though.
thanks for the encouragement anyways :D |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I don't say this to lessen your personal insecurities, but everyone to some extent or another, has confidence issues.
Just live your life, do things that interest you and find enjoyment. People are naturally pulled to happy people. Make yourself happy, and i promise, you'll have relationships, friendships, all of it.. Pick your hobbies and explore. And until then, online sites such as this are good for the occasional ego boost.. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I moved to Glasgow 3 years ago from Belfast, and since then i haven't managed to find anyone who wants to spend more than a week with me. It leads to less self confidence, then less attention, then less self confidence etc which is a very unhealthy cycle i cant get out of. I suppose i don't put myself out there enough but that comes from a lack of any physical forum to do so. (clubs are soooo bad) i guess i've just fallen into the routine of just hoping some girl would come up to me randomly in the street (which ain't going to happen with this body) Any suggestions on how to get out of this rut would be appreciated. :D Old-fashion way still exists.The guy makes the move. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
No, its much more of a getting issue! :( but thansk for the advice guys
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Looking to meet girls for the purpose of a relationship is a losing proposition. Look to meet people. Any people, anywhere. You may find out that one or more of those people are girls. And the best relationships come out of friendships. Just being with someone you can kick back with or go out and enjoy each other's company. =) |
|
|
|
|
