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Topic: Divorce finalized...now what?
Vietscouty's photo
Tue 08/03/10 12:14 AM
My divorce was finalized weeks ago and I'm confused on what am I suppose to do next. Well, work and school is all I have in mind. I'm thinking that chicks don't dig guys like myself who are divorced and has a kid? I don't know...I'm just confused. Help me out here. LOL

eileena9's photo
Tue 08/03/10 12:18 AM
Take some time to get to know "you" again and don't rush into a relationship. Enjoy some time with your child, the break-up will be hard on them too. There are plenty of women who like guys who have children and are taking care of them. Good luck to you. flowerforyou

Shasta1's photo
Tue 08/03/10 12:22 AM
I agree plus give yourself time to heal. You may think you're done, and the worst is over and it is, but now it is time for life to come back slowly to you through finding yourself as one again.

no photo
Tue 08/03/10 12:33 AM
Been there and done that. Like whats been said to you already give yourself time but give your children the time they need as well. There are pleanty of women out there who also have children and see nothing wrong in a male having kids.

no photo
Tue 08/03/10 12:46 AM
I agree with both posters above! Best of luck to you!

no photo
Tue 08/03/10 12:56 AM
Before getting involved with someone else make sure you are really over the divorce and really ready to give yourself to someone else.

msharmony's photo
Tue 08/03/10 01:20 AM

My divorce was finalized weeks ago and I'm confused on what am I suppose to do next. Well, work and school is all I have in mind. I'm thinking that chicks don't dig guys like myself who are divorced and has a kid? I don't know...I'm just confused. Help me out here. LOL



if you feel confused, regardless of the reason, its a good time to spend time alone and figure things out before inviting someone else into your life

shellbelleg's photo
Tue 08/03/10 01:42 AM
The first thing is you need to heel your hurt from getting divorce. You need to make sure you have healed thirsty.
There are women out there that will acccept you children as their own. I would just slow down looking for that special someone and tap a nap. Sweet Dreams!

no photo
Tue 08/03/10 03:27 AM
Edited by 28chacha on Tue 08/03/10 03:29 AM

My divorce was finalized weeks ago and I'm confused on what am I suppose to do next. Well, work and school is all I have in mind. I'm thinking that chicks don't dig guys like myself who are divorced and has a kid? I don't know...I'm just confused. Help me out here. LOL


I'm sorry to hear that, man. Take time to find yourself and get your bearings again. Let things heal. When you feel confident and everything seems to be going well, and you're ready to go get 'em, go get 'em. There are many single women with kids too and women who love kids but of course don't have kids. Don't sweat it. You know, more important than having a kid, is that they want to know that we as guys like kids and are good with them. When you're at your best, you'll feel sexy and confident, and the women will know and see that too. (They have radar.)

noplayers2005's photo
Tue 08/03/10 03:39 AM
And whatever you do, "don't" set a time limit on how long it will take to get back in the game. Between my 1st divorce and my 2nd marriage I had 20 yrs to myself and my kids. It allowed me to raise them without trying to please someone else. Although looking back, not everybody needs 20 yrs..lol. And as far as your child, take a good look around. How many single women do you know who don't have children? So, if we are looking for someone who accepts our kids, then the same applies the other way around. Just don't drag "every" woman you meet in front of your child, only the one who you are very serious about. I've watched several of my friends have "revolving" bedroom doors and when their kids became teenagers wondered why they bounced from person to person.
Good luck, I'm sure you'll find someone when the time is right.
Anita

s1owhand's photo
Tue 08/03/10 03:55 AM
time's-a-wastin'

tik tok!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iP6XpLQM2Cs

shoesmonkey's photo
Tue 08/03/10 04:07 AM
Edited by shoesmonkey on Tue 08/03/10 04:28 AM
What everybody said so far is true. One added note about the women that you will date. They are going to end up being your rebounds. You'll end up giving them, many of them an ear full of your woes. Talk about a downer. Anyway, keep in mind those you may end up hurting because you're not ready YET to get involved. Your're hurting. Don't pass it along. I do wish you the best of luck. I STILL hate my husband and, I haven't seen him in two and a half years! Where the hell is that bus that's supposed to run him over? At least I've developed a little sense of humor about it. These situations take much more time than you know. And, I was only with him for a year.

TxsGal3333's photo
Tue 08/03/10 05:36 AM
Take time to find yourself and to enjoy your kid. When the time comes you will find one that will not only accept you but your child as well if not then move on. Never settle learn to enjoy life and find things you enjoy doing. Happiness is not found within another but within......bigsmile

hmlover's photo
Tue 08/03/10 05:51 AM
There's so much that's not said to really understand your situation, but here's what's worked for me: Establish your routine with your child custody, new living situation, and budget constraints. After you've figured all that out, and it feels comfortable, then you can start looking toward dating... and don't worry too much about women not being into you. I think you'll find the opposite to be true, although it may be an entirely different type than you were used to before your marriage. The rebound thing mentioned earlier may or may not be true, depending on where you are at emotionally. Be honest with yourself and with the women you date, and you'll do alright. Best of luck to you. :thumbsup:

no photo
Tue 08/03/10 11:45 PM
Make time to take time.

Go real slow, you are young yet, no hurries-no worries.

In about 6 months or so, some light casual dating.

Lunch dates are nice. Activities are good dates-ride the bike, go for a hike, etc.

Take your time.


msmyka's photo
Wed 08/04/10 12:08 AM
Get laid! wooooooooo :banana:


Sorry but that's exactly what I would do ohwell

Vietscouty's photo
Wed 08/04/10 02:12 AM
Thanks for the advice everyone. Most likely I would take it but to make things clear, I don't have custody of my child and its obvious that my ex does. Sadly that I am about 1100 miles away from them but there has a been a lot of unfortunate events that happened to me so therefore I'm thinking about just those occurrences creates a turn off. Hence that I may lost a lot of things that I had worked so hard for but I manage to get back on my feet within lesser than a year. I don't know when I'll be ready to date again, and I'm sorry if I'm going to place a time limit. By my 30th birthday, my doors are completely closed. Sorry...

Gossipmpm's photo
Wed 08/04/10 05:32 AM
Now

GO GET EM!!!!

Don't wait around for nuttin!!!

Life is short!!!!

Get em baby!!!!!:heart:

Teditis's photo
Wed 08/04/10 06:15 AM
Try not to think it through so much... just let life unfold. Do your work/school... stay in touch with your family and friends.

Life is what happens in-between all those plans we make... jmo.

venusenvy's photo
Wed 08/04/10 06:36 AM
Now, a whole new chapter of your life is starting, and you can make it into whatever you want. I would caution you about getting into another relationship too fast. The rotten thing about rebounding is, we never know we are doing it. You should take time out to heal and take care of yourself. You will wake up one day out of the blue and feel that this is behind you. When that happens you will be ready to start dating again....good luck! flowerforyou

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